Lynda Plante: The Talisman

Alex trailed behind Sid down endless corridors, until they came to a long dormitory. Sid barely paused for breath, keeping up a steady flow of chatter. He pointed out a small bed, a locker, and then sat swinging his legs impatiently while Alex unpacked. ‘Take yer gear, stick us in this ruddy uniform, makes yer sick. I got meself a nice suit just before they copped me — nice double-breasted with a crease in the pants yer could cut yer ‘and on, very tasty — got one of them new skinny-rib ties what’s all the fashion...’

Sid continued to talk all through the tour of Oakwood Hall, making rude remarks about every room, every teacher, until his black humour had Alex smiling. ‘Yer fink I’m jokin’, mate, but wait, just wait. You’ll see all I’m talkin’ is God’s truth. This place comes wiv the ark, no kiddin’.’

Alex never really chose Sid as his friend, Sid simply latched on. He was very glad in the end as Sid was so popular, forever joking, always ready with the hottest rumours. Oakwood Hall was a far cry from Rochester House, and Alex settled in fast. Lessons were treated seriously, though not by Sid. The only thing he really worked at was his football. On the pitch he could dribble the ball so fast he was at the far end and back again with no one to touch him. They became even more inseparable when Sid saw how fast Alex could run. ‘Hey, you an’ me, yer know, we could make it on the professional circuit — did I tell yer me Dad’s a professional? Yeah, he’s one hell of a football player. Soon’s I’m out, an’ the war’s over, I’m gonna try out fer Fulham.’

Evelyne’s weekend visits left Alex increasingly anxious about her. She seemed thinner and unnaturally quiet, but she always brought him a bagful of fruit and a chocolate bar. She gave him a half-crown to slip in his pocket and told him it might be difficult for her to come every week as it was such a long way from home. ‘You look well, son, it must be the sea air. Do you get out on to the beach at all?’

Alex told her they went for long walks every other day, and one of the masters took them on country rambles. He did look well, and he was filling out. He was taller, and his long trousers made him look very grown-up. To Alex, his mother seemed vacant, and her big, worn hands fiddled nervously with her handbag strap all the time.

‘You heard from our Eddie, then, Ma?’

Evelyne frowned slightly and said he’d written, but he was very probably busy with his studies. ‘I asked Mr Taylor and he said you were doing well here. So stay that way and I’ll have you home soon. That will be nice, just the two of us.’

Alex gave her a soft, shy smile, and she reached over and gently touched his face. She noticed his quick, embarrassed glance to see if any of the other lads were watching.

‘You’ve not been getting into any fights, the way you did at Rochester House?’

‘No, it’s not bad here, and I’m working well. They tell you I was top in maths? And then there’s the sports. I play a lot of football.’

She smiled, pleased, and he slid his hand across the table to hold hers. ‘I love you, Ma... love you with all my heart, I do.’

‘I know, son, I know... I never told you much about your grandfather, but, well, you’ve got more of a look of him than ever. It’s the dimple in your chin.’

Alex had rarely, if ever, heard her mention his grandfather. He couldn’t know that Evelyne had her reasons, deep, hidden reasons, and there was also the fact that there had never been a legal form of marriage between herself and Freedom.

The wardens began to open the doors, at any moment the bell would ring. ‘I’ll write to you, Mum.’

Evelyne appeared to be miles away, staring into space.

‘Mum, I know it’s hard for you to come and see me, so don’t put yourself out too much.’

Alex always had so much more to say when the bell rang. There was that emotional surge when he first saw her that made him go dumb. Then, just as he relaxed, it was time for her to go.

The wardens called ‘Time up’, and the boys had to file out before their parents left. Evelyne noticed that Alex had a manly swagger to him now. He was growing away from her and it tore her heart. When he turned and gave her that smile of his at the door, she fought to put on a brave face, giving him a little wave of her hand. Today more than ever she saw Hugh, her father, in her son — his curly hair, his blue eyes — then the pain swept over her and she could see Edward’s face, Edward her first-born, Freedom’s mirror, and by the time she boarded the train home she was drained, a terrible empty feeling inside her. She felt cut off, and desperately alone, the confusion of faces dead and gone haunting her...

Like all the boys at Oakwood, Alex felt deeply depressed after these visits. He jogged out to the football field in search of Sid, who appeared never to receive either letters or visitors. Seeing two younger boys kicking a ball around, he asked after Sid.

‘Matron took ‘im up to the sickroom, he’s had one of his turns.’

It was not until they were getting ready for bed that Alex saw Sid again. The matron brought him in, looking pale and drawn, and she had to help him into bed. The young lad next to Alex whispered, ‘They give ‘im somefink ter quiet ‘im down, drug ‘im...’

‘Why does his Dad never visit?’

The boy sniggered, ‘You don’t believe ‘is stories, do yer? He ain’t got no Dad, that’s why they keep bringin’ ‘im back ‘ere — he got no place else.’

Alex lay back. He couldn’t believe it — why had Sid lied to him about his father? He looked over at the still figure of his usually buoyant friend and was angry at Sid for making such a fool of him.

At breakfast next morning Sid was as lively as ever, fooling around and spilling sugar on the floor. Eventually Mr Taylor yelled at him.

‘Hey, Alex, want a quick game at break? Alex...? Whassamatter wiv yer?’

‘You should have told me, Sid, why’d you lie? What you lie to me for?’

Sid sniffed and shrugged, looked down at his shoes. ‘Why don’t yer mind yer own friggin’ business... you want ter play or not?’

‘No, I gotta see Taylor...’

Sid stuffed his hands in his pockets, gave Alex a peculiar smile. ‘Taylor asked to see yer, ‘as he? I wondered ‘ow long he’d take to get round yer... Well sod ya, I’ll play on me own.’

Sid went to move away and Alex caught him by the arm. ‘Sid, is it true yer don’t ‘ave a Dad?’

‘Look, I ain’t got nobody, so I make ‘em up in me ‘ead — is that such a terrible fing? I don’t hurt nobody... But you try it sometimes, everybody comin’ in wiv fings what they been given. I don’t even get a friggin’ letter.’

Alex put an arm around him, pulled him towards the lockers. ‘All right then, from now on what I get, we halve... here you go, fruit, chocolate...’

Sid slipped an arm around Alex’s shoulder, grinning from ear to ear, then he glanced at the door and whispered, ‘Watch out for Taylor, he’s a bastard — know what I mean?’

Alex shook his head.

‘Gawd ‘elp us, you are green, yer know that... Look, this is what yer say when he asks...’

Before Sid could elaborate, Alex was called by a junior to get a move on, as Taylor was waiting for him.

‘Tell me later... We’ll have a game after tea, okay?’

Sid watched Alex hurry off. He snapped the bar of chocolate in two and ate a square. Alex grinned from the door, and Sid gave him the thumbs-up sign. No older than Alex, Sid was streetwise. Alex was such a good-looking boy, skinny maybe, but a real looker. ‘Well, son, you’re gonna learn the ‘ard way, that’s fer sure.’

Mr Taylor was sitting at his desk marking exercise books, his pebble glasses stuck on the end of his nose. He looked up, smiled at Alex and told him to sit down, he would be with him in a moment.