Tie Ning - The Bathing Women

Wan Meicheng came to Youyou’s Small Stir-Fry as they agreed, and Tiao watched her as she crossed the street. She wore the straw hat with Persian chrysanthemums and had on a white skirt like the one Tiao used to have. All this made Tiao feel as if she had another self. Didn’t Wan Meicheng and she look a little like each other? She remembered reading somewhere that if a man had been married twice, his two wives, no matter how different from each other they looked, must have some similarities that ordinary people couldn’t discern.

In what way did they resemble each other? Could it have something to do with the silent, scentless Persian chrysanthemums?

4

“How are you going to drink the liquor, cups or glasses?” Tiao asked Wan Meicheng.

“How do you want to drink it?” Wan Meicheng asked.

Youyou brought them a bottle of Five Grain Liquor and Wan Meicheng said, “Good, Five Grain Liquor is perfect. Out of all the kinds of liquor, Chen Zai drinks only Five Grain, right, Tiao?” She looked at Tiao, and her nostrils started to flare again.

Tiao said nothing, but she agreed silently. Chen Zai just loved to drink Five Grain Liquor and had almost succeeded in teaching her to like it, too. But she didn’t want to start their discussion with this subject. Two women talking about the habits of the man who had been intimate with both embarrassed Tiao, and she worried that it might be painful to Wan Meicheng.

Wan Meicheng said, “We can drink out of a teacup, or the rice bowls. I remember, in a movie that had a farewell scene for a hero, they all used rice bowls for liquor. No one used those little wineglasses.”

Youyou said, “Teacher Wan, we aren’t heroes and none of us can hold our liquor very well. Let’s not use rice bowls.” Youyou’s daughter was a student at Wan Meicheng’s school, so Youyou addressed her as Teacher Wan.

Wan Meicheng said, “No, we’re not heroes, we’re … heroines, not to mention the fact that I’m really leaving, off to the wars. Youyou, bring out your bowls, pour us the liquor.”

Youyou took out three rice bowls and poured the bottle into the three bowls, and the odour immediately assailed their noses.

Wan Meicheng raised her bowl first, playing the hostess, and said, “Cheers.”

But Tiao and Youyou didn’t move; they had both heard Wan Meicheng say that she was leaving. Tiao asked, “Where do you plan to go, Wan Meicheng?”

“I plan to quit my teaching job and go to Gabon. My uncle sells clothes in the capital, Libreville, and needs a helping hand. He wants me to come and I want to go, too.”

Tiao said, “You mean you’re going to leave China? I thought you were going off to another city on some personal errand.”

“I didn’t intend to mention it today. Why should I talk about myself? Tiao, what’s your relationship with me? Unlike you and Youyou — you’re friends — we have none. And Youyou, neither do we — I’m just your daughter’s art teacher. It’s nobody’s business that I’m going to Gabon. I could just slip away quietly, but human beings all have their weaknesses. I want to be generous but I can’t quite manage it. Tiao, the closer I’ve got to you, the more pain I’ve felt, but the more pain, the more I’ve wanted to see you. You’re the only bridge between Chen Zai and me. Are you afraid? Don’t be, I’m going away, aren’t I? I know I can’t go on like this anymore. One day I read a book that asked what the most intact thing in the world was, and the answer was that nothing is more intact than a broken heart. Everyone says books lie, but I don’t think so. When you’re most desperate, one line in a book could be a straw to clutch when you’re drowning, and even though it’s just a straw, it’s made me understand that I’m not that bad, but that I can’t keep pestering you like this, Tiao. Come on, let’s drink!”

Wan Meicheng picked up the bowl with both her hands and took a swig of Five Grain Liquor. Then she put down the bowl and asked, “None of you want to drink? I’ll drink by myself.” She took another gulp.

Tiao and Youyou picked up their bowls and drank. Neither of them could say anything to Wan Meicheng’s announcement. They could neither encourage her to leave nor convince her to stay. Tiao, particularly, felt that whatever she said to Wan Meicheng would seem cruel. No matter what she said, she’d just look like someone who was simply standing back to enjoy the commotion. As she kept drinking, she could only tell Wan Meicheng, “I never thought you were pestering me. Please don’t say that.”

Wan Meicheng sneered. “Tiao, this is where you’re a hypocrite. Do you really like me to be so close to you? When you heard that I was going to go as far as Gabon, you must have felt great relief deep in your soul. Only, the you on the surface still can’t face your soul, so you feel guilty about me. You’re not really sorry. It’s just how you were brought up. Do you think my words make … any sense … sense …”

Wan Meicheng was now blind drunk, reeling drunk, and she slumped to the table. Youyou called for a taxi and took her home with Tiao.

It was the first time that Tiao had entered Chen Zai’s previous home, which was a mess, an embarrassing state caused by the mistress’s neglect. They helped get Wan Meicheng into her bedroom and onto the bed. Tiao saw their large bed. Even though Chen Zai was long gone, two pillows still lay side by side. A crumpled bath towel was spread loosely over the right side of the bed, and the left side must have been reserved by Wan Meicheng out of habit. Man on the left side and woman on the right. Tiao knew Chen Zai preferred the left. It seemed Wan Meicheng would never sleep in the middle of the bed, even though Chen Zai was never going to come back. Now, even drunk, Wan Meicheng lay down on the right side of the bed. To look at this large bed that Wan Meicheng didn’t want to be faced with made Tiao especially sad.

She and Youyou closed the door and went to the street. They stood in the summer evening breeze for a while and then walked together to the Design Academy. They hadn’t walked side by side for a long, long time, and it felt like going back to old times, to their teenage years — on their shoulders, canvas backpacks with Chairman Mao’s Quotations inside, which included the words, “Revolution is not inviting friends to dinner.” It was when Youyou misquoted Chairman Mao that they’d got to know each other. At the time, inviting friends to dinner was their shared obsession. Further and further they kept walking into the Design Academy grounds. When they passed the awful manhole, they pretended not to see it. They finally entered the small garden and found a bench to sit down. Tiao said, “Youyou, I feel very sad.”

Youyou said, “Is it because of Wan Meicheng?”

“Not exactly.”

“When are you and Chen Zai going to get married?”

“Maybe in the autumn, when he’s finished the project he’s been working on.”

“Of the three of us — Fei, you, and me — you’ve been the happiest.”

“What do you think happiness is?”

Youyou said, “Happiness is when you feel happy.”

Tiao smiled. This was the reason that she had liked Youyou all her life. Whether Youyou felt happy or not herself, she could always make Tiao feel happy and at ease. This was the most precious part of Tiao’s life — her friends. This childhood friend of hers, Youyou, was always ready to help Tiao, and never judged her.

“Am I wrong?” Youyou asked.

“Someone said to me once, happiness is to be in your hometown, holding your sweetheart’s hand, and eating your favourite food! By that measure, you’re the happiest of us.”

Youyou said, “I haven’t read any books for a long time, but I think the lines that Wan Meicheng quoted were very true. It’s human nature to pursue the intact, but the most intact thing in the world is nothing but a broken heart. Tiao, my heart has never been broken. I’m a pool of stagnant water. When we were little, when we set up our banquets at home, I believed the thing that would make me happiest was to become a chef. Now I own a restaurant, but I don’t feel happy. Of course, I don’t feel unhappy, either. That’s what I meant by a pool of stagnant water.”