Sheng Keyi - Northern Girls - Life Goes On

As she reached the first floor, the lift opened to deposit the next batch of sickly people at their destination. A familiar face with high cheekbones and tiny eyes was among them. The face was covered in a layer of skin deadened by acne. The hair was now cut short and the stomach protruded, though not necessarily in a way that indicated that she was pregnant. Yet, somehow, one could tell she was expecting at a mere glance.

‘Zhang Weimei!’ Xiaohong called.

The pregnant woman turned and saw Xiaohong and was so surprised she nearly dropped the box of medicine she was carrying. She looked like she wanted to hide. Xiaohong caught her and said, ‘You’re married!’

Weimei smiled reluctantly. A man of thirty or forty stood behind her, a vacant look on his face.

‘Your husband?’ Xiaohong whispered.

She shook her head.

‘Let’s go and get something to drink and have a chat.’

Meeting Weimei now, Xiaohong felt very warm towards her. She would never have expected this herself, nor would she have imagined Weimei would be so annoyed to see her. She would have hoped at least to provoke a trace of happiness. Xiaohong could not quite tell what she was thinking, so she grabbed the other girl’s hand and took her to the canteen.

‘They’re… big!’ Weimei hesitated a moment, but still went ahead and said it.

‘They’ve grown a lot. A real burden. I had them examined. It’s breast hyperplasia. I have to take medicine for it.’

‘I see. How’re Wu Ying and everyone? Still working at the Qianshan Hotel?’

‘Nah. Wu Ying got divorced then went to work in a factory. I haven’t heard from her in quite a while. Ah Xing’s a mother now. And married to Li Xuewen, of course.’

‘Mm-hm.’

‘You got your residency card settled?’

‘Nope. Can’t afford it.’

‘Even with that twenty thousand Hong Kong dollars?’

‘What twenty thousand? Where do you think I picked up twenty thousand from?’

‘That day when the cops investigated, they said it was twenty thousand.’

‘They’re full of crap. There was less than eight thousand.’

‘So little? That’s not even worth the trouble. Especially since you’ve had to stay in hiding for so long.’

‘There was over twenty thousand to begin with. But they took most of it and lost it gambling before I ever saw it. Anyway, I guess I should go. He’s waiting.’ Outside the window, the man of thirty or forty stood shifting his weight from one foot to the other, frequently looking at his watch. Weimei looked a little helpless.

‘Who is he, not your husband?’

‘No. I’m not married.’

‘The child’s his?’

‘I’ll give it to him when it’s born. He’ll pay me for it.’

‘You’re a surrogate for him?’

‘According to the ultrasound, it’s a boy. I’ll get twelve thousand kuai for it. The previous one was a girl. Only eight thousand.’

‘Weimei!’

‘Oh, it’s alright with me,’ she said quietly, putting a hand on the table to push herself up. She fiddled with her blouse, then stopped and said, ‘Ah Hong, would you be up for it? I can talk to him. You’re pretty. You’d fetch a higher price.’

Xiaohong immediately shook her head.

Weimei scrunched up her face, turning away awkwardly. Xiaohong watched her waddle out.

The girl disappeared from view.

IV

The sun seemed swollen as it dropped towards the horizon, like a head burying itself under a blanket. It had a choking effect, making even the trees and plants look heavy. People walking along the road squinted. Only, having left the hospital for good, Xiaohong felt like she was floating. Her breasts were like wings, bearing her up over the city to fly in the air above. A bird’s eye view spread out beneath her. The air was cold and the wind grazed her ear. She was like a mermaid, trailing her tail behind her as she floated.

Xiaohong grinned. Something salty trickled into the corner of her mouth. She wiped it away and found that she was covered in sweat. Her feet were still plodding forward at a steady pace, like an old beggar woman. She stopped on the pavement in the shade of a tree, using her hands to fan herself. She saw a bus stop about five hundred metres away. Five hundred metres! But honestly, even if it was just five metres, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to make it. She couldn’t carry on, couldn’t manage to move those two sacks of rice any further. She no longer thought of them as breasts, but as two beggar’s sacks, waiting to be filled up with life and achievement. They were not a source of happiness or pleasure. They just kept weighing her down, pulling her down towards the ground. She doggedly supported herself, not believing she could be crushed by parts of her own body. She had stopped caring long ago that no one touched them anymore. She didn’t bother about them any more than she did her feet, coldly ignoring them. And she didn’t even mind about those men who had climbed upon them. She only minded that they were still growing.

Why did they just keep growing?

It was only half-an-hour’s bus journey to Li Sijiang’s, but it was more trying than travelling from Hunan to Shenzhen. She stopped her flight, descending to earth once again so she could board the minibus.

As she boarded, her right leg got caught in the door as it closed behind her. She thought that, with a bit of effort, she could force it free, making it keep up with the left leg as normal, and go and find a seat. But, after several tugs on it, she realised that each pull was weaker than the last. The people at the bus stop behind her just stared up at her arse, pressed up against the glass door of the bus and twisting this way and that, her left leg jerking inside her oversized trousers as she turned her hips. She just could not free it from the door.

Finally, a kind man behind her gave her a push and she managed to get on to the bus. As she moved along the bus, she saw there was no seat. Breathing heavily, she leaned against the back of a seat and wiped the sweat away. When the bus moved, she began to shake badly. To be more accurate, it was her breasts that quivered badly, as if they’d come to life. Xiaohong was shoved further down the bus. She planted her feet firmly on the floor, one hand grasping the pole. But in the end, she could no longer hold on. When the bus accelerated again, she fell, breasts first, against the man who was sitting in front of her. He stood up, primly offering her his seat. She had never felt such sweltering heat. She sat, putting her breasts on her lap and wiping her sweat. Her clothes were soaked.

The gate at Li Sijiang’s apartment was not locked. Xiaohong leaned against the wall and weakly knocked on the door. She thought Sijiang would open it immediately and offer her a cup of water to gulp down. After her bus ride in the heat, she felt she would die of thirst.

But no one answered.

She knocked again. Still no one answered. Xiaohong felt something was wrong. She pressed her face up against the window. Through the glass, she saw Sijiang lying on the bed. Her hands and feet were spread out, rigid. She looked dead.

‘Li Sijiang! Open up!’ Xiaohong beat on the door with all her might. She banged on the window, but Sijiang was motionless. Xiaohong’s head was swimming as she tried to force the window open. She shouted for help. A few blue collar workers rushed over from the neighbouring flat. They smashed the window and climbed in.

For a moment, Xiaohong was not even sure this girl was Sijiang. Her face was similar to Sijiang’s, but it was long, not round. The lips were pale, the face blanched. Blood ran constantly from her left wrist. Her tiny eyes were like a thread. She opened them a moment.

‘Sijiang! What have you done? Fuck!’ Xiaohong saw that familiar pair of eyes and she could not keep from swearing and crying. Someone wrapped Sijiang’s wound and several people rushed her to the hospital. Xiaohong’s tears flowed down her face. Her heart broke, shattered, splattering like a pile of pig manure dropped on the road.