Sheng Keyi - Northern Girls - Life Goes On

‘No! What do you need to rape a prostitute for? Just give her money and you can have your way.’

‘It’s not that simple. Could be he did it and didn’t want to pay so the hooker objected. Anyway, he got caught. What the circumstances surrounding it were, I don’t really know. I just heard that Youqing had some earrings that belonged to the dead hooker.’

‘Oh!’ It suddenly hit Xiaohong and she grabbed the three fingers Dr Chen was pressing against her breast, saying, ‘You mean Julia Wilde’s murderer has been caught?’

‘Ah Hong, what’re you so excited for? You mean to say that prostitute was a friend of yours?’ She extracted her three fingers from Xiaohong’s grip and pulled out the mammogram reader. She looked at it for about ten seconds then turned it off.

‘Anything wrong?’ Xiaohong did not understand the grey lumps she had seen on the screen.

‘Nah. You’re alright. A bit of breast hyperplasia. I’ll give you a prescription for some medicine you can take. Make it a habit to do some massaging before you go to bed and then again when you get up. That’ll increase the blood circulation. When you bathe, make sure you scrub yourself thoroughly.’ From Dr Chen’s reply, it seemed as if she had seen a lot of such cases.

‘Dr Chen, do you think they’re a lot bigger than before? Will they just go on growing and growing like this? That’s too scary to think of!’ Xiaohong didn’t quite trust the machine and she was also a little sceptical about Dr Chen.

‘Ah Hong, you’ve got quite an imagination. That’s just an old wives’ tale. You think they’ll grow so much they’ll be like sacks of rice? If that ever happens, you’ll certainly make the news! Silly girl.’

Dr Chen said the final two words in a drawling Cantonese. Amused, Xiaohong punched her playfully, saying, ‘Give me a cheaper, more effective cure. If you can save me a little money that would be best.’

II

The fellow with big feet was mysterious. His senses were better than a dog’s. The previous time he had come to the hospital, he had caught Xiaohong on her birthday. Now, having just returned from the funeral, here he was again. She had spent half a day on the bus, then taken the overnight train. Her legs were sore and her bones ached. All she wanted to do was sleep as soon as her shift at the hospital finished. And yet, here stood Bigfoot, having gone to the publicity department looking for her again.

He ate half an apple, fidgeting constantly. He’d just begun his manoeuvres when Xiaohong said in an indifferent tone, ‘Please don’t come here looking for me anymore.’

‘Why?’ he asked incredulously. ‘You’ve changed!’ Frustration shaded his face.

‘No reason. And I haven’t changed. It’s no different from the way I slept with you without any reason. Whatever happens just happens. I don’t force myself to do anything.’

Xiaohong could not even really explain it to herself. Why had she gone to bed with Bigfoot so easily, without a second thought? It was as if she were as easy as a prostitute. But, in another sense, she wasn’t like a prostitute at all, in that she didn’t need anyone to give her money to do it.

Xiaohong really wanted to shed some light on the matter, but felt it was no use. Bigfoot would just give her a good scolding anyway. But then, hadn’t Xiaohong herself just said she was like a prostitute? What suitable words could he find to curse her after that? All the same, he did want to curse her.

‘Fuck! I’ve been duped!’ Humiliated, he tested the room’s floorboards, stomping up and down. ‘You women! Such bitches! You’re heartless!’ His gait was like Charlie Chaplin’s, though not quite as exaggerated.

Strangely, only now did Xiaohong take in Bigfoot’s appearance clearly for the first time. She looked at him carefully. This was the third time she had seen him since they had met. After they had parted on the previous two occasions, she had not been able to recall what he looked like, no matter how hard she tried. Even the feeling of him against her body was only a vague impression. She had never given him a serious thought. He had come to look for her again, which she found quite incredible. She really didn’t want him to come back. She didn’t want to carry on with him, so there was no reason for them to meet again.

‘Am I toying with you? Did that woman you lived with toy with you? Isn’t it you who didn’t want her? I haven’t played with your feelings at all. Did I ever say I loved you? Did I even say I wanted to fall in love with you, or to marry you?’ Xiaohong got more upset as she spoke. She felt the swelling of her breasts. They were tight and numb. She felt an urge to massage them.

Bigfoot still stood there staring at her, not moving. It seemed he could not make himself believe that this was actually happening.

‘Bitch! Bitch ! You’re all bitches!’ Bigfoot stomped as he cursed.

‘If you’re not leaving, I’ll go. When you do go out, please make sure you close the door behind you.’

Xiaohong turned to go, but as soon as she had spoken, Bigfoot manoeuvred his way in front of her and squeezed past. She heard the pounding of his feet as he ran down the stairs.

III

Xiaohong dragged her feet as she exited the publicity room. She leaned against the wall. It was cold. Her muscles seemed to latch onto it and she immediately felt more comfortable. She overheard the new girl in the publicity department saying, ‘Her waves are huge. When you men see such big waves, what do you think?’

Xia retorted, ‘When you see a strong, muscular guy, what do you think?’

The girl immediately responded, ‘I want to do him! I want to do it with him!’

Turning the corner, Xiaohong could not hear Xia’s response. As she started down the stairs, she noticed she had left a handprint in the dust on the handrail and that there was a thick layer of dust on her hand. So she kept hold of the handrail and walked down the stairs, revealing a freshly cleaned coat of red paint as she went.

Before Bigfoot had shown up, Xia had told her, ‘Personnel decisions were made by Dr Lei and the hospital — though Dr Lei isn’t here at the moment. If you want to change jobs, you’ll have to wait for him to come back or until a new chairman takes office.’

Xia, that cocky bastard, looked at her helplessly. She was on the verge of blowing the whistle on him and Youqing but her swelling bust always seemed to hurt more when she got angry, so she dropped it. She tried to keep herself calm.

Xiaohong realised that Dr Lei and Xia had ganged up on her and she had been taken in. They had sent her down to the kitchen then conveniently arranged a replacement to come in and take her place, squeezing her out. And it was all because she had been appointed by Mr Liao, Dr Lei’s predecessor. With the change of regime, the fate of all the common workers and petty officials hung in the balance. When Mr Liao had been around, Xiaohong could jump from the reception desk to the publicity department, where she was in close contact with the powers that be, as well as staying in touch with the masses. When Dr Lei took office, Xiaohong had been relegated to a life of washing vegetables in the kitchen.

Finally, Xiaohong couldn’t stand it anymore. She thumped the desk but the sound was not very loud. She had not said a word, though in her heart she had roared furiously, If I’m gonna wash vegetables and dishes, why the hell don’t I just go back to washing scalps? And you lot who are just wolves in sheep’s clothing, what’ll come of you? Xia, you’ve backed the wrong horse. If you think Dr Lei’s coming back here to be hospital chairman again, you really are an idiot! As for that pervert, if he doesn’t get executed, it’ll be a waste of the justice system. Xiaohong’s breasts quaked, undulating under her blouse like stones falling in a landslide.