Jón Gnarr - The Indian

— Do you realize that it makes your mother sick and tired if you keep suddenly running away from her?

— We’re just playing.

— Don’t you have friends to play with?

— I’m an Indian. I’m in a tribe of Indians.

The doctor told Mom to punish me for being naughty by making me go to bed. And the next time we went to town, she reminded me about that.

— Don’t run away from me and don’t chatter at people you see. Promise?

— Yes.

— And you have to sit next to me on the bus and be well-behaved and calm.

— Yes.

— If you start being naughty, we’ll go home and you’ll go straight to bed and you won’t get to watch TV.

The main challenge is that boy has been difficult for a long time, and has been growing more and more so, since he was about 2½ years old. He has become vehement in all respects, unbridled in both his delight and his misery, inconsiderate and demanding, out of control and confused; this is true both when he is outside his home, for example on the bus or in a shop, and also at times when guests come to his home. He is alienated from other children and can be really coarse in his language.

(National Hospital, Psychiatric Ward,

Children’s Hospital Trust, 02/04/1972)

I watch a lot of TV. I watch Bonanza and The Latest . I also watch Our Hour .

Dad watches the news. From time to time, he watches talk shows. I’m not allowed to bother him then. But often I have to ask him about something before I forget.

Sometimes, Dad comes home from work and starts watching the news right away. It’s possible I haven’t seen him for days. And perhaps I have something especially interesting that I simply must tell him. So I sneak up to him and try to whisper it. He doesn’t even look at me, just stares at the news. If I speak more loudly, he raises the volume on the TV, and then I have to shout so he can hear me.

- “THE SUPREME COURT IN STUTTGART YESTERDAY SENTENCED THE TERRORISTS ANDREAS BAADER AND GUDRUN ENSSLIN FOR THEIR PURSUIT OF TERRORIST ACTIVITIES…”

— Dad!

- “THE RED BRIGADES ARE…”

— DAD!

He doesn’t look at me. Sometimes I try to turn his face from the TV so it faces me. Then he gets irritated and pushes me away.

— Mom! Take the kid.

Then Mom comes to fetch me and take me away.

— You mustn’t bother your dad when he’s watching TV.

— But I was just telling him…

— You mustn’t bother him.

— Can’t I ask him just one thing?

— No.

I never really see my dad. He works so much. He leaves early in the morning and comes home late at night. Then he flops down and watches the news on TV or listens to it on the radio in the kitchen.

I’m not allowed to disturb him then. I’m not allowed to disturb him, either, when he’s working on something around the home. I get in his way and he becomes exasperated.

— Don’t touch that. Leave it be! It’s dangerous!

— What is it?

— Leave it be.

The father is dark haired, broad-shouldered, of medium height. He appears fairly warm, a man of conviction; like his wife, however, he has considerable difficulty expressing himself. He downplays the boy’s problems; what’s more, he says that he isn’t as aware of them as his wife is, and he was able to maintain that this visit was less a concern to him than to his wife.

(National Hospital, Psychiatric Ward,

Children’s Hospital Trust, 08/02/1972)

That summer, Dad goes out to the country and I’m not allowed to go with him. When he comes back he has pictures of himself and all these people I don’t know. It’s good weather, sunny and really nice. Everyone is always happy. Sometimes, the people in the pictures are messing around with each other and laughing, their mouths open. In some of the pictures my dad is holding some small boys. The boys are friendly towards him and call him Grandpa. Dad evidently feels very fond of these boys.

None of them have red hair.

I give Mom the slip in town. I run into a yard and climb far up a tree. She finds me. She tells me to come down right this minute. She can’t climb. She doesn’t speak loudly because there are people watching. But she is firm and she whispers as loudly as she can.

— Will you come down right now!

Suddenly I feel like I’m Tarzan. I’ve seen heaps of Tarzan films: Tarzan and the Dwarves, Tarzan and the Lost City . Tarzan travels by swinging between trees. He jumps between the branches or swings across by hand. He’s very strong. I’m strong, too. I’m stronger than all the boys in my year. There’s only one boy in the whole school who’s stronger than me.

Everyone is looking at me. It’s great. It’s like the gathering crowd is the audience at the cinema watching a Tarzan film. I’m Tarzan. A man walks up to the tree.

— Why don’t I fetch your boy down?

Mom smiles awkwardly.

— I’m at a loss what to do.

He’s going to come get me. There’s another tree at the same height as this tree I’m in. I climb higher. The man climbs the tree.

— Come on, kid. Enough messing around.

Without thinking about it, I jump away from my spot towards a branch. I’m Tarzan. I’m going to leap over to the other tree and swing between the branches.

But I’m not able to get a hold. The branch is soft and bends under my weight. I’m slipping. I try to grab the branch above me but I can’t reach it. I grope about in the air. I hear my mother calling.

— Jón Gunnar!

I slam onto my back. It’s bad. I can’t breathe. I try to cry but I can’t do that, either. People come running.

— Is he all right?

— I’ve never seen anything like it!

Mom gets me to my feet. I’m relieved to find that I’m okay. Mom thanks the man for trying to rescue me. Then she hurries me away.

— What on earth were you thinking, playing around like that?

— I don’t know.

— No, you don’t know. I can’t think for you. I can’t run everywhere right behind you. I’m exhausted.

She puts me to bed as soon as we get home. Even though it’s still daytime. She puts me in my pajamas and takes away my Legos.

— Do you know why I’m doing this? she asks.

I don’t know.

— Because you were naughty. I told you that if you were naughty then I would put you straight to bed.

— But I’ve finished being naughty.

— But because you were, you have to go to bed.

When I come back out to watch Bonanza she chases me back in.

— I’m not naughty.

— You were naughty, so you’ve got to stay inside your room!

— I’ve stopped that now.

— Stay in your room.

— But, Mom! Bonanza !

— You should have thought about that before you decided to be naughty.

Mom was very determined. I’d finished being naughty. I was really calm. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t watch Bonanza . So I snuck out. I was trying to sneak past Mom and into the TV room. She saw me and she had this really angry expression. I ran back into my room. I didn’t understand why she was so pissed. I couldn’t watch Bonanza and it wasn’t fair. I opened the door and called out.

— I promise I’ll behave.

Mom didn’t answer. She was angry. I started to wail.

— I’ll never do it again, Mom. I’ll never do it again!