Bruce Wagner - I’m Losing You

He winced at the thought of his sister; she’d call his vision hubris and hate him for his efforts. Aubrey Anne was pretentious that way. He remembered when she came to the house a few years ago and Douglas fixed them a wonderful lunch by the pool. Aubrey spewed patented zingers and made diggy little looks, then announced she had AIDS, just like that. The producer felt spiteful and disconnected. He couldn’t wait for her to leave.

Locking himself in the restroom, he vomited on the descent — a septic torrent of cookies, hot fudge and shrimp, scotch and filet mignon, salad and steamed veggies, potatoes au gratin and a dozen bags of peanuts so sweet they had made him shiver.

It was raining in L.A. The steward draped the coat on his shoulders and Zev slipped him a card. Gogol and Mimsy tucked in armpits, he nodded suavely at his fellow passengers — Katie Couric, Brian Dennehy and the agent Donny Ribkin among them — and debarked. The driver waited at the gate. He took Zev’s Il Bisonte bag and walked eight paces ahead. Down the escalator and through the tube, Aubrey Anne nagged at him. A brainy type, she’d always been mad about the Russians. He could see her scrunched on the sofa, see the covers of the books with their yellow college USED stickers, her four-eyed face buried in Lermontov, The Idiot , Turgenev — and another one that stuck in his mind: This Fierce and Beautiful World . He loved that title but never remembered who wrote it. Oblomov? Maybe. One of his soldiers would find out.

Troy Capra

(Kiv Giraux lies on a blanket, sunbathing. The lawn is green, the sky powder-blue. She is topless. Troy interviews her from OFF-CAMERA. While they talk, his lens drifts languidly over the anatomy: legs, tummy, breasts, smile. Zooming in, dallying. No abrupt movements…casual and conversational. A supered title: THE FOXXXY NETWORK’S STARSHOT #10—XXX-FILE GIRLS. The short, popular segments, dubbed “Starshot Skinscapes,” usually run between feature films on the twenty-four-hour Adult Channel but lately have been airing in MTV-like blocs of five. They have an informal, documentary feel, brainchild of Troy Capra. The fresh, improvisational style and home-movie look have made them a hit with viewers)

Tell us about yourself.

( smiles, deep breath ) Okay. My name is Kiv.

Kiv. That’s unusual. Very pretty.

Thank you.

Where from?

Vancouver.

Beautiful place. Lots of television production up there now.

Maybe I should go back!

We don’t want to lose you just yet. That’s close to Seattle, isn’t it?

Vancouver? Uh huh.

Home of the Grunge.

That’s right. Kurt Cobain and many others.

Lotta rain up there.

I’m a rain person.

Tell us how you got into the adult-film business, Kiv.

I was working as a dancer — in fact, I still do, between auditions. It’s something I enjoy.

Bet you’re pretty good.

I think I’m fair. Until a few months ago, I’d never even seen one — an X-movie. Then I started going out with someone—

An actor?

He was an agent.

Uh oh. Name?

…that shall remain anonymous! ( laughs ) He had a satellite dish—

Still seeing him?

No! It didn’t work out.

Not a big enough dish, huh.

( smiles ) That’s partly true.

Most agents have that problem.

And how would you know? ( laughs ) He was actually very nice. For a while there, anyway!

You were saying…

Well, he subscribed to some of the satellite channels that show adult films, soft-core. You don’t really see very much.

Uh huh. And you liked watching these Disney-type—

( laughs ) I wouldn’t say they were quite Disney. But everything was pretty much left to the imagination — in that sense, they were actually very erotic. And very well done.

Make mine medium rare, thank you. Now, is that the Spice Channel? ( Kiv nods ) And when you and your friend watched this, was that kinda like foreplay?

It did get us in the mood. But then he showed me the other channels—

The FoXXXy Network…

And they showed everything .

Oops! Rear-entry time.

Right — yes— everything . I was amazed. They showed home videos, too. People who got it on and sent in tapes.

That’s hot.

Suddenly, it was like…the whole world is into adult filmmaking.

The whole world is watching! Remember that? Welcome to the kinky Global Village. Tell us more about the home videos.

Some were really sort of gross but some were very hot. Because you’d see couples that you usually don’t see, in professional productions. Petite girls with these really big guys—

Big in what way?

Tall. ( laughs ) It’s more real, because that’s what life is like — not everyone has these perfectly matching bodies.

You said petite girls. You mean, chest-wise?

Petite in general. Like, little Koreans — and white girls too — with these big, hairy guys.

That’s attractive.

( laughs ) It was real . They were like “the couples next door”—people didn’t care how they looked and I thought that was great.

You’re not one who’s lacking in the chest department. ( she tweaks a nipple with her long red fingernails, screwing and unscrewing; it stiffens ) Wow, look at that.

They’re very sensitive. ( she does the other one )

I’m getting sensitive myself just watching. So, Kiv: all this channel-surfing put you in the mood…

I guess you could say that, Troy. I certainly got curious.

What are you into? What turns you on?

Men. I’m really into men.

Have you done a film with a woman?

Not yet. But I haven’t done very many movies.

If you did, would you prefer a petite?

You mean, chest-wise?

Uh huh.

Someone smaller-chested than buxom, yes.

I’ll put your order in right away. ( she laughs ) Well, how about Singapore?

Singapore is great . I loved working with her in Dirty Squealers .

So you’d feel comfortable doing Singapore.

More than comfortable!

Or being done by.

Mmmmmm. In fact, while we were shooting, I was kind of disappointed you never put us together.

I’ll have to give myself a thousand lashes with the wet noodle. If it’s good enough for Ann Landers—

And she’s really sweet, Singapore. Not at all competitive. She’s just so great.

Speaking of erotic channels…would you mind taking off your panties? ( Kiv smiles as she removes them ) That’s beautiful. ( CAMERA PUSHES IN CLOSER until her bush fills FRAME. It has been shaved in the shape of a heart ) Hey, it’s Valentine’s Day. Move over, Edward Scissorhands.

I loved that movie. I think Tim Burton is a genius.

Did you do that yourself or did you have any help?

Just a little. ( smiles ) A little help from my friends. ( laughs )

What kind of acting have you done, Kiv?

Mostly stage. Various productions in Vancouver. But I came to Hollywood so I could get experience in front of the camera. ( CAMERA ZOOMS on bush ) My plan is to cross over, like Traci Lords—

She’s not doing too bad, is she?

I’d love to do a series — something like Friends —but I’m also pursuing low-budget film work with interesting directors like Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. But I really enjoy theater work and might be doing a play soon, in Burbank.

Beautiful downtown Burbank.

It’s Chekhovian— The Cherry Orchard .

I think you mean Chekhov. Chekhovian is the name of my grocer. The Cherry Orchard …that’s where farmers grow virgins, huh. ( How had this happened to him? Years ago, he’d staged The Seagull in Topanga with Will Geer .) Kiv, do you think your work in adult films will hamper you? Lotsa prejudice out there.