Regan Wolfrom - Catholic Guilt and the Joy of Hating Men

“You’re drunk,” he said. He invited himself to sit at the dinette, frowning at the six crumpled cans of beer. And then he started to eat the leftover pasty.

“I’m not drunk,” I said. “I’m just waking up, asshole.”

“I needed to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m not okay. My creepy old uncle decided to wake me up in the middle of the night.”

“Did you go to that party last night?”

“What party?”

“At Horny Rich’s trailer. A couple girls went missing.”

“Went missing? If only the police had trained a pair of vomit-sniffing dogs.”

“I’m serious,” he said. “They found one of the girls’ handbags.”

“Okay…”

“There was blood on it.”

I was starting to understand why he was there. It was kind of sweet.

“I’m okay,” I said. “Now you know.”

“You should come stay with us.”

“I’m okay. Whatever happened to those girls didn’t happen to me.”

“Please, Ness.”

“Don’t worry so much. I wasn’t drunk. And I won’t be drunk anytime soon. And I’ll stay out of the woods… and I’ll stay away from strange men who reek of drunk girls.”

He shook his head at me. He knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t about to change my mind.

Once he was gone I got dressed and went out for a walk in the woods. That was the quickest way to get to Quinn’s trailer.

I found Quinn halfway along the trip, walking through the trees in the opposite direction. He was dressed like it was a lot colder out, with a heavy coat and long and shiny-black gloves.

“Where ya going?” I asked as we came up to each other.

“To find you,” he said. “I was worried.”

“What is it about me that every man in my life assumes I’ll be the next murder victim?”

“What murder?” He sounded genuinely surprised.

“Didn’t you run into any police?”

“I thought there was another break-in. Or maybe that Horny Rich finally tried to make his move on one of the new girls and got himself stabbed or something.”

“Two missing girls,” I said. “And blood.”

His face changed. He had started to look worried, for real.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“We should get back to your trailer.”

I wasn’t sure what he really wanted to do in my trailer.

Danger.

I wasn’t scared.

“I’m out of beer,” I said.

“We need to hurry.”

He grabbed my hand with his glove and started moving again, picking up the pace by quite a bit.

We reached my camper and I unlocked the door.

“I’ll go in first,” he said. “Wait here.”

I didn’t argue, although I wondered why whatever monster he was now chasing would be hiding in my camper when I’d been alone in the woods a few minutes before.

“Come in,” he said. “It’s safe.”

I walked in.

Quinn locked the door to the camper.

I felt my stomach growl. I started wishing my uncle hadn’t stolen my last pasty.

We sat down at my table again, but the romance was dead. Especially since he was still wearing his jacket and goddamn butcher gloves.

“I need to do something,” Quinn said. “Something you won’t like.”

“Not the best come-on I’ve heard.”

“There is a young man who’s been following me. He’s been… I guess ‘obsessed’ is the best way to put it.”

“Teenage boy with fake fangs?”

“So he’s been talking to you.”

“Not just talking. He came after me a few hours ago.”

Quinn sighed. “I’m sorry, Vanessa. I should have done something about this before. I should have realized that the boy is unbalanced.”

“I’m okay.”

“He’s dangerous. I know that now. I think he attacked those girls tonight.”

“I doubt it.” It wasn’t that I didn’t think the boy had a mean streak; I hadn’t forgotten the part where he tried to squeeze my windpipe until I passed out. It was more that I doubted he’d be able to take those girls on with his piss-poor hunting skills. They would’ve had to be really, really… really drunk.

“You are very special to me, Vanessa. I don’t want him to hurt you.”

“I’m fine. If you really believe that kid is dangerous, you should be talking to the police. I don’t do a lot of crime-solving these days, you know. I mostly dive for pearls for slightly more than minimum wage.”

I felt his hand on my thigh again, or his glove, at least. It gave me a cold chill. Something felt wrong.

“I’ve been watching over you for a long time,” he said. “Ever since you arrived here.”

It sounded like he’d been taking lessons on being creepy from the pervy kid.

“Are you high or something?” I asked.

“I took care of Anastasia for you. You hated her, so I sent her away. And I did the same to Sandra… just so you’d be happy… so you wouldn’t leave us.”

“You’re telling me that fucking Anastasia in the woods was doing me some kind of solid?”

And Sandra? Eew.

“I’ll get rid of this kid, too.”

That was a good way to clue me in that we hadn’t been talking about the same thing.

I felt his grip hardening on my leg.

“Did you kill those girls tonight?” I asked.

“That boy killed those girls. I’ll protect you from him.”

“You’re really freaking me out. I don’t get the joke here. I really don’t.”

“I’m going to find that boy and I’m going to slit his throat. Is that clear enough?”

“No… please don’t. If you love me, you’ll leave him alone.”

Quinn started to laugh. “Love you? Really? That’s what you think this is?”

That hurt.

“You really don’t know what I am,” he said.

But I did know. I’d known all along, or at least part of me did. And I’d taken those quivers and whispers for some kind of kinky attraction when I should have taken them for fear. “You’re a spirit wolf,” I said. “And that poor kid thinks he’s a wolf, too.”

“That poor kid, huh? He killed those girls because he wants to be like me.”

“So you’re going to kill him. And then what are you going to do with me?”

“I’ve waited for two years, Vanessa. I’ve waited long enough. I’m going to take you tonight. I’m going to take you and then I’ll bury you under the trailer. Right between Anastasia and Sandra.”

“That won’t work,” I said, having trouble even moving my lips. “You won’t get away with it.”

“I know. That’s why I’ve waited so long. The time has never been right. No one cared about Anastasia; she was just a stupid little whore who wandered into camp for a few weeks. And no one even knew Sandra was here aside from the two of us.”

“And my uncle.”

“I doubt it.”

“But my uncle knows about me. He knows I wouldn’t just disappear. And now with those two girls missing…”

He shook his head. “I know, Vanessa. Even after I kill you and your family, I’ll still have ruined my life here. I won’t be able to stay. And I won’t be able to start over as a carnival freak somewhere else. I’ll have to get a job at a fucking call center.” He smiled. “But you’re worth it. And I get to kill a nice handful of other people while I’m at it.”

I couldn’t hear my goddess. I was too frightened. Was she still with me? Would she take over the moment my blood was spilled?

“I am more powerful than you,” I said. “I will kill you.”

“Bullshit. You’ve heard too many fairy tales. Do you think you’re the first goddess I’ve killed?”

I wanted to scream. “You don’t know me.”

Where was my goddess?