Lynda Plante: The Talisman

Mr Taylor continued to work, ignoring Alex, who sat and looked around the comfortable office. The bookcases were crammed, in fact the whole room seemed to bulge at the seams with books on every available surface. There was an old couch close to the window which overlooked the playground. On the mantel a big, white-faced wooden clock ticked loudly. The scratching of Taylor’s pen continued as the minutes ticked on and on. Alex shuffled his feet and looked at the thick crop of hair bent over the books. Taylor finished his work, carefully replaced the cap on his pen, and stood up. He yawned and stretched, took off his glasses and set them down. Then he walked to the office door and locked it. Leaning against the door he smiled again, and rubbed his hands through his hair.

‘Going to ask a few questions, Stubbs, and I want you to answer them clearly and truthfully, understood?’

Alex nodded his head, and watched as Taylor returned to his desk and picked up a steel-edged ruler. He wondered why Mr Taylor had locked the door, but he straightened up and tightened his tie.

‘Right then, tell me if you have had any sexual relations to date?’

Alex gasped, he didn’t know what to say, and he blinked at his housemaster, who moved closer. Alex shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

‘What kind of an answer is that?’

Alex felt the stinging blow of the flat end of the ruler on the top of his head. Taylor repeated his question, and Alex ducked another blow.

‘I haven’t had any, sir.’

Taylor gave a weird, high-pitched laugh, and he stood in front of Alex, smirking into his face. ‘Don’t joke with me, sonny, it won’t wash. I want every detail and you’d better tell me — big boy like you, never had a woman, that right? That what you are trying to tell me?’

Alex looked nervously towards the door, and his head was jerked back by the hair as Taylor leered down at him. Alex couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Taylor went on about how he knew Alex was having an affair with Miss Walters, how he had seen Alex looking at her. He knew Alex fancied her and suspected that Alex had put his hand up Miss Walters’ skirt.

‘No sir, I swear, sir, I never.’

Taylor patted Alex’s cheek so hard that it hurt, patted it with the flat of the ruler. He pushed his face close, until Alex could smell his breath, then he hauled Alex to his feet by the back of his shirt collar. ‘So it’s not Miss Walters, all right then, which boy, come on, you’d better tell me, which boy have you been with?’

Alex tried to squirm away from Taylor’s grip, but Taylor kneed him from behind and he fell to the floor. He tried to crawl under the desk, but Taylor yanked him back and kicked hard so he curled up with a howl of pain.

‘What experiences have you had with men, Stubbs?’

Alex looked up from the floor and he could see the bulge in Taylor’s trousers as he stood with the ruler in one hand, the other buried deep in his trouser pocket. ‘Get up on your feet and sit over there, come on, get up, up.’

Alex huddled on the sofa, hugging his knees. He said he had had no sexual experience with men, but he had hardly finished the sentence when Taylor struck him again and sent him sprawling back on to the sofa. ‘You lying little bastard, if you don’t tell me the truth I’ll beat it out of you, so help me I will.’

This time Alex retaliated, putting his fists up to block the next punch, which seemed to infuriate Taylor even more. He lashed out at Alex again, knocking him to the floor. Alex felt his nose snap, and blood gushed on to the carpet, but try as he might he could not get up. Taylor sat astride him as though he were riding a horse.

‘You want to fight, do you, sonny lad? Well, fuck you, I’ll teach you not to answer me back, I’ll teach you.’

He rained blow after blow on Alex’s head until Alex thought he would pass out. He began to plead for Taylor to stop. Taylor was rubbing his bulging crotch up and down Alex’s back, his hands everywhere, his voice thick and hoarse. ‘Tell me, tell me what happened, I want to know what happened, what did he do to you?’

Alex was crying, and he blurted out that once, when he and his brother had been in bed together, they had played with each other. That was all, there had never been anyone else. Taylor rode him maniacally, demanding that Alex give him a full description of his brother and what they did together. Alex, his face pressed against the carpet, breathing in the dust and his own blood, was helpless. ‘I’ve never had any other experiences, sir, I swear it on my life... just with Eddie, my brother Eddie, that’s all, honest, sir.’

Taylor got off Alex’s back and bent to help him to his feet, took out a handkerchief and dipped it in a bowl of water, wiped Alex’s bloody nose. ‘Come on lad, stop crying, wipe your face, come along now.’

Alex was utterly confused about who was right and who was wrong. He believed he was in the wrong, he shouldn’t have fondled his brother and was being punished for it. Taylor led him to the couch and began to undo his shirt, gradually stripping him naked. Alex shivered from the cold and lay, terrified, doing nothing to stop Taylor, not knowing what to do.

‘Just have to examine you now, this is all part of the interview, now turn over, there’s a good boy.’

Alex could feel the hands caressing him, saw Taylor’s clothes dropping to the floor. Then Taylor lay on top of him, his hands everywhere, kissing and sucking Alex’s ears, his neck. Alex bit his lips to stop himself crying out. Taylor masturbated him, rolled him over and kissed his body, pushing his legs apart, kissing and sucking his penis. Alex wept, the tears running down his face, even when Taylor forced his own penis into the boy’s mouth.

Taylor leaned back, moaning with satisfaction, and suddenly Alex went crazy. Grabbing Taylor’s erect member, he wrenched with all his strength. Taylor screamed, and Alex brought his fist crashing down into the open mouth. He felt Taylor’s teeth cutting into his knuckles, but he brought his fist down time and time again, until he saw that his hands were covered with blood. He pushed Taylor’s unconscious body from him and watched as he crashed to the floor. Then he collected his clothes and dressed as fast as he could. He didn’t know if Taylor was alive or dead, and didn’t care. He quickly wiped his face and unlocked the door, locked it again behind him, threw the key away and ran to the dormitory.

He stuffed his few possessions into his haversack. A couple of other boys had seen him come in, but they turned away and went back to their game of draughts. As he ran to the door he collided with Sid, and shoved him against the wall, calling him a shit. He must have known what would happen. Sid laughed, but his face straightened when he saw the haversack.

‘I tried, Alex, but you wasn’t listenin’... Hey, where you goin’? You doin’ a bunk, are yer? Well, wait fer me.’

It was so easy. They simply walked out of the main gate, crossed the gardens, hopped over a wall and thumbed a lift into town. By this time Alex had told Sid that he might have killed Mr Taylor, Sid might be better off going back. But Sid wouldn’t hear of it, and flung an arm around his mate. He admired Alex. Like all the other boys at Oakwood, he had at one time endured an ‘examination’ at Mr Taylor’s hands. No one had dared say anything about it, they suffered in silence. But Sid was happy, at long last the pervert had got what he asked for.

They took the train to London, and from there a bus to Hackney, where Sid had friends. ‘You’d best not show yer face near ‘ome, Alex, or they’ll pick yer up. That’ll be the first place they look. We’ll stay under cover for a couple o’ weeks until the heat dies down, then we’ll travel the world.’