Amy Greene - Bloodroot

The first person that came to mind was Louise. I went down the porch steps and stepped over Pat Blanchard. I headed down the street toward Louise’s. I don’t remember how long I ran with Sunny, both of us crying, before Louise’s car slowed down and stopped beside of me. She rolled down the window and said, “Lordy mercy, what’s happened?” I yanked open the door and nearly set down in the spaghetti she was bringing me. I said, “Take me to Zelda’s.” It was a comforting place where the best day of my life happened. I’d think better if I could stand on that deck where me and Clint got married. Louise didn’t ask any questions. She just drove me there. I cried the whole way, still half out of my head. Sunny slept in my arms, even though Louise had a car seat in the back she’d found at a yard sale. I couldn’t stand to let go of him. We pulled up in the Thompsons’ driveway and Louise had to help me to the door. Zelda answered it with her hair rolled up in pin curls. I seen all the color go out of her cheeks. Louise said, “She won’t tell me what’s wrong.” They led me inside to set down with Sunny. Zelda brought me a glass of water. I told them as much as I remembered about Pat Blanchard coming to the door and what I did to her. They looked at each other with big eyes. Mr. Thompson had come in from somewhere. He was standing in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen. He said, “Somebody’s got to call an ambulance for that woman.”

Zelda said, “We can’t, Ralph. She’ll get in trouble with the law.”

Mr. Thompson said, “Think about what you’re saying.”

Louise said, “He’s right, Zelda. She might be hurt bad.”

Zelda said, “Laura heard her making noise. I bet she’s all right.”

“Why don’t you talk sense?” Mr. Thompson hollered. I’d never heard him raise his voice that way. It made me feel like crying again. “We can’t let somebody lay over there with bones broke and their head busted and no telling what all else.”

Zelda turned to me. I seen her trying to be calm. “Listen, honey. I believe you’re in shock. Why don’t you take Sunny in my bedroom and rest until you’re feeling better.”

I didn’t want to rest but my head was too addled to argue. I let her lead me down the hall to the bed with Sunny in my arms. I gave him to her while I climbed on the bedspread with roses on it. She put him down beside of me and he snuggled up to my belly. He was rooting around for my breast in his sleep. I pulled up my shirt for him. Feeding him made me calmer. It was almost like nothing bad had happened. I dozed off looking at the scissors on the nightstand, where Zelda had been clipping coupons in bed.

I must have slept quite a while. The room was dark when I woke up. I heard a strange man’s voice in the living room and switched on the lamp. I got out of the bed, careful not to wake up Sunny, and cracked the door to hear better. He was saying, “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to take her in. Miss Blanchard is pressing charges.”

“She’s resting right now,” Zelda said.

“Will you have to use the handcuffs?” Louise asked. I could tell she was crying.

“She’s a good girl,” Zelda said. “She was just scared for her baby.”

“I can’t help it, ma’am,” the policeman said. “I’ve got a warrant.”

I looked at the window and then at Sunny. It was too high off the ground and I might drop him. I would have to go out the kitchen door, onto the deck. I thought of the children at my wedding, fluttering down the steps like butterflies. I wanted to cry but there wasn’t time. I got Sunny up from the bed. He whined a little bit, but he was a heavy sleeper and he didn’t wake up. I opened the door as quiet as I could. It was going to be hard because it was a small house, but I could go through the dining room to get to the kitchen. It was right across the hall from the bedroom. I crept across the hall and into the dining room. The mahogany hutch was shining in the dark. I headed for the light of the kitchen. I could already see the black panes of the door leading to the deck with the kitchen’s reflection in them. If I could make it there, me and Sunny would be free. But as soon as I stepped on the kitchen tiles I seen Mr. Thompson by the sink. It was like he’d been expecting me. My heart dropped to my feet. He said, “Honey, you won’t get very far with that baby. It ain’t no kind of life for him anyhow, running from the law.”

That’s when I heard another strange voice in the living room, a woman that sounded so much like Pat Blanchard I thought for a second it might be her. Then I figured Pat Blanchard wouldn’t be in any shape to get out and take somebody’s baby after what I done to her. I knowed they’d sent somebody else to take Sunny. There was probably twenty more just like her. Zelda asked, “Can the baby stay with me or Louise until we get this mess straightened out? We’re the only family Laura’s got.”

“I’m sorry,” the woman said. “In a case like this, the baby always goes to a blood relation. The paternal grandmother will be taking him.”

She might as well have shot me through the heart. It was all I could do to keep from sinking down right yonder in the floor. I had to make myself get moving again. I lunged for the door but Mr. Thompson stepped in front of it. I crashed into his belly and bumped my head on his chin. Sunny started crying so loud it hurt my ears. It hit me that Mr. Thompson was probably the one that called the police on me. Then all of a sudden they was in the kitchen, the policeman and the woman that sounded like Pat Blanchard and looked something like her, too. I was still trying to get around Mr. Thompson. I’ll never speak to him again, even though I know he just wanted to do the right thing. The policeman was moving toward me saying, “You’ll have to come with me, Miss Blevins.” Zelda was begging, “Now, wait just a minute.” Louise was standing with her hands over her eyes, bawling out loud. I was looking around, trying to find an escape route and hold on to what was left of my mind at the same time. Then the policeman had ahold of my arm that wasn’t holding Sunny. I hollered out, “Wait, he’s hungry! He’s hungry!” trying to be heard over Sunny’s and Louise’s crying. It was all I could think of to do.

The woman came forward and said, “We have formula.”

“I’ll just take him back here to the bedroom and nurse him right quick,” I said.

“You can sit down here and do it,” she said.

“Please,” I said. “I need privacy.” I turned to the policeman. He had kinder eyes.

“All right,” he said. “Go on.” Then he looked at her. “I’ll wait outside the door.”

I was fixing to bust out fighting again. But then I remembered how awful it was for me and Johnny, seeing Mama go wild. I didn’t want to mark Sunny like Mama done me. I forced myself to be calmer. The policeman followed me down the hall. I thought of the window again, wondering if I could make it to the ground without hurting Sunny. But Mr. Thompson was right. I couldn’t go on the run with such a small baby. I was cornered. My mind went blank. I went in Zelda’s bedroom and shut the door in the policeman’s face. Under the lamp on the nightstand, Sunny’s hair was even more yellow. I held him and gave him my breast. At home I nursed him all through the nights. I didn’t wear anything so he could find my breast in the dark. I knowed they’d put a bottle in his mouth, after I had tried to make sure no rubber nipple ever touched it. I knowed my breasts would get hard and leaky when he was gone. I vowed not to cry in front of them people.

Then I seen the scissors glinting on the nightstand. They was laying on top of a stack of bright colored coupons. I reached over and took the scissors in one hand. The other hand was curled around Sunny’s bottom. He was sleeping as he drunk from me. His long eyelashes made shadows on his soft round cheeks. I dipped my head to smell of him and went to the end of the bed. It creaked when I set down. That’s the same sound the bed made at home when I bounced Sunny. We’d bounce up and down when he got fussy, until pretty soon both of us was smiling. The scissors shined when I brought them close to Sunny’s head. He liked anything shiny. I looked at all that pretty yellow hair. I could hear the policeman pecking on the bedroom door. I knowed I would have to do it fast.