Tie Ning - The Bathing Women

It was flattery, and Yu Dasheng was well aware of it. Still, he couldn’t have been prepared to have a strange, pretty female of such a young age come and flatter him so obviously for no apparent reason. Compared to the women in the factory with whom he usually dealt, Fei was much prettier, and also more educated. She used the word “confidence,” which the workers here seldom used. It was a good word, even though it implied familiarity. But to be trusted by people was a pleasant feeling, so Yu Dasheng told Fei, “In that case, you can come to my office with me. I can listen to your report.”

They went to Yu Dasheng’s office. Yu Dasheng sat behind his desk and Fei chose a seat near the door. Yu Dasheng said, “Okay, what would you like to talk about?”

Fei cleared her throat and said, “It’s like this … Oh, right. I forgot to tell you my name, which is Tang Fei. I always pay very close attention when you give a speech, because you speak Beijing dialect. You’re a Beijinger, right? So am I. I’m pretty sure we’re fellow Beijingers.”

“Yes, I’m a Beijinger,” Yu Dasheng said. “You just said your name was Tang Fei, so your family name is Tang?”

“Yes, my family name is Tang, a very common family name.”

“Can you tell me what you want to report?” Yu Dasheng calmly put the conversation back on track.

Fei said with determination, “It’s actually about my own situation. I want to change jobs. I work in the foundry department … I’m sure you know how dirty and exhausting the job is. The working class shouldn’t be afraid of dirty, hard work, but my skin is allergic. I get an allergic reaction as soon as I walk into the workshop.”

Yu Dasheng gazed at the smooth-skinned girl, with her healthy complexion, and said, “I understand your situation, but I’m afraid I can’t change jobs for you as you ask. There are so many workers in the factory. What would other people say if I go and assign you another job?”

“You probably don’t believe my skin is allergic. Let me show you my arm …” She stood up from her chair and walked quickly to the desk, moving close to Yu Dasheng and rolling up her sleeve for him. On her forearm, along with the visible traces of light purple blood vessels, there were indeed two penny-sized, slightly swollen red ulcers, caused by aspirin. When she’d gone to the factory clinic for these ulcers, the doctor had already told her to stop taking the painkillers because she might be allergic to aspirin. Now she was trying to blame her allergies on the foundry department with the evidence of these few small spots. Shouldn’t she be given a transfer to some other place, when her arm was so badly affected? The foundry department might cause her whole arm to rot off if she stayed there. Emboldened, and with the help of the ulcers on her forearm, she moved even closer to Yu Dasheng. Almost leaning her body against him, and at the same time bending over slightly, she put her afflicted arm on the desk in front of him, her damp hair brushing tantalizingly against his ears. For a few seconds of stillness, she felt the way both she and Yu Dasheng stared at the arm she’d laid on the desk. Concluding that Director Yu had no intention of avoiding her, Fei grew daring now, thinking it was possible for her to seize the chance and sit on his lap, just by pretending to stagger and plunging forward. She put her little trick into practice and sat smoothly onto his lap, only to be picked up immediately. His actions with her could be best described by the phrase “picked up.” Although she was above and he was below, she still had a feeling of being picked up — always embarrassing and undignified to have that done by someone. She didn’t remember how she got picked up, only the result. With one hand gently pushing her elbow, he sent her back to her chair by the door and then returned to his behind the desk. “You are still a child,” he said, deliberately, one word after another.

She was so ashamed that she couldn’t say a word. She hadn’t felt shame for a long time — Director Yu forced her to be reacquainted with it, but deep down she refused to admit defeat. However, the courage to continue to sit there left her.

A strong sense of failure settled in her after she returned to her dorm. “You are still a child”—these words of Director Yu’s went round and round in her mind. He was probably forty-something, old enough to be her father. Of course he could say, “You are still a child.” It was more like subtle urging than a reprimand or a shaming. But at the time Fei was unable to understand the implication. She believed she was no longer a child; she had long ago stopped being a child. She was an adult, the head of her own family; she was mother to herself and father to herself, her own master. “You are still a child.” Such words were not offensive to her; they were just too light, too easily said, and could no longer move Fei. Director Yu could embarrass her but he couldn’t repress her desire to leave the foundry. He didn’t fall for her ploy, but she was determined not to lose this one-in-a-million chance.

She remembered that Shanghai Coral Jewel watch, the keepsake that the dancer had left, which she had been keeping as property she might use as a last resort. She thought it over and over and asked herself numerous times: Is this my last resort? Yes, she answered herself every time. Only leaving the foundry as soon as possible would enable her to keep her looks, her beauty, and her youth, to which she was so attached. Because she loved her looks so much, she must offer the watch. She was indeed still a child, believing that just because she thought the watch was valuable property, everyone else thought so too. She took out the watch, carefully cleaned it with a handkerchief, and wound it. Then she walked into Director Yu’s office again with the quietly ticking watch, intending to give him the precious watch in exchange for the favour of getting her transferred.

When she first pushed open the door, there were a few people talking to Director Yu in loud voices, so she closed the door and wandered around outside for a while. When she returned, he was alone. She entered the office, walked directly to his desk, took out the watch, and put it down. Director Yu said, “Whose watch is this?”

Fei said, “Oh, it’s mine … no, it’s yours.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s yours — I’m giving it to you. Can’t you see this is a man’s watch? I’m a woman. It doesn’t suit me.”

Director Yu asked, “Who put you up to this?”

“No one.”

“What do you mean by ‘no one’?”

“I mean no one. Nobody.”

Director Yu took the watch, looked at it, and then put it back on the desk. He stood up and turned his back to Fei and said, “Now please take this watch and leave my office.”

So he didn’t go for this, either.

It made her angry and suspicious. She was thinking that he couldn’t possibly be a man who didn’t go for anything. He’d probably rejected her because he’d heard a lot of gossip about her, things she had done in high school, which had long ago circulated around the whole factory. She even heard two workers betting on her. One said, “If you can fuck that girl Fei from the foundry, I’ll buy you a pack of cigarettes.” The other said, “Oh, her. I’ve fucked her plenty. All I have to do is wave and she comes running …” Anytime they felt like it, they would make those bets; she became a plaything for them, a verbal outlet for the relief of their sexual tensions. She was sure that Director Yu had heard the gossip and was afraid to be associated with her. It would be his loss. Still, after all, he was the vice director of the factory, not Master Qi. Her dream of leaving the foundry had been thwarted, and in such an embarrassing way, being humiliated by a decent man at the same time. Her face turned cold. If her opponent was so decent, she had to show some indecency, meeting decency with indecency, as if they could at least reach a standoff and she could avoid such a thorough defeat. She raised her voice at the back of Director Yu and said, “You think I admire you for refusing the watch, right? Hmm, actually I think you’re a chicken. Your guts couldn’t fill a thimble. It’s not like you don’t want … a good-looking girl like me … you’re afraid I’ll get you dirty and spoil your reputation. You actually misjudge me. If you slept with me, I’d absolutely not tell a soul. I—”