Bruce Wagner - I’m Losing You

Thus will conclude Book One of *** The THIEF of ENERGY .

SIX MONTHS LATER

Kiv Giraux

They are available on certain satellite venues (one called the “Adam and Eve” Channel and another called “Spice”) and are NOT XXX, as private parts are NOT shown. {Camera angles are such that offending areas remain “teasingly” out of view — MUCH more intriguing than your garden-variety porn, of which erotica quotient is somewhat “nil”}. I’ve done three to date: Sleepless in the Saddle, Pulp Friction and Dirty Squealers {a “film noir” motif}. By and large, the production people I’ve met are friendly and supportive — just folks. The thesps are uniformly intelligent and might I add EXTREMELY hygienic, more so than your average blind date!

Due to my “girl-next door” looks {that I’m a fresh face in the field doesn’t hurt}, I find myself somewhat in demand. That’s a nice feeling in this town. I’ve also been told I’m a hot commodity, oddly enough, because I’m SANS tattoos. Seems since so many Yuppified-types {do Yuppies still exist? Yes, I’m talking to you, Diary, so stop yer yawning} subscribe, the producers prefer the “Vancouver Virgin” look to the more clichéd, standardized “Biker Chick.” Lucky me.}

I have to say I did much soul-searching when this opportunity arose — as always, in my darkest hours, the LADIES OF THE LIST helped see me through. Actresses have always worked beyond the pale; countless members of the PANTHEON have bared breast AND pubis. Altogether my new venue is not too far a cry or leap. In the meanwhile I am getting FANTASTIC experience with set, crew and camera — I’m quite comfortable around a soundstage, my “in-house” knowledge and professionalism growing leaps and bounds, and that’s an INVALUABLE BLESSING. {I CANNOT fail to mention the extraordinary “case” of TRACI LORDS, though my work in this medium will NEVER approach the explicitness of her early “non-pro” limnings. TRACI’s certainly on a SUPERB trajectory. Her manager said in an interview that because of her work on MELROSE, she’ll soon be presenting on the EMMYS — from there, it isn’t too far from handing out an Oscar or two {{meaning STATUETTE!!! I am SO TERRIBLE!!!}}. Just LOOK at the depths from which she’s come {{TROY CAPRA, director of Dirty Squealers , showed me a tape TRACI did at age fifteen or thereabouts. It was the MOST SEXUALLY EXPLICIT I have ever SEEN, with TRACI giddily vaulting from one stiffened member to another as if in a Sexual Olympics. WAY SHOCKING!!}}

I’ve kept in touch with HARRY DEAN and he promised to introduce me to a number of well-connected cronies in the legit film world. {ROBERT EVANS is high on his list.} He’s been supportive and non-judgmental and I adore him for that. He even came to BAILEY’S and we lap-danced, as a kind of a joke {I’ll soon be working there no longer}. Afterward, he tried to tip me and that hurt. I told him I didn’t want his money and I know HARRY DEAN felt bad with his FAUX PAS. Upon occasion, I still frequent the MONKEY BAR, VIPER ROOM and Sweets. The last time I visited my old place of employment, Rodrigo comped me drinks and the bartender {new there} recognized me from the Spice Channel! My first taste of the kind of standard adulation so common and everyday for LADIES OF THE LIST — Diary, I swear, as you’re my witness — I’m on my way to the Pinnacle of the Elite!

Jabba and I have become roommates. Troy helped us move this weekend {he, director of Dirty Squealers and stage plays too numerous to mention. We’ve been seeing quite a bit of each other lately} to a tall apartment building on DOHENY, near SUNSET — a stone’s throw from the ROXY. I cannot WAIT to walk from room to room, I LOVE the smell of new-paint and hygienic emptiness, so magically HOPEFUL and filled with promise. I can finally bring out Mother and Father; it will be plain to see I am truly making it on my own terms. I have become a Hollywood story! The doorman told us GOLDIE once lived here during her ascent {MUST include this effervescent dynamo in my next installment. Forgive me, GOLDIE, for I know not what I do! And by the way, may I borrow your husband?}—as did JAMI GERTZ, THERESA RUSSELL {an interesting anomaly; I wonder if NICOLAS ROEG is as old as HARRY DEAN}, LISA EILBACHER, COURTNEY COX and DAPHNE ZUNIGA. Also KIM CATTRALL {a fellow underappreciated Canadian, especially in TICKET TO HEAVEN {{CIRCA 1981}} }, PHOEBE CATES {KEVIN, I adore you!} and SHERILYN FENN. What a pedigree! From this aerie, Troy and I will plot our assault on Hollywood in all fields, anew! As Troy says, “The world is our keester.” {I love his sense of humor.} All joking aside, I remain Sincerely Yours — and with no regrets… Kiv Giraux .

GOOD MORNING: Boothing at Sweets were whitehot thesp Kiv Giraux and helmer Troy Capra. In case you didn’t know, Troy and Kiv are thisclose. They’ve just completed their fourth feature together and next month Kiv begins her second book of The Pantheonseries (St. Martin’s), “a comparative study of starlets of the Fifties: starcrossed, middling and those destined for the Pinnacle.” The Pinnacle?Congrats, Kiv — looks like you’re already there. {Okay, Diary, so I went a little over the top. But it’s my DREAM and DREAMS should have no limits}

CALLING ALL ACTRESSES! Helpful Tips from Kiv:

HELPFUL TIP #1: Don’t smoke — it yellows teeth and skin and creates lines around the mouth. HELPFUL TIP #2: Keep lots of plants in the house. They help you sleep and even aid your disposition. Talk to them and stroke them while you water and feed! “Plants are people too” is a neglected truism. HELPFUL TIP #3: Don’t forget to water YOURSELF. If you have a problem you can’t resolve, by all means seek short-term help from a therapist so as not to have that problem fester. HELPFUL TIP #4: Don’t let the bedbugs bite!

Phylliss Wolfe

Communion at Women in Film luncheon with the Usual (premenstrual) Suspects. Jodie’s movie is deep in post; Katherine G just finished directing a sapphic short about a scripter and experimental novelist (write about what you blow). Wants to arrange screening for Griffin and yours truly — because, I know, she thinks I have pull at Sundance. Pargita heard about the Sarandon thing and was all over me like a cheap muff-diver. Not a word on Teorema until the end:

PARGITA

(AVEC LINDA HAMILTON/ T2 -LIKE RESOLVE)

Let’s just do it, Phylliss. It’ll be so fucking hot. It’s time .

KATHERINE

(MYSTICAL/HEARTFELT)

She’s right, Phyll, you know she is. We have to.

PARGITA

Why aren’t we in post on that , instead of this ? Why didn’t it happen ?

KATHERINE

Hey, did they ever find out who killed the Gisela guy?

I flashed a wan smile at the Sisters Quim, hating myself for that. Said “Yeah, we’ll kick it” or some such rah-rah hip-hop horseshit. Holly Hunter was there and looked fabulous — Christ to Hell, I wish I was Southern::::::::::Dating again and it’s flat-out weird. Does something to me hormonally ; I go on these absurd little fantasy-jags. Like I’ll be cleaning out my closet and suddenly start thinking, “Gee. Hmmm. I wonder where women store their bras while nursing?”::::::::::Pregnant again by fall, or bust! But who shall I turn to, when nobody seeds me — a butcher, a baker, a Jewish dealmaker? I do know she’ll be a girl-child, willful and green-eyed and gorgeous. And I’ll tell you something else, E. If she wants to join the circus, I will say yes, yes, a thousand times Yes. She will be the epic child of sky and of strada, my child and no one else’s::::::::::My Gelsomina .