Ajahn Brahm - Don't Worry, Be Grumpy

Once upon a winter time, a poor young maiden in rags was collecting firewood in the snow-covered forest to heat her drafty little hut. There among the fallen wood, she saw the ugliest frog that had ever existed. “Urghh!” she shrieked. “I think I’m gonna throw up!”

Then the grotesque frog spoke: “Please don’t throw up yet. Help me instead. I’m really an unfortunate boy. I had a spell put on me by a wicked witch who didn’t like my music. Kiss me and the spell will be broken. In return I will make you wealthy and be your servant.”

So the poor girl closed her eyes and kissed the frog.

The frog didn’t turn into a prince, because these days royalty have too many bodyguards for wicked witches to come close enough to cast any spell. No, it was much better than that. The frog changed into a famous pop singer, cuter than Justin Bieber and just as rich. They started a relationship and now live happily ever after in a mansion in Malibu.

Such is the oldest fairy story, with a little twist. But what is its meaning?

There are many “ugly frogs” in our modern life. Your mother-in-law may be one of them (If you rearrange the letters in “mother-in-law” it spells “Hitler-woman”!). So how can you “kiss” such an ugly frog as the stereotypical mother-in-law?

A young Buddhist wife could not get along with her husband’s mum, even though she tried. No matter what the daughter-in-law said or did, it was never, ever good enough. The mother-in-law would always find fault with her. It was driving the young wife crazy.

The daughter-in-law tried meditating. That didn’t work.

Then she tried spreading loving-kindness to her mother-in-law every morning and evening. That didn’t work either.

Next she tried Buddhist chanting, but to no avail. The mother-in-law was just as critical of her as ever.

Being a Mahayana Buddhist, the young wife would often pray to the goddess of mercy, Kuan Yin. So early one morning she tried praying.

She must have been exhausted from all the worry about her mother-in-law because she fell asleep while praying and dreamed of Kuan Yin. There was the goddess of mercy in her flowing white robe holding the vessel of kindness, but when she looked at Kuan Yin’s face, she was shocked. The face was not the usual one that is seen on all statues of Kuan Yin in the temple. Instead, Kuan Yin had her mother-in-law’s face!

It was a sign. From that time on, the young wife regarded her difficult mother-in-law as an embodiment of the goddess of mercy.

With such a fundamental change in her attitude toward her mother-in-law, she received less negativity. The mother-in-law began to like her daughter-in-law, and they soon became the best of friends.

How you regard others will be how others regard you. That is how to kiss an ugly frog and remove the wicked spell.

Some years ago, there were very bad floods in Queensland, Australia. A Buddhist monk was stranded on the roof of his temple, and the waters were rising, when a rescue boat came to save him.

“Jump in the boat, Venerable Sir,” said the boat’s captain respectfully. “We’ve come to rescue you.”

“No need,” replied the monk, matter of factly. “I’m a follower of Kuan Yin, the goddess of mercy. I have faith Kuan Yin will save me. Please, carry on.”

“The flood will get worse,” said the captain. “You can pray to your god in the boat.”

“Don’t mock me!” protested the monk. “Kuan Yin will save me. You’ll see!”

The monk resisted all persuasion to get into the boat until it could wait no longer. The boat left to help others.

Soon, the floodwaters rose, and the monk was clinging on to the curly ornaments on the ends of the temple roof’s ridge, which every Buddhist temple must have, when a second boat came.

“Venerable Sir,” they shouted, “you’re a legend! We’re all very impressed with the strength of your belief, really, we are! Now jump in the boat! The water is rising fast.”

“No way!” replied the monk. “This is a test of faith. I’ve prayed to Kuan Yin all my long life. She won’t let me down now. Kuan Yin will save me. Leave me and save the others.”

“What if you’re wrong?” asked the captain.

“I’m not wrong!” exclaimed the monk. “You’ll see!”

No matter what the rescue crew said, that monk would not jump into the boat. So they left.

The floodwaters rose some more, and the monk was holding on to the temple’s TV aerial when a helicopter came and lowered a ladder.

“Monk!” they shouted down from a megaphone. “Listen up! You’ve proven your faith, okay? Now grab on to the damn ladder. We’re pulling you up.”

“Kuan Yin will save me!!” screamed the monk.

“Grab hold. Now !”

“I have faith!”

And still he refused. The helicopter had no choice but to move on, leaving the monk behind.

You know what happened next?

The waters rose and the monk drowned.

When that monk appeared in heaven, he was very, very angry. He went looking for the goddess of mercy, and when he found her, he blasted her. “I had such faith in you, and you let me down! I told all those nonbelievers that you would save me, and you didn’t. I’m so humiliated and so… so… so dead! Why didn’t you save me?”

Kuan Yin smiled and softly replied, “Didn’t I send two boats and a helicopter?”

Now you understand how not to pray!

A famous monastery in the mountains of northern India, well known for its highly attained monks, had recently elected a new abbot who was also their spiritual leader. As it was getting close to winter, the young monks asked their new teacher whether it was going to be a cold season or a mild one.

The new abbot’s meditation was not yet developed enough to predict the weather. However, to be on the safe side and impress his disciples, he said that it was going to be a cold winter and that the monks should collect a lot of firewood.

A few days later, he had the idea to call the local weather station and ask the professor of meteorology, who happened to have the highest qualifications from Oxford University. “Professor,” asked the anonymous caller, “what type of winter can we expect this year?”

“Signs indicate it will be a cold winter,” said the professor.

Thus it was that, the following day, the abbot told his monks to collect even more firewood.

A week later, the abbot made another anonymous call to the weather station, “Does it still look like a cold winter, professor?”

“The signs are looking worse, sir,” replied the professor. “It looks like it will be a very cold winter.”

The next morning the abbot announced to his monks that they should collect every piece of wood that they could find because he foresaw that it was going to be one of the coldest winters ever seen in the mountains.

Thinking he might have gone too far, and that if he was wrong his reputation would be lost, the abbot called the head of the local weather station again. “Professor, are you absolutely certain that the signs are predicting a very cold winter?”

“Absolutely!” replied the professor. “In fact the signs are getting worse by the day. This looks like it will be an extremely cold winter indeed.”

“How can you be so sure?” asked the anonymous caller.

“Because,” answered the learned professor, “all the holy monks in our local monastery are collecting firewood like mad.”

The friend who sent me this story said that it is a metaphor for how the stock market works. He may be right!

A local zoo had a gentle elephant called Ellie. All the children who visited the zoo loved playing with Ellie. She didn’t mind them stroking her long trunk or giving them rides through the zoo grounds. In fact she liked the attention. Sometimes, when the children had gone home and it was quiet at night, Ellie would gaze up at the stars and reminisce about the thick forests where she grew up and roamed wherever she wanted. She also remembered the times she was almost killed by hunters as well as the days when she went hungry because no food could be found. It was a comfortable life in the zoo, with delicious and plentiful food, free medical care, and an air-conditioned enclosure where she could escape the heat of the day. She was a happy elephant.