Ivan Klima - The Ultimate Intimacy

Bara's speech is already becoming slurred and she is unable to find the English words, but she asks nevertheless whether it was the love that was matchless, loyal and inspirational, or Gala. Anselmo replies that it was both the love and that remarkable woman who, he now realizes, was Russian too.

The words 'Russian too' cut Bára to the quick. The demon had been in Prague which lay in Russia. But it's all right, at least she now has an excuse to accede to her son's wishes and walk out of this place. So she says that she must take her leave. She feels a touch of regret that she will never see this man again. The time between first acquaintance and love-making has lapsed and there is no returning, and it's all to the good, it has been a pleasantly exciting moment of freedom. She calls the waiter but the demon Anselmo will not hear of her paying. He thanks her for her pleasant company and a delightful evening which he hopes will not be the last. He will now drive Bára back to the hotel and tomorrow to the museum, and should she wish he will drive her and her son to Figueras or anywhere they fancy. He then presses his visiting card on Bára. Bára thanks him as warmly as she is able and allows him to kiss her hand. However, she refuses a lift back to the hotel, as she and her son want to walk a little more, but she gives Anselmo a hotel name, even though it is only the name of a hotel she happened to notice on the way to the Parque Giiell. She invents a room number and the poor demon carefully notes it down. In the doorway, Bára stops once more and turns to wave to the enthusiastic admirer of Dali.

'Don't be cross with me,' she says to Saša, when they emerge into the warm Barcelona night. 'Don't blame your old mother for flirting on her first evening in Gaudi's city.'

It is half-past one in the morning when they reach the hotel.

While Saša is having a wash, it crosses her mind that she could and should call Daniel. She'll tell him she met with Gaudi's ghost and a handsome, real live Catalan, who loves Dali and would no doubt have

loved her because he thinks she's a Russian like Gala. But Dan, she will say, I love you, only you, even here so far from you, and wherever I'll be, because you are the best person I have ever met. I've met so many people and there were many that I thought I loved, even though I didn't know what love meant until I met you. And she lifts the receiver which emits the long mournful tone. She forgets which is the number she is supposed to dial to get an outside line, and she has also forgotten the code for calling home. She'll have to ask Saša, he's bound to know, because he's young and only drinks orange juice last thing at night.

When Saša emerges from the bathroom, his mother is already asleep, holding in her hand the telephone receiver which emits a long, mournful tone.

5

It was night when Daniel reached home. Marek and Magda were already asleep and Hana was watching television. The surface of life seemed unruffled here. Hana hugged him. 'I'm glad you're back.'

'Where's Eva?'

'Upstairs in her room.'

'Have you talked about what she's going to do?'

'Naturally, but it'll be better if you talk to her yourself.'

He went upstairs and knocked on his daughter's bedroom door.

She was seated at her desk over an open book. Now she quickly pushed back her chair and got up. 'Hi, Dad. I didn't think you'd be back till tomorrow.'

'That was what I originally planned. But it didn't work out.'

'Are you cross with me?'

'I'm cross with myself, more than anything, for having brought him into the house.'

'But I love him.'

She was standing facing him and suddenly he had the feeling it was his first wife standing there. She used to speak to him in the same tone of voice: I love you. That was how old she was then. But hadn't he deserved her love? He had not been a blackguard. Not in those days, anyway.

'Are you sure, Eva?'

'About what?'

'That you're expecting his baby?'

'Yes.'

And that you love him?'

'I'm sure of that too.'

'Why?'

Silence.

There's no answer to that question. Whatever she said, it wouldn't explain anything anyway. If only he had that blackguard here right now!

'How did it happen?'

'The way things like this happen.'

'Thank you for your explanation. It isn't what I expected. It's not what I expected of you. How long is it now?'

'Three months almost. I was afraid to tell you. Besides which I was hoping it. . that it would go away.'

'Even if you loved him, what made you do that?'

'I was afraid he wouldn't love me any more if I didn't want to have anything to do with him.'

A fine sort of love if you have to fear for it like that.'

'When you love someone you want to be with them totally.'

'But he'll be found guilty and sent to prison. You won't be with him totally or even partly. You won't be together at all!'

'Maybe they won't find him guilty.'

'You know full well they will.'

'Maybe something could be done. .'

'Eva

'Yes, Daddy?'

'I thought and I believed that you'd finish at the Conservatoire. That you would play, and play really well, seeing that your mum didn't manage to.'

'I know, Daddy.'

'What do you want to do?'

About study?'

About study and life.'

'I don't intend to run away from my studies. They'll let me interrupt the course. For the birth.'

And what about Petr?'

'I'll wait for him,' she said, exactly as he expected. 'If Petr wants to, we'll get married. We can do that there, can't we?'

'If he wants to! I would have thought it was what you wanted that counts! You don't have to marry him. You don't have to marry him just because you're expecting his baby.'

'I want to marry him because I love him.'

'You can stay here with us,' he said, ignoring her answer, 'with the child too. You don't have to marry someone you know precious little about. Precious little good, at any rate.'

'He is good. He's just unfortunate, that's all.'

'Eva, you know very well how hard I try. I almost feel duty bound to believe that everyone is good and everyone can be reformed. But that man is so unfortunate, since you choose that expression, that he will bring misfortune to everyone around him.'

'No, he just needs to know that someone loves him.'

'But you loved him and look what happened.'

'He needed to earn some money.'

'He could have worked.'

'But he did.'

'For how long?'

'He had a debt to pay and apart from that — he needed money to get hold of…'

'What?'

'You know, Dad. Speed.'

'No, I didn't know. You knew but you didn't tell me. And in spite of that you wanted to have his baby and marry him?'

'I didn't want to have a baby. It just happened.'

'You must have been doing something that made it likely.'

'But I'm not trying to excuse myself.'

'Don't you realize the baby could be damaged?'

'It won't be, Dad. I don't take anything any more. Not since the time I told you.'

'But he was taking it. You say so yourself. And have you any idea at all what life with a drug addict would be like?'

'No,' she said stubbornly. 'I've no idea what sort of life to expect. No one knows what to expect. Nor what is good or bad for them.'

'This won't be good anyway.'

And do you think someone else would be better? People do far worse things than injecting themselves now and then.'

'Such as?'

'Stealing, lying, being cruel to each other.'

'Not everyone is like that.'

'Daddy, you know so very little about life.'

'Pètr told me the same.'

'Not long ago a boy told me that they should exterminate everyone who is defective. And also old people who are unable to work any longer.'

'Who was telling you that?'