Gilbert Sorrentino - Aberration of Starlight

How are you doing little brother? I’m writing to you at Lake Ronkonkoma because I seem to remember that this is about the time that you take your two weeks from the salt mines. I hope the kids are okay and of course the ball and chain. I’m only kidding, Susan. You must have that damn palace just about paid off by now. What about your plans about living there all year round? I guess it’s not so cheap to put in a cellar. And in times like these, oh boy.

I’m writing by the way, to thank you for finding out about this place for me at the office. It is, kid, just what the doctor ordered. It’s about a mile and a half or two down a dirt road to the nearest main road and about ten miles from there to Hackettstown which is the Big City around here. Netcong is the other way, maybe fifteen miles. And very quiet and cool in the evenings. Some skeeters at night but what can you expect in Jersey? At least they don’t wear shoes like people say. The people who run this place are your typical Germans, neat as a pin and run like clockwork. The meals they put on the table three times a day are enough to choke a horse. My table has five people plus yours truly and for breakfast for example there is always two platters of eggs, two dozen in all plus, ham and bacon and cereal and about ten gallons of fresh, and I mean fresh milk and coffee, not to mention bread and rolls and buns and biscuits, you name it. If you see me in the Fall and think you’re looking at another Hindenburg, I won’t be surprised, believe me.

I guess that Janet and little Tommy will be spending some time with you later in the summer after they come back from my dear sweet mother in law’s in Connecticut. If she starts in on me kid, do me a favor and take all her belly aching with a grain of salt, okay? Janet has a tendency to paint me all black and what really gets me is, she does it in front of the kid. Maybe you can get Susan to ask her to take it easy on me for Tommy’s sake. But for God’s sake don’t tell Janet you heard a peep from me about this because she’ll do the exact opposite as sure as hell. God only knows what she’s been feeding the kid about me but it gets my goat to be the villain of the piece. I know I have to bear a lot of the blame for this mess but it takes two to make a marriage, am I right! Gee how I envy you, kid. Susan is some peach.

Speaking of peaches, there is a gal up here who is in the same boat as me, divorced, maybe about 34, 35 and she is quite a looker. She’s got a boy about Tommy’s age and a nice kid too. She has her father with her too. A widower and the old geezer can’t stand me. But Marie, which is her name, likes me a lot and we get along fine. Don’t get any ideas that romance is on my mind. Once burned twice shy. It’s just nice that there is somebody my own age here and we can have some good clean fun and a few laughs. The old man and I play a lot of croquet and kid, is the old fart good? Oh brother. If I beat him once in a blue moon he gets so sore that he snaps at everybody the rest of the day.

Alright, I’m stopping here before I write a book. Give my love to Susan and tell her that I said you better be good to her because she is pure gold. And love to the kids too,

Tom

P.S. Don’t forget what I said about Janet and her tales. By the way, you wanted to know the name of the lake up here. Budd Lake is its name.

I never dreamed when I saw you get out of the car that day — I remember you were wearing a knockout polka-dot dress — that we, that I, would feel this way. I mean, feel the way about you, I do.

Poppa will definitely warm up to you. He’s all discombobulated with Momma dead just six months. Don’t worry, please Tom, about Poppa.

I’m embarrassed to say, but I’ve been having trouble sleeping since the other night we walked back from the Hi-Top.

Of course I can go out with you! What makes you think I can’t go out with who I please, socially? My God, Tom, if you think Poppa’s such a tyrant …

We really have a barrel of laughs, Billy and I. He’s a swell kid. He reminds me so much, more and more, of my Tommy. I wish you could meet him.

Oh Tom, I feel like a high-school girl with her first crush. My first real crush was on a boy I worked with just out of high school. In a bank. He was full of fun. I feel just like that, but more.

But what about your father? My God, Marie, it’s been almost three weeks you’ve been here and the old man’s hardly spoken a civil word to me. When we play croquet even he won’t talk unless he absotively has to. Can you maybe give him the lowdown that I’m not a deadbeat? He treats me like I’m contagious.

When you mention the other night, Tom … you make me blush. The mother of a ten-year-old boy. Blushing.

God, how I’d love to take you out stepping. You think you and me might go dancing this Saturday night? They’ve got Red Nichols and

His Five Pennies at the WigWam all weekend. You think you and me, I mean, us, not a gang.

I’ve always loved that dress. I’ve been told it’s very becoming on me. But I’ve always looked good in blue. If I do say so myself.

Just some privacy! Some time together. And some privacy. Jesus H. Christ. I feel like we’re in a store window. Or a goldfish bowl.

I have to admit, Tom, when you came to the top of the porch steps with your book and pipe, well …

I toss and turn. I get up and smoke. All I can think about is you and the way, the other night …

I haven’t been to the WigWam in years. It was always a swell place. I’d love to go!

Really, Marie, really. Really, I never thought I’d ever feel this way again. After all the misery and heartaches with my wife, well, let’s leave her out of this, but I never dreamed I’d ever look twice at another woman. But you … you’re special. You’re just swell.

Tom. That’s funny! That’s so funny. The same thing crossed my mind. The tricks life plays. Suppose you were that teller?

If you only knew how much I want, right this minute, to kiss you and kiss you, oh, this is one hundred per cent nuts.

Yes, it would be lovely to meet him, he must be a little gentleman. I’m afraid that Billy is no gentleman, but he adores you. He looks up to you. I’ve done my best to try and breed some manners in him.

Good? You’re an eyeful in that dress. You’re an eyeful in anything.

Well then, let’s make it definite for Saturday night. I’d love it!

I was thinking, Marie, how my life would have been if I only met you twelve years ago. Oh, that kind of stuff is a lot of bushwa, I know, but still …

The fields were so quiet with nothing but the crickets and the fireflies. I felt like, this is silly, but I felt like we were in a movie.

The one thing I was hoping and praying was that you wouldn’t think I was just being a fresh guy. All hands. But you were so gorgeous.

I haven’t been sleeping well either. I feel like I’m walking on air.

Even that first day when you came in from the station, your father … if looks could kill!

I just hope that nobody notices how I, you know, look. I have the crazy idea that everybody can see right through me and how I feel. That Helga is the worst, what a busybody. If she gets Poppa’s ear with her gossip!

He saw exactly how much I was admiring you and he didn’t like it one little bit. Not a bit! I noticed it right away, more of a feeling. But it was right there. Still is right there.

It was like being on some road in a strange place. And I’ve been coming up here almost my whole life, long before I was married. Years before.

I got up that night and stood at the window like a damn fool for an hour at least, three o’clock in the morning. Thinking and thinking about you and knowing you were just down the hall. I swear to God, Marie, I almost went down and knocked on your door.