Kingsley Amis - Dear Illusion - Selected Stories

Still laughing, he staggered through the group and ended up by the banisters, laboriously trying to fit his revolver back into its holster. The major swung back towards Hargreaves. Afterwards opinion was divided on whether he was really going to hit him, but Doll evidently thought so, for he bounded forward and shouldered the major aside. Raleigh collided hard with Davison, whose attention was distracted by his revolver and holster and who at once, with a single cracking of wood, fell through the banisters and down into the tiled hall. He landed with another cracking sound which made the backs of Archer’s thighs turn cold. Doll ran down the stairs, closely followed by Cleaver. Hargreaves said: ‘I’m sorry, Mr Archer.’

V

‘Cup of tea for you, sir. And the newspapers.’

‘Thank you. Did you get on to the hospital?’ Major Raleigh spoke almost without inflection, as he usually did these days.

‘Yes, sir. Progress maintained. Too early yet to say when he’ll be up and about again, but the concussion’s definitely not as bad as they thought at first and the arm’s coming along as well as can be expected after a complicated fracture.’

Outside, heavy transport could be heard toiling in low gear. ‘What’s that row?’

‘That’s 424 Wireless forming up to move out, sir. They’re due at the railhead at fifteen-hundred hours.’

‘I know.’

‘Are you going down to see them off, sir?’

‘No.’

‘Oh, by the way, Colonel Davison sent you a message, sir.’

‘Did he?’

‘Yes, he did, sir. Thanks for the party and he hopes he wasn’t a nuisance.’

The major screwed up his soft face as a motor-bike revved up in the road below. ‘Shut the window, will you, Doll?’

‘Right, sir.’ The operation completed, Doll turned round and leant against the sill. ‘Well, we’ve all been very lucky, sir, really, haven’t we? Things might have turned out much more serious. By the way, I thought you were very wise not to go on with that idea of yours of having Hargreaves court-martialled. Very wise indeed, sir.’

‘When I want your opinion of my decisions, Doll, I’ll ask for it.’ This tripped less well off the major’s tongue than it might have done at another time. Only Colonel Davison’s accident had prevented that last encounter with Hargreaves from degenerating into a serious breach of order. The persistence of this thought bothered Raleigh. He said wearily: ‘And while you’re here I’d like you to tell me in detail how Hammond got on to that list with Hargreaves.’

‘I’ve nothing to add to my previous account, sir, but still. You asked me to complete the list at my discretion, right? So seeing Hargreaves’s name there, and knowing that Hammond was his mate, I put him down too. We’ve always done that sort of thing.’

‘Is that all you knew?’

‘Why, of course, sir. What else is there to know?’

‘How did Archer come to sign that message?’

‘Well, again as before, sir, Mr Archer happened to call in at the Orderly Room and I asked him, as I might have asked any officer who was available. There were one or two things piled up and I wanted to get them off.’

‘Did Mr Archer read it through before he signed it?’

‘I really couldn’t say, sir. Quite likely he had enough confidence in me not to bother. You’ve often done the same yourself, sir, and believe me I very much appreciate the implied compliment.’

‘Are you telling me the truth, Doll?’

‘Mr Archer will confirm every word I’ve said, sir, as far as it concerns him.’

The major sighed heavily. ‘I suppose that’s that.’

‘I suppose so, sir. Actually it’s a pity we’ve lost Hammond, a very pleasant young fellow I agree, but it’s not going to make much difference, sir, is it? There’d have been nothing for him to do here after the Signal Office closes down next week. I don’t suppose any of us will be together much longer. Captain Cleaver and Mr Archer and the others on twenty-four-hour warning. You’ll be all on your own here before very long, sir.’

‘I’m looking forward to it.’

Doll almost smiled. ‘Of course, it’s Mr Archer who’s come best out of this. Dodging the Far East after all. What a bit of luck that was, eh, sir?’

Something close to attention entered the major’s manner. ‘Dodging the Far East?’

‘Oh, no doubt about it, sir. Even if he goes tomorrow it’ll take him ten days to get home, the way things are. Then he’ll go on twenty-eight days’ leave, which’ll bring him to the first week in September. And with his release due a month at most after that it wouldn’t be worth anybody’s while to put him on a boat. No, he’s—’

‘Doll, I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Really, sir? I’m awfully sorry, I was sure Mr Archer would have told you long ago. When was he telling me about it, now? Yes, I can remember exactly — it was the earlier part of the evening on which Colonel Davison met with his accident. Mr Archer and I went on to discuss the Election results — that’s right — and then we—’

‘All right, I don’t want the story of your life. I asked you to tell me—’

‘Do forgive me, sir — I’ve got this bad habit of letting my tongue run away with me, I know. It’s just that the events of that evening are so indelibly impressed on my memory, sir, if you know what I — Yes, sir. Well, Mr Archer showed me a letter from the head of his college in Oxford, the Master I think he called himself. It said they were arranging his release from the Army and reckoned he’d be out in good time to go into the college when the term begins, which I gather is about the 10th of October, though no doubt you could put me right there.’

‘But he’s only been in for three or four years. You and I and most of the blokes have been in for six.’

‘Seven in my case, sir; you’ll recall that I was one of the 1938 militiamen. Yes, I know it seems strange, Mr Archer getting out so soon, but apparently this is something called the Class “B” Scheme — we had a memo about it a couple of weeks ago which I’ll look out for you if you’re interested.’

‘Don’t bother.’

‘How funny Mr Archer hasn’t told you yet. I expect he’s waiting for a suitable opportunity, sir, don’t you?’

‘Get out and leave me in peace.’

‘Glad to, sir.’

Left in peace, the major sat on at his almost-empty table. The bulk of 424 Wireless Station was evidently moving out on to the main road along Raleigh’s Alley, making full use of that thoroughfare for the first and last time. The major’s eye missed a letter from the British Drama League saying that Journey’s End was not available. It caught an order informing him that with effect from two days’ time the area of which he had hoped to become chieftain would be known as No. 9 Independent Transit Area and would fall under the command of a full colonel despatched from HQ. He picked up a newspaper headlined IT’S NO JOKE-IO TO LIVE IN TOKYO: 600 Super-Forts Blast Jap Heartland and put it down again. The other paper contained a large Election supplement. He summoned the resolution to study the details of what he had so far been able to take in only as an appalling generality. Turning to an inner page, he read:

WINKWORTH (WEST) R. Jack (Lab) 28,740 Maj.-Gen. P. O. de C. Biggs-Courtenay, DSO (C) 9,011 Lab majority 19,729

LABOUR GAIN FROM CONSERVATIVE

1935: Maj.-Gen. P. O. de C. Biggs-Courtenay, DSO (C) 19,495; W. Mott (Lab) 9,319: C majority 10,176

The major dropped his head into his hands. This, he supposed, was the bottom. And yet he felt a stirring of hope. Having sunk to the lowest depths his nature was capable of, he could not help seeing the future as some sort of upward path. Nobody and nothing in his immediate environment gave him the smallest reason for confidence. Doll, Cleaver, Hammond, Davison, Archer (whom he had tried so hard to train up as a conscientious Officer), the Company, the Signal Office, chances of leadership — all in their different ways had turned out to be not worth depending on. But the world was wide. Bad things could happen and it all went on as before. The thought of his friends in Potsdam filled him with encouragement now, not envy. Much of what he believed in must survive.