Gavin Corbett - This Is the Way

Arthur drove two evenings every week over a hundred mile to this same spot outside Rath. He met Teresa there and he would take her to the running club. She was glad of the lift to the running club because in the evenings she was worn out and she was glad of the lift back because the running made her more worn out. Arthur said she would run better because she wouldn’t be tired. Teresa thought of this and one day when she got in the van she said she loved Arthur. They kissed like the cowboy and his girl.

Because Arthur was in love with Teresa he wanted her to do well with the running but he knew he could not go in the running club. Every evening when Teresa was doing the training Arthur would drive around, maybe he would go fishing in the moon or sit eating in Yankee Doodles. He would think in these hours and he thought he would train her himself. He went in a shop in Dublin and he got talking to the fella. The fella sold him a stop clock and showed him how to use it. He went around with a stop clock and a rain coat for a year and the people in the Cliffs laughed behind his back. Then they seen Teresa had moved in the Cliffs with him and they did not know if they should laugh.

In the mornings Arthur stood in the field near the Cliffs and he pressed his stop clock and Teresa would run away from him and across the new motor way being built and into the bottom of the hills and she would come back. They never left one another’s sight all this time now. When they were not doing the running Teresa was at home in the Cliffs with Arthur or she was with him in the van when he was travelling selling bowls and three legged tables. They were never separated but Teresa’s father would not allow them marry even when Arthur rang him. Arthur told Teresa this. He said too that her father said he didn’t want Teresa in the family no more. Arthur and Teresa kissed again like cowboys.

Some time after Teresa was not happy. Arthur seen that Teresa was getting depressed and he thought it might have been because she was separated from her family in Rath. He thought that she did not know this herself and he did not want to say it for her. He says I want to make you happy girl what is the matter. Teresa said to Arthur she had not run in a race a long time and it was making her low. She also said about the time she was in Dublin the time of the race in the Phoenix Park. She said that after the race all the girls in the running club were taken into Dublin and they went to McDonald’s and drank strawberry milk shakes. Teresa said to Arthur that when she came up to Dublin with Arthur she thought she would drink strawberry milk shakes in McDonald’s every night, that she was dreaming about it every night. Arthur says well that is it, we will go to McDonald’s every night and drink strawberry milk shakes.

A few month before Teresa went off on Arthur two things happened. One was that Teresa got too fat to run. The other thing that happened was that one day when Arthur and Teresa came back from a day working in the van some of the others in the Cliffs came up to them and they were agitated. They said that when Arthur and Teresa were away some fellas they did not like the look of came asking after the two of them. They had banged on Arthur’s door and they shouted through the letter box. They took a look around the side of the house but one of the neighbours came out and said words with them. The neighbour that did this said to Arthur that the fellas were not raring, but funny about it that was what no one liked about them. The fellas had asked when Arthur and Teresa would be back but the neighbour told them to fuck off and the fellas went away laughing.

Arthur says to Teresa I won’t let you out of my sight baby baby I won’t. He says we must never leave you alone. He said he would show her everything there was to do with numbers, that she could do the work the same as he did. He said they would go on holidays over in other countries. He says to hell with it I will marry you I don’t care what your father thinks.

This did not happen the way Arthur wanted. Teresa would not think about dresses, she would not look at rings. She got more depressed but Arthur would hold her by the cheek and kiss her on the head and she would smile. Even though she was fat Arthur said he loved her more than ever, she was his baby. He was with her longer than any other girl and she gave him something different to do. She gave him a great laugh and she said it herself then that she loved him more than anyone and that it didn’t matter what her family thought she would stay with him, and in the dark he said they would have their own babbies.

But one time Arthur turned into the Cliffs and there was smoke coming from the house. The people were around the front of the house and they ran to Arthur when he came up to the house. He jumped out the van and he was crying. He was shouting Teresa Teresa. He ran to get in the house and one of the neighbours took Arthur by the arm. He said Teresa was fine. Arthur says where is she. The man said Teresa was fine. Arthur says I need to see her. The man said he couldn’t see her. Arthur says I thought you said she was fine. The man said she was fine. Arthur says how do you know she’s fine. The man said she was fine because there was no sign of her when the fire brigade put out the fire. He said she’d left by the time the fire was lit.

A late wet sunny May evening Arthur came to our house smelling of smoke. He puked on our table. He was gone on the boat in July.

The longer myself and Arthur went on, the two of us in this damp broken room, the more I thought about getting back in with Judith. I wanted to kill the guilt because the guilt was getting at me for letting her down, I am an awful guilty man sometimes. I wanted to get back a good thing, I wanted to get out the house this situation and have something to do was the truth. I wanted to bring her back her books. I don’t know. But I could not think of how to get back in with her.

One of the days I says to Arthur you think you could get to liking these streets.

I could and I am liking them he says.

And this I says. This whole life I says.

What about it he says.

You think you could get to liking it too I says. This settled life.

Sure isn’t it the life that is natural for me he says.

I laughed loud. You’re serious I says.

Didn’t I grow up in a house he says.

You grew up in a house surrounded by the rest of them I says. Other houses like it and the same people all around.

Sure what do you know what’s settled he says.

I’m not saying I know anything I says.

There you are he says.

No I know one thing I says.

What is it he says.

Most the people in this country are wrong in their ways I says. Any old person you see, any young person you see, anything they say, anything they have and anything they hold to is wrong.

What’s that he says.

Something I got off that woman Judith I told you about I says.

We should go to her he says.

Yes I says.

Serious he says.

I’m not going nowhere with you I says.

Why he says.

I’m shamed of you I says.

That’s harsh words now he says. Why you shamed of me.

Haven’t you been living in a van these last years I says.

No I have not he says.

Where did you sleep your nights on the road then I says.

I slept in guesthouses he says.

Guesthouses I says.

And people’s homes he says. People invited me in.

Where I says.

In France, in England, all over he says. They call me a man of the world is the thing they say about me. They invite me in.

Like some tinker, depending on the hospitality of others I says.

I wasn’t depending on no one he says.

And whatever happened that van I says.