William Gass - Middle C

On the other hand, had he ever been any good at sensing slight things? did he pick up small clues with alacrity or even look for any? Joey was too busy sending misleading signals of his own. Was that the right method? maybe to become motionless, scarcely to breathe? the rabbit’s ruse. In contrast, Rudi Skizzen, his mentor in these matters, was a master of disguise. His false mustache was hidden by his beard. Mistrust was catching, though. The deceiver deceives the deceiver before he deceives the deceived. Ah … how about playing a role just for practice? To get good at it. Was Marjorie Bruss good at it? Well, he simply didn’t know. Miss Moss certainly thought so. But Miss Moss called herself a witch. What did that mean? Mr. Kazan was certainly a man of multiple suspicions. Yet Joey remembered thinking Mr. Kazan feared what wasn’t there — perhaps a good part of his obscure past. Still his store was robbed. Or was it?

There was a poet who had written about a word he liked—“presentiment”—the author’s name would not come to his tongue — such an annoyance, a sign he was flustered — and that poet had said the word referred to the way a lengthening shadow signaled the setting sun. It seemed a gloom-soaked poem, a gloom-soaked word. The unanswered question was: did Joey have, regarding Marjorie Bruss, some sort of presentment? Oh dear, he realized suddenly that his mother had accused him of crying. She didn’t know it was over spilled milk. Well, the cookies hadn’t crumbled, had they?

Don’t hang back. Come in, my boy. My name is President Howard Palfrey. These are my colleagues, Professors Morton Rinse — no, over there — and Clarence Carfagno, to my left. My left, yes. Have a seat. Oooh. I should say, have a chair, meet a chair, shouldn’t I? It’s more fitting a president. Well, one day we shall have a chair or two here at Whittlebauer. I call these gentlemen colleagues because we are a family here at Whittlebauer, and I think of myself as a member, you see, of every department, therefore they are colleagues, QED. That one will be fine. You, sir, appear to be younger than you are, if we can trust your transcript and vita. Haha. But what else is there to a man but his CV, come to think of it. We are rich in CVs here at Whittlebauer.

Yes, sir. I guess I do look young for my age. My mother thinks I’m still in my teens.

Ah, haha. You have a mother. Of course. They always think so, don’t they? Might be a problem, though, managing a class, keeping discipline, that line of things, what do you think, Mort?

Very possibly. Yes, sir. Well observed.

But now we are getting ahead of ourselves. Mr.… ah … Skizzen, this meeting is merely—. What sort of name is that, may I inquire?

It’s German.

German?

Austrian.

Hear that, Clare, Austrian.

Viennese.

Viennese! But I know that, don’t I, from your CV. What I asked was what does it mean?

I believe it refers to … means … is a … sketch, sir. Plural. Yes, the plural. Sketches.

There’s many of you, then. Morton here we call Salty Wash. Out of our dear love, of course. The students are so fond of Mort, aren’t they? of Clare, too, of course. You don’t play the piccolo?

No, sir. The piano. Only the black keys.

Rich … only the black. Haha. That limitation isn’t mentioned here … in your CV. Nooo. So we know it’s been thinned, not padded. Haha. Haha. You find me in a good mood.

I thought Mr. Skizzen mentioned the organ in his dossier, Professor Carfagno ventured. In addition to the piano.

Oh. I did. Yes. The organ.

We have a wonderful organ here at Whittlebauer when it works, the very thing angels would play if it was light enough for them to carry around. Though I guess they find all things easy.

We need an organist, and somebody who can do choir. Professor Carfagno spoke to Joseph’s knees, pressed together like a girl’s should be.

But we mustn’t rush things, mustn’t let need hasten us into error. Yes. I mean no, we mustn’t. This meeting, for example, is wholly preliminary. We shall cast our net wide. Our trawlers shall plow the seas. However, since we could see from your CV that you — surprise! eh? — live here in Woodbine … well, we thought we might speak to you first.

I’m glad of that.

How long have you been living in Woodbine — it seems such an unlikely spot.

Oh, now, Clare, don’t say that. What is unlikely about our little piece of Eden?

For someone born in Austria.

We all come from somewhere else, here, in America.

I understand you studied music in Graz.

No, sir, Professor Rinse. My studies were in Vienna where my father played a second violin for the philharmonic.

Quite an accomplishment.

Thank you, yes, but a second violin. To be only a second. It broke his heart.

I should imagine. Rinse’s eyes had now risen to Joey’s belt.

The symphony has a school. I studied with the great Gerhardt Rolfe.

You don’t say. Rolfe?

A very demanding man. I was very young, of course.

How precocious!

I might have been called that if I had been four or five, but I was ten.

It seems to me I’ve heard your name. Bruited about, you know. Morton’s eye was eye to eye with Joey’s finally, under a wrinkled brow.

My mother lives in town, too. And I did do some substituting at Saint Agatha’s Church.

Ah, yes, that … must … be … it.

I must see to the welfare of my mother.

Is that on your CV? I don’t remember that being on your CV.

It was just a little substituting. I didn’t think it significant.

For what were you a substitute, may I inquire?

The organist.

Nice crowd at the Saint Agatha’s. You read our ad, I suppose, and know what we need. Here at Whittlebauer we are a different denomination, of course. So many children … in their world of belief … destined for the service of the church. Great advantage. They are aimed like an arrow …

No, I’m afraid not, sir. I didn’t see — didn’t read—

But they are as prolific as herrings!

Yes, sir. I meant that I learned of the position from my mother and she from friends before I called the office here on the Hill and got the information.

Oh, too bad. We had a fine ad … in all the major journals, too. We even considered the Times , the ad was so fine.

The Woodbine … ?

No, no. New York . The New York Times . But they wanted entirely too much. Who do they think they are? We are not a wealthy school. Just rich in CVs. Haha. They take advantage of our Middle West, our size. We select, of course, as carefully as any good greengrocer. Our students. And our faculty, too, as you can see.

Professor Rinse, you might have heard my name — I just remembered where — you might have heard my name in connection with President Palfrey’s niece, Miss Gwynne Withers, who—

Gwynne Withers! she’s my niece. How is it you know her?

— whom you once substituted for — music and magic, was it? — when she was unable—

To get my piano tuned! yes! I remember that. You remember that, don’t you, Mort? the piano she was going to use — well, the piano belongs to the college, of course, but it is located in my—

For the Board of Trustees? yes, she was quite distraught, as I remember. So I stepped in, Mr. Skizzen, as it happened, yes, music and magic, stepped in with Music and Magic. I play the violin, sometimes, with my tie.

They couldn’t find a tuner in time. Was that you? who was to accompany—?

Yes, but I found a tuner. He just couldn’t find us. I was to accompany her in preparing for her recital. A man from Columbus was to have — you know — come for the occasion from Columbus, it was indeed Columbus—