Linda Rosenkrantz - Talk

MARSHA: Together in the bathtub? Polaroid snap? My first real love was a girl, Meg Kaplan. I wrote her a letter saying I’d never forget her no matter what happened, what paths our lives took, whether they stopped crossing or what, I would always love her.

EMILY: Maybe that’s why you never got married.

EMILY: Vinnie, wouldn’t it be great when Clem comes out if the three of us went to bed together? He must have a beautiful little penis.

VINCENT: What makes you think it’s little?

EMILY: No, you’re right, it’s probably a sweet fat cowboy punchy midwest free penis.

MARSHA: You’re always talking about the size of the penis.

VINCENT: Oh Marsha! That’s what people talk about these days.

MARSHA: Only you.

EMILY: And me . I talk about it with Joan all the time.

VINCENT: Everybody does.

MARSHA: Well, here’s where I get left out of the conversation then. Can you dig my clock out of the bed?

EMILY: Can we dig the ashtray out of the gum?

MARSHA: Okay, if you two are all set with Clem, where does that leave me?

EMILY: Is it a put-down for a woman to sleep with those two men?

VINCENT: What a horrible thing to say! Both happen to be straight interiorly.

EMILY: Let me ask you about the dynamics of an orgy. What really happens?

VINCENT: Are you talking about an orgy or a ménage à trois?

EMILY: What’s the difference?

VINCENT: Orgies are completely anonymous.

MARSHA: I thought a ménage à trois had to be a whole household setup. Ménage means living together.

VINCENT: Not anymore, darling. Don’t forget I lived in Rome, so I know.

EMILY: Okay, then what are the dynamics? For instance, I wouldn’t want to sleep with Marsha and someone else no matter how drunk I get. Who would you like to have the ideal orgy with?

VINCENT: I’m very interested in three men.

EMILY: What are you interested in, Marsha? Orgy or ménage?

MARSHA: Ménage .

EMILY: Me too.

VINCENT: I don’t like the idea of an orgy because for me the personal thing is very very important, and with a ménage à trois , you still retain it. And the reason I’m interested in two other men is that it’s a beautiful thing to have two penises in your mouth at once.

MARSHA: My God, how big a mouth do you have?

VINCENT: Enormous, but I pick very small penises too. You can also have three balls, two from one person and one from the other.

MARSHA: Do you have to hold your mouth open with your hands?

VINCENT: No.

MARSHA: Why is it so beautiful to have two penises in your mouth?

VINCENT: It’s a fantastic extension of experience.

EMILY: That’s what I’m interested in, extending my sexual experience.

MARSHA: Wouldn’t you like a couple of tits in your mouth at the same time, Vinnie? A ball in the hand is worth two tits in the mouth.

EMILY: Two tits in the bush. You know when I was under LSD, I could have done anything, I was so tuned-in sexually, so aware on so many psychic levels.

VINCENT: I’m really surprised you don’t want to go to bed with Marsha. You can’t face up to that, can you? Are you able to go to bed with anyone at all?

EMILY: What do you mean, darling?

VINCENT: I mean is sexuality to you so special that you can only go to bed with a specific person, or when you need it can you go with anyone?

EMILY: No, I can’t go to bed with anyone. I’m much more selective than Marsha, actually. I’ve had my promiscuous periods, but…

MARSHA: What do you mean? I can’t go to bed with just anyone either.

EMILY: No, but it doesn’t mean as much to you on that promiscuous level. But why are you so surprised that I don’t want to go to bed with Marsha?

VINCENT: Because you seem very open to me sexually.

EMILY: I am very open sexually, but I’m not interested in going to bed with Marsha. I love her but I don’t feel any desire for her.

VINCENT: If I had a chance to go to bed with my best friend, I would.

EMILY: Well you’re very different from us. For one thing, we’ve never had any homosexual experience. I did when I was twelve or thirteen, but I haven’t since. And the only thing that involved was necking and touching breasts, that’s it.

MARSHA: What else is there?

VINCENT: Licking cunts. That’s something I’d never do. Have you ever had men lick your cunt?

EMILY: Of course.

VINCENT: Every time you go to bed with a man does he do that? Did you ever stick your tongue up a man’s ass-hole?

MARSHA: Sure, hon, we can do anything boys can do.

EMILY: No, how does a ménage à trois work? Doesn’t it make you feel competitive?

VINCENT: Yes.

EMILY: I don’t like that.

MARSHA: What’s wrong with a little healthy competition? It’s the American way.

VINCENT: Oh please let me keep holding it.

MARSHA: Please darling, don’t.

VINCENT: You really feel I’m wasting you, don’t you? And Emily’s absolutely stunned.

EMILY: I can’t even see anything, Vinnie, because her knee is there. It looks very sweet; though it’s average, but full average.

VINCENT: No it’s not. Let’s not make it more than it is. But you know something? It’s got an enormous head on it.

EMILY: That’s what counts.

VINCENT: With a good set of brains.

MARSHA: We got pretty far with our orgy talk.

VINCENT: It’s because we’re sitting in the bedroom. It is , darling. Believe me, I know all about all things. In the living room, everything was crystallized and crystalline.

EMILY: I know nothing about nothing, but I will say—

VINCENT: Who would your ideal be?

EMILY: Well I wouldn’t want to share Michael Christy with anyone because I love him so much.

MARSHA: Even with another man?

EMILY: Possibly with another man.

VINCENT: What if he was sucking him? Then you’d be jealous.

MARSHA: I’d like that, I’d be interested.

EMILY: I’d be very interested, I’d be fascinated.

VINCENT: Jonquil’s a very special cat.

EMILY: She’s brilliant.

MARSHA: I would take Zeke.

EMILY: I’d take Michael Christy and maybe Nathan Fass.

VINCENT: What about Zeke, me and you? No, let’s be honest, you’re not attracted to me, Marshie, you don’t want to go to bed with me.

MARSHA: No.

VINCENT: I would like to go to bed with Zeke though.

MARSHA: Who can I have in my parlay with Zeke?

VINCENT: This is getting stupid. You know what it is? It’s just repeating that old game of yours, I’m sorry. Instead of picking one man to go to bed with, you’re picking two.

EMILY: I would like to go to bed with Michael Christy and see a man suck him off and everything else.

VINCENT: You’d be very jealous.

EMILY: Darling, I am fantastically curious. I’d like to go to the beach with you right now and watch a whole scene.

VINCENT: You want to hide in the back seat, I’ll pick up someone and you’ll hear us talking and everything?

EMILY: Yeah, I really would. Who are you more attracted to, Marsha, Joan or me?

MARSHA: Joan.

EMILY: I love Marshie, she’s getting so open.

VINCENT: Please, just let me see it.

MARSHA: Absolutely not.

EMILY: It’s sweet that he wants to see it. Let him see it, I want to watch him see it.

MARSHA: Close your eyes and I’ll show it to you.

VINCENT: Okay.

EMILY: Do you know that I’m embarrassed?

MARSHA: All right, I showed it to you.

VINCENT: Show me again.

MARSHA: Close your eyes.

VINCENT: It’s beautiful, it really is. I’m sorry, Emmy, it is.