Jeffery Allen - Holding Pattern - Stories

Yeah.

You should show him our resident.

This one here?

Sure.

No, I don’t think so.

Go ahead. It might do him some good. He leaves.

What resident? I ask.

Police matters. He sittin there writin sumpin on a clipboard.

How long is this gon take?

They’ll release you from juvenile after you see a judge.

What? But I ain’t underaged.

They’ll have to verify all of that.

What? I’m thinkin, They got all kindsa ways to fuck with you. Officer, what’s the charge?

Solicitation.

Solicitation? What? I ain’t no pimp.

That’s the charge.

Look, I’m jus tryin to make a livin.

It’s still against the law.

Then somebody need to change the goddamn law.

The cop looks over at me. I’m sure they’ll change the goddamn law for you. You’re so wonderful. You’re so essential to our long-term survival.

I snorted. Ain’t this a bitch.

Could you do one thing for me? Steve says.

What?

Would you mind?

What?

Would you shut your fuckin mouth? Thank you.

So I jus sit there and shut the fuck up. What else I’m gon do?

There’s something you don’t realize, Steve says.

What’s that, Officer?

I’m givin you a fuckin break here.

A break? Is that what you call it?

Yes, that’s what we call it.

Okay. You the authority. I suck my teeth.

He lookin at me. You know what, we got theft of city services. Three counts. Endangerment of a child. Two counts. Corruption of a minor. Two counts. Fleeing the scene of a crime. One count. Evading arrest. One count. And one count of aggravated assault.

What’s the assault for?

On the train platform you stepped on some lady’s toe.

I jus slid down in my seat. These niggas is a trip.

You should be thanking me.

Thanks.

Okay, that’s the paperwork. He flips the clipboard down on the desk. They’ll be takin you over to juvy.

You already told me that.

So, I can’t tell you again?

I ain’t say shit, not one fuckin word.

Are we clear?

Yes, Officer.

Okay. So, they’ll be taking you over to juvy. But before they do, I want to show you something.

What?

I’ll show you.

Why?

Because you’re such a smart and honest and delightful and handsome sonuvabitch.

You gon beat me or sumpin?

You think we really do that.

I jus look at him, and keep lookin.

Follow me.

So he gets up from the desk and I gets up from the chair, and I follow him through a door into a large room wit one cell, a good twelve feet high and wide and maybe ten deep. There’s this one nigga inna cell, stretched out on this one cot, his hands behin his head and his feet crossed at the ankles.

Okay, Steve says. I’ll leave you to it. He walks outta the room, shuts the door, and leaves me standin befo this stretched-out nigga.

The nigga looks over and sees me, and that’s when I see his face for the firs time. Some old nigga. Well, maybe he ain’t too old. His hair got nappy patches of gray, and gray hairs curl throughout his goatee. But the face is smooth. He swing his legs round and props to a sittin position, bent over, lookin down at his shoes. Then he be like, So, what they get you for? Talkin to his shoes.

Jumpin the turnstile.

They arrest people fo that now?

I chuckle. Nawl. They send you to college.

He looks up at me. Is that what they do? Sayin it like he don’t know I’m dissin his ass.

So, Pops, what you doin back here?

What it look like I’m doin?

Not much. Jus sittin there. Hey, I really think I should bounce. Why don’t I let you sleep it off.

You can’t sleep off what I got.

I chuckle. Pops, they takin you to the rehab? Is that where you goin, the rehab?

Why would I need to go there?

You tell me.

Are you as dumb as you look? Any fool can see I’m here workin wit you.

Workin wit me? Okay, Pops. Really. Why don’t I let you sleep if off. Hey, Steve.

Nigga, what’s wrong? You afraid?

Afraid?

Don’t stress yourself.

Afraid?

The cell locked.

Hey, Pops, I’m fin to bounce.

Nigga, you might as well relax. That door locked.

I look at the door, look at Pops, look at the door, look at Pops. Hey, what’s this all about? You an officer? Aw ight, you got me. I’m scared.

Do I look like an officer?

I look him over. He wearin this kinda two-piece, a plain red shirt, no collar, and plain red sweats, and the material is all worn, with lint and loose thread. The shit look raw, like a plucked chicken. What they get you for?

You don’t wanna know.

How long you been in?

Oh, about twenty-seben years.

What? Twenty-seven years?

Give or take.

I’m thinkin, Okay, he’s one of the crazies. One of those loons who’ll sneak up behin you and shove you off the platform. Maybe I do have me a lawsuit. Got me locked up in here wit some crazy. Cruel and unusual punishment.

I work fo the city. Around the clock. I help them with some of the problem cases.

Problem cases?

That’s right.

I know he a crazy, but I don’t let on. So that means I’ve graduated, I say.

Come again?

The dick out there called me a piece of shit. But now I graduated to a problem case.

Steve didn’t say that.

Yes, he did.

He lookin at me. What’s your name?

Didn’t they tell you?

Would I be askin if they did?

Well, I don’t feel like sayin.

Suit yoself. You know why they brought you back here?

You sure in the fuck are gonna tell me.

They want you to see my wings.

Thinkin, Oh man. I know I got me a lawsuit. You can fly?

Most winged creatures can.

I look around the room fo a chair or somewhere to sit. Shit.

I ain’t stepped outta this cell since they arrest me. Twenty-seben years.

What bout when you haf to take a piss or a shit?

He jus look at me. You ain’t sayin nothin but what’s natural.

So, you a natural man too, huh, Pops?

No. I’m a public servant. And I’m damn good at it, and I enjoy my work. I got clean comfortable board. I get my rations and my commissary. And the pay ain’t bad. Though I don’t spend none of my salary. Ain’t spend none in these twenty-seben years. I just have them put it all in the bank. I must be richer than Rockefeller by now. Maybe someday I’ll leave it all to a young buck like you.

Fuck someday. I’ll settle for a loan today.

No way. I can tell by the way you dressed you ain’t got no collateral.

Pops, look at you. Don’t talk bout the way nobody dressed.

Granted. We both men. He cough. Will you allow me to ask you a difficult question?

Why, Pops? What you got to ask me?

You drop outta school, didn you?

Nawl, Pops. I’m in college. I got to get my law degree so I can represent broke-ass motherfuckers like you.

Why you stop goin?

All they did was teach me how to curse.

You don’t say? That’s the same exact thing they taught me.

I get a real good laugh offa that one. Pops, you is funny. Real funny. You old niggas master them jokes. Man. So now I bet you gon tell me that you used to be like me?

I ain’t never been like you. I ain’t never been anything like you.

He just sittin there starin at me, eyes all glowin, and I’m thinkin, This motherfucker bout to go off. Better do somethin to calm his ass down. So, Pops, where yo wings?

You ready to see them? He starts to takin off his shirt, pullin his arms outta the sleeves.

Hey, hold up. I’m thinkin maybe I should go over and make sure the jail cell locked.

Don’t worry, he says. I ain’t no freak, he says.

Why don’t you keep yo shit on. Jus tell me what you got to tell me.