Bruce Wagner - Dead Stars

“She wants to see what .”

“That amazing 5 by 7 you showed me, at the Chateau.”

“Pieter, I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.”

He repeated himself very slowly , which was annoying.

“Beth Rader wants you to stop by the gallery and show her the photo you took of that family in the hospital.”

“I’m not getting this, Pieter.”

“She’s at Gagosian in Beverly Hills. I took a picture of it with my iPhone & emailed it to her.”

“You took a picture of what I showed you?”

“You can hate me, Jacquie, but this is your major work . I don’t even think you know it yet. I think part of you does, part of you knows. Maybe the part that showed me , the part that let me in. And I’m just really honored to have been able to play that part. To have been in the right place at the right time. That’s where you are too, Jacquie, that’s where you are . The right place at the right time. I think it’s finally all come together for you. But you can’t do it alone — there’s just no reason to.”

When she spoke, her measured tone made it sound as if she were someone else. “That picture is incredibly confidential , Pieter. I cannot believe you did that. Those people gave me their trust! What if it shows up on the fucking Internet?”

“It’s not going to happen. Look, all I’m asking is for you to give me what those people gave you: trust. Give me your trust , Jacquie. I’m not gaming you, I love you, you’ve been mucking about far too long, & now you’re onto something very special . Jacquie, I want you to have a career . You deserve one. I want to see you come barreling back. Something in me just knows. ”

Pause.

“That this is your time.”

An Indecent Proposal

“Bitch

move out of her room? Are you in her room yet?”

“Yeah. She left some shit of hers there it’s cool.”

“Like left what.”

“Just some clothes, whatever.”

“Where’d she leave it.”

“Mostly in the closet.”

“So now I’m free storage too.”

“Tommie (Bolt called her that, she let him call her that), an opportunity has come your way.”

“Is that right.”

“To make some bread.”

“Is it legal?”

“Absolutely. You know the crew that’s coming next week? Seth, the D.P.? That’s Seth’s crew. Anyway I been knowing Seth since we were in high school, he’s my bro. & they do — he shoots porn — his crew, they do porn shoots to pick up xxxtra change.”

“They want to shoot a porno up here? Ha! Is that what you’re saying? Hahahahahaha— ”

“5K. That’s what they’re offering. They fuckin love the house — I sent em a few pics of the interiors & shit. Seth said it’s like a 9 to 5 deal, then wham they’re out. They only want to use the living room & pool area, you can rope everything else off. Seth said they even put runners down on the carpets to protect them.”

“From like the spunk and shit. The pussy run-off. Teehee.”

“They have the shit down to a science.”

“When do they want to do this?”

“Sunday.”

“So this is like before they’re gunna do Believers .”

“It’s kind of a cool way for you to meet him — Seth — see how he works. If you already have a relationship things will go smoother & faster for the Daydream shoot, right?”

“ Hahahahahahahahah! Betty White — porn queen! I could probably sell this shit to TMZ.”

“Should I tell em you want to do it? Or you can think about it—”

“Can they do 5 thou in cash?”

“They probably do cash a lot.”

“You’ve done porn, right?”

“Little bit. I’ve directed porn.”

“No shit.”

“That’s my passion. I’ve probably directed more porn than I’ve participated in.”

“OK yeah. Far out . OK. I guess you’re gunna be coming around for your finder’s fee——”

“I’m not like that.”

“I know you aren’t, baby. I know you aren’t. ( Strokes his head, seeing his feelings got a little bruised by her comment ) Baby? I love you. Baby? See if they’ll come up when you talk to em, K? See if they’ll come up to seventy-five hundred.”

Miracle at the Hilton

3

modest one-bedroom suites on the 3rd floor of the Beverly Hilton reserved (donated by the hotel) for talent/rest/makeup/rehearsal lite lounges. One for Beyoncé, one for Steve Martin, one for the performing children — Telma & Aleisha. (When Biggie told his brother that Telma invited him, Brando promptly bought a $100,000 table.) A Courage Ball talent liaison told Gwen & Aleisha’s mom that Michael Douglas and his wife were going to try to come up to the room to say hi but that never happened.

En suite: Telma and Gwen and Phoebe, Aleisha and her mom Melanie. Telma basically acts like Aleisha isn’t there. Aleisha stares at Telma wide-eyed, as if in the presence of a . 5-year-old Aleisha is hopelessly devoted to Telma. Aleisha doesn’t feel ignored; how can you be ignored by the sun? How do you feel snubbed by rainbows, tigers and thunder? How can you be dissed & dumped on by beauty and magic? Gwen knows how delicate things are at this moment, how near the edge her daughter loiters. Every once in a while, she tries to get Telma to engage Aleisha in the smallest ways — Phoebe does the same — to no avail. The terrible thing for Gwen is, she’d be handling her daughter quite differently if not for the uncancerous sword of Damocles that was sharpening itself just over the girl’s head. If not for that, she’d warrant a bitchslap. Aleisha’s obsequiousness toward her role model, who after all had/has the very same cancer she had/has, had pioneered & vanquished it, that awed virginal slavishness happens to be the only mitigating factor allowing Telma to be kind, if kindness may be defined as the covert omission of flagrant cruelties, and the why & wherefore Telma justified even bothering to share the same airspace with the dwarfy interloper. Aleisha’s utter worshipfulness is so pure, if not exactly endearing (to Telma), then appealing ; precisely what staved off full evisceration by her fellow Kansurvivor non-Kanadian Hero. For the moment anyway.

Colorful little Kate Spade “I’m courageous!” bags in the 3 suites filled with donated stuff: Geo-Girls anti-aging makeup (Walmart) (ages 8-12), push-up bras (Target), James Perse/Free City tee’s, Pirates of the Caribbean/Harry Potter/Alice In Wonderland DVDs, Avril Lavigne&Katy Perry best-ofs, VTech KidiZoom digital cams (!!!), Justin Bieber’s One Less Lonely Girl Collection nail polish. Aleisha watches transfixed as Telma assiduously applies “I’m a Belieber” on the tapered big-girl fingers of her left hand, “Give Me the First Dance” on the right. When Telma waves her nails to dry, Aleisha is tranced out by the sustained fanning/twitchy/hi-oscillating movements. (Entranced by everything about her.) Gwen says you know it might be nice, Telm, if you could do one of Aleisha’s nails, just to get her started. Her daughter abstains, not by saying no but by pointedly ignoring the request. Why should I? She says it all in a sharp look to her mother, a look that says, Don’t make me say this outloud! Don’t make me say she’s technically not even a survivor! Don’t make me say you’re not supposed to even call yourself a survivor unless it doesn’t come back after THREE YEARS ( Telma keeps changing the kancerules ) — the one thing Gwen, Phoebe & Melanie don’t understand (tho Melanie’s being so understanding in so many ways) is that Aleisha does not, cannot feel h8ted on, she’s baby sister-enthralled & can’t register Telma’s rage, Telma’s wish that she’d never been born, Telma’s night prayers to God please make her cancer come back , with speedy, fatal fury. Aleisha’s mom never says a word, just sits grinning like there’s a language problem, which there sort of is, to put it mildly. Melanie’s smile conveys that all’s rosy with her world, My baby girl’s alive, what’s not to be joyous about. Maybe that’s Canadian or Christian, but whatever it is, Gwen’s grateful for Zen Mom of the North. Gwen’s embarrassed enough by her daughter’s mean girl prima donna stylings and relieved she doesn’t have to deal with a parent’s legitimate beef on top of it. Let her think she’s a bitch. If only she knew — if only everyone knew, we’d start an Arab spring right here, we’d topple those doctors & shut down that fucking hospital forever! And tonight’s shindig would be for TELMA, forever the world’s youngest mutilated-through-misdiagnosis survivor, they couldn’t take that away from her. . . . …