Tie Ning - The Bathing Women

Progress in China and change in Fuan made Fan almost lose her appetite for describing how advanced America was. Recently, David’s parents had invited their children to go to Ecuador to celebrate their golden wedding anniversary. They chartered a big cabin cruiser and more than twenty of them stayed on the boat for a week. Fan talked about Ecuador to Tiao, and Tiao talked about Jerusalem to her. In the last few years, Tiao had travelled abroad frequently, which surprised Fan and made her envious. She couldn’t call Tiao’s trips corruption, because all of them had something to do with publishing, either collaborating with foreign publishers or attending international conferences. She always remembered to buy some little gift for Fan even though she knew that Fan didn’t want for anything. It was just a long-established habit; she had an unbreakable attachment to this sister who had become more and more difficult. She saved the gifts and waited for Fan to come back to show her. Tiao was especially pleased with an Italian Trinity gold bracelet that she’d bought in Tel Aviv, and a British linen sun hat purchased from Marks & Spencer, Hong Kong. Indeed, Fan liked these things very much, but felt some disappointment. She’d thought it would be the other way round, that she would be the one to bring her family exclusive items, and that only she would be able to bring back from abroad fine things to which her family would have no access. But now it was the opposite. Then what was the significance of her going to America? Why did she have to live among Americans?

She seldom allowed herself this sort of thinking, resisting any hint of self-doubt. Then she discovered that the water pressure in the showerhead in Tiao’s bathroom was too weak, suspecting a showerhead with such small volume simply couldn’t clean her hair, and there was also the water quality. She complained that the water in Fuan was too hard, which was particularly damaging to long hair. Moving close to Tiao, shaking that precious long hair of hers in front of Tiao, she said, “Feel it. You feel it. My hair doesn’t feel like this when I’m in America. That’s right. The water in America is very good. In my house, we have a wood-lined room especially used for saunas, and there’s always enough water pressure.” At last she’d found a reason to put down China. Reluctantly, Tiao touched Fan’s hair, and said, “I think your hair feels fine. I can’t feel any difference.”

“How could you tell the difference? You’ve always lived in the same place.”

“Yes, I have lived in the same place. This is my home. Where else would I live if not here? You just happen to live somewhere else.”

So, once again, an argument started, and emotions ran high in both of them. Perhaps Tiao should have been conciliatory; after all, Fan was her guest. But, feeling Fan’s nitpicking was simply ungrateful, she got a little stubborn. Fan said, “I noticed long ago you’re the kind of person that can’t stand to be criticized. The problem is, how did I criticize you? I was talking about the water.”

Tiao said, “The water has always been like that. Why didn’t you bring some water softener with you when you came back? Or just bring your own water, like Queen Elizabeth does — too bad you’re not a queen yet. Spare me the big performance.”

“You think this is a performance? It’s your vanity that can’t take it, right? Now that you’re the vice director of the Publishing House, you want me to act the brown-nose around you, like your colleagues and subordinates? Don’t forget how you got into the Publishing House. If Fei hadn’t sold herself for you, you would still be eating chalk dust and teaching high school. What messy relationships you have. That filled me with disgust whenever I thought about it.”

“You can leave if you’re so disgusted,” Tiao said.

“All right.” Fan packed up her stuff and actually left. “Fine …”

They didn’t talk to each other at all the next year. Yixun and Wu blamed Tiao for trading darts back and forth with Fan; when the sisters argued, they always sided with Fan. “Let her have her way” was their unalterable principle. They never thought of Tiao and Fan as two adults, who therefore needed to control their emotions and deal respectfully with each other. Instead they would always say, “Let her have her way. Let her have her way.” What did they know? Tiao looked at her parents quietly, her heart filled with an undefined sadness.

So Yixun made an international phone call to Fan. Pretending nothing had happened, he said, “Fan, why haven’t you called us? We all miss you very much.”

Fan said, “Why do I always have to call you? You can also call me. Is that so difficult?”

“Didn’t you tell us that phone calls in America were much cheaper than here?” Yixun said.

“It still costs something even though it’s cheap. Besides, you have money yourself. If you don’t even want to pay for phone calls, how can you claim to miss me …?”

Tiao was present during Yixun’s conversation with Fan, and it made her sad and angry the way Fan talked back to Yixun like that. Let the facts speak for themselves. Let facts change her parents’ principle of “let her have her way.”

What else did she need to do to “let her have her way”? She was angry. But, as with Yixun’s treatment of Wu, the deepest guilt came in the moment Tiao most resented Fan. Really it was a guilt beyond words, with no causality or logic involved. In short, she felt guilty and finally called Fan. She told her sister that she would be going to America to attend a conference. Would Fan be in America then? If so, she wanted to see her very much.

She flew to Chicago from Minneapolis after the conference and they met in America. It was in early winter, and Chicago was windy, but what a refreshing wind, chilling people to the bone, but waking them up completely. The dazzling gold of the fallen leaves all around Lake Michigan also left a deep impression on Tiao — they were not withered or crunching underfoot, either, because every one of them was soft, shining, supple, with a delicate sheen, like silk, gathered there like a silent carnival.

Fan showed her hospitality beyond expectations; maybe she wanted to make up for her spiteful departure the previous year. When she was far from China and reflecting on those hurtful words she’d hurled at Tiao, she must have had some bad moments. She hugged her sister enthusiastically, and when they got home and Tiao took out the Italian Trinity gold bracelet and the linen sun hat that Fan had purposely left behind, she cried, and Tiao also cried. Their tears were genuine at that moment, and washed away the ice in their hearts, both the old and the new. Fan gave her a house tour and showed Tiao to her room. Her cat, a large white animal called White Goat, appeared then and clumsily rolled over in front of Tiao, welcoming her. Although she didn’t really like cats, not to mention the fact that he was shedding, Tiao felt obliged to please Fan, and, pretending to be charmed, reached out to scratch his chin. She knew Fan didn’t like cats, either, but David did. His preference dictated hers, so she liked the cat unconditionally.

Tiao could stay in Chicago for only two days, and after that she had to go to Austin, Texas, for a few days. A friend had invited her, she told Fan. “Two days isn’t enough,” Fan said. But at least they would have those two days to spend together. Fan requested two days off from her company and told everyone that she needed the time because her sister was coming to visit. Her childhood attachment to her sister seemed to come back; she still missed Tiao in a way she didn’t even understand herself.

She took Tiao to the mall, and they bought things for each other at Macy’s. Tiao got her a long windbreaker, she got Tiao a leather handbag, and then they bought things for Yixun and Wu. Unlike Tiao, Fan wasn’t very interested in shopping, and she had to summon tremendous patience to accompany Tiao. When they got tired, they would go to a coffee shop to sit and get something to drink or eat. They went to the store’s bathroom together while an American woman, who had apparently been holding herself in with some difficulty, rushed in and farted loudly. They couldn’t help exchanging a glance and smiling. Fan said, “There are a lot of these vulgar types in the States.”