Bruce Wagner - Dead Stars

Jimmy Kimmel got serious & said he understood that Michael had brought along a very special friend who was backstage. Michael said that’s right, she’s in the wings. He said he was hosting a fundraiser at the end of the week, the Courage Ball, they raise money every year for kids with cancer, & his friend was going to be the guest of honor. She’s got a helluva voice too but she’s not gunna sing tonight, not for the kind of money you people offer. She came all the way from Canada to be here. Jimmy Kimmel said he met her before the show, she’s a very special girl, then he asked Michael if there was something else that made her special. Michael said yes, she’s the youngest breast cancer survivor in the world the audience gasped and applauded then cut short their applause, to save it for her she was diagnosed at 2½ and had a modified radical mastectomy at three the breath of the audience got choppy with that awful detail, a kind of groan and the taking back of the groan all at once, in decency & respect for the little girl because the audience didn’t want her imminent arrival to have any air of spectacle, this child deserved being met at her level, with decency & respect, they didn’t want to subject her ears to carnival sounds, because she was Everychild. Then Michael, with playful irritation said, Jesus, can we bring her out already, Jimmy? The audience laughed & out she came (holdng Mom’s hand) in her dear pink glasses, with her bear called Bear, in her party dress and hair done up atop her head, the audience awwwww’d like they do when animal experts bring out perfect tiny lorises, tiger cubs (& baby bears called Bear), they melted & stood on their feet as she clambered onto the couch and into Michael’s arms.

Subterranean Homesick Blues

Not

feeling well. Physically depressed, emo-depressed. Shit spiritual. Doesn’t leave her room. Rikki brings melty Yogurtland. Rikki craigslistbought a new used motorcycle, where did he get the bread. ReeRee only eats Rocky Road. Rikki picks up Rocky Road from 7Eleven when he doesn’t feel like riding over to Y-land on La Brea, she likes Ben & Jerry’s but it’s ice cream, I’m like 200 lbs overweight, can you please just go to why can’t you please just go to Yogurtland? When he delivers the ice cream he tries to cheer her up but she hates that he’s so wasted. You’re gunna die on that bike and your baby will never know you. She can thank big brother for that. What an asshole. Loser. Looser.

. .

YouTube tripping. Kat Stacks talking about how she fucked all the brokass niggers in youngmoney. Kreayshawn talking about Kat Stacks being a ratchet ho. A slideshow tour of Beyoncé’s million-dollar Mercedes van. (It has a shower and toilet.) ReeRee still couldn’t believe Brody Jenner was the ½brother of all the Kardashians, everyone in that family was famous. Reeyonna hated that she’d been born this way, Lady Gaga should have written a song not about people who were born different but about people who were born to remain nothing until they died. She used to think she could never get famous because she had no discernible talent, tho look at Kim, Khloé & Kourtney. But even they had talent, major talent, it was just harder to say what it was, & that was part of the mystique.

She cried herself to sleep after watching 3½ hours of Kendall & Kylie Jenner and Janet Devlin. There were hundreds of videos Kylie and Kendall uploaded, karaoking to Nicki Minaj, they made funny videos in their bikinis with their friends from different exotic places, jumping around & laughing, so beautiful were their bodies, sometimes they did the videos from their room which was bigger than her mother’s house, they were always in front of the cameras, they were growing up on camera, it was a natural thing for them, like a second language, you could tell they were in Paradise, she wanted so much to be a Kardashian. Janet Devlin lived on a beautiful farm in N Ireland like Rapunzel in Tangled/ her castle, she had long beautiful straw-red hair too & one day she flew to Liverpool for The X Factor auditions and became immortal. It was exactly like Bella Swan, Reeyonna had that same nightmarish feverpitched painful yearning in every fiber of her being for the elixir of fame, she wanted to be a Kardashian or Janet Devlin, she wanted to suddenly be inside their bodies, it was the same yearning she had for Vampire Life & the elixir of immortality when she saw her 1st Twilight at 12 years-old — OMG she’d watched every single one of the Kendall Kylie Janet Devlin YouTubes, Janet sang all of her songs in a small room of her isolated country home, millions & millions of people watched, you could see cars in the window whizzing by & the reflection of herds of goats in the glass. OMG when she sang that Regina Spektor song Us. . . …

I’ll never be famous I’ll never be thanking stadium fans for not giving up on me never be saying FUCK Y’ALL to my h8trs, I’ll never even HAVE h8trs, I just want to die!

. .

She got an email from a company that stored the blood from your baby’s umbilical cord.

It’s nature’s own insurance

The umbilical cord delivers nutrients and oxygen to your unborn child and contains specialized cells with great potential to generate healthy new cells and aid in the treatment of numerous diseases. As a result, more and more parents are opting to collect and store their child’s cord blood.

What were they even talking about?

. .

Rikki’s fosterdad called. Jim never presses, only suggests . He’s cool & methodical, a retired engineer. Rikki said he used to work on rockets. Jim says, You know there’s a bed waiting for you here, Reeyonna. Your privacy would absolutely be respected, I make you that promise. No unexpected visitors & that means you know who. Dawn & I will make sure of that. Ree just couldn’t say yes, she knew it was only her stubbornness, she knew that staying with Jim & Dawn was the best idea, probably the best place to be at this time , the best place for her new little family. To get the help & support she needed. Cause Rikki sure as shit wasn’t going to provide it, he couldn’t even get her fuckin yogurt. Reeyonna said haltingly, Did she say anything about the cameras? She kind of thought he knew or she probably wouldn’t have mentioned it. Jim said, She wasn’t too thrilled. If you wanted to hurt her, mission accomplished. But I think your mother understood why you did it from your point of view. That doesn’t excuse or minimize it, Reeyonna, but she said she understood. Anyway, none of my business. I just called to say what I said—& I’m glad you picked up! Reeyonna thought it was cool Jim didn’t bring up the cameras until she did. She said, Yeah, and it’s funny I did pick up because I haven’t really been using my phone like at all. Jim said, I just want you to know that my wife & I are offering you sanctuary. For our grandchild… ReeRee said, I’ll think about it, Jim, thank you, let me think about it, knowing she wouldn’t. We all said Jim just want that baby to be healthy, that’s priority number 1. Reeyonna said, Absolutely, & thank you Jim, you’ve always been so great. I’ll really think about it, OK? (Knowing she wouldn’t, that the weed of her pride prevented her.) We don’t want him or her growing up to be a gypsy because his mom was wandering around (engineer humor). Jim, I have to get off now. He said, All right, Reeyonna, thank you for hearing me out. We’re here for you, for you & Rikki & the baby. She said, I know that, Jim, & I really appreciate it. You’ve always — you & Dawn — you’ve always been so good to me, so fair. You’re like the parents I wish I could have had. How is Dawn, is she doing OK? (Some awkwardness there for Ree.) Jim said, Dawn’s fine, doing well, thank you for asking. (ReeRee knew about Dawn’s troubles thru Rikki.) And how are you? inquired ReeRee, suddenly Our Miss Manners of selfless telephone etiquette. You doin OK? Jim said, Me? Can’t complain. I woke up this morning & said, Welp I’m still on the right side of the dirt, guess I’ll make a pot of coffee. ReeRee laughed. What a sweet man. She had a pig for a mother and an asshole father who sent her postcards on her bdays, it was so interesting to see there were good parents in the world. Rikki said there was a court date set for the adoption. Jim said, Yup. We’re finally going to make the boy legal.