Gavin Corbett - This Is the Way

Good man says Arthur. So am I he says.

Are you enjoying freshers week says the fella.

I am says Arthur.

Would you be interested in attending a church meeting says the fella.

I might be says Arthur.

The fella was holding sheets of paper and he gave Arthur one of them. Arthur looked at the paper and said thank you.

When the fella walked on Arthur shouted behind him good man. Good man he shouted again and again and it sounded over the field. The two of us were holding ourself in we were laughing so much.

I can read one word on this and it’s God Arthur says looking at the bit of paper.

Very good I says.

Will we give it your father he says.

He has enough with God I says.

We looked out over the field, the fellas playing the rugby on the left, the young people standing eating burgers on the right. I got a sudden and strange and windy feeling like I was intruding. It was a feeling was gone again but it was a true feeling.

Will we go and meet this woman he says.

We will I says.

Where will we go he says.

She works in the library I says, and I turned around showed him the building.

Doesn’t look like a library he says.

What’s a library meant to look like I says.

Smaller he says. Like the back of a truck he says.

This is a different sort of library I says.

It’s big, it’s brutal he says.

It’s meant to be a safe place I says.

Will we go in he says.

I’ll go in I says.

Will I go in he says.

You don’t have the card to get in I says.

Where do you get the card he says.

I got it from her I says.

Will you get her to get me a card he says.

I’ll see about it I says.

We got to the front of the library and I says to Arthur wait here but I went to the door and I stopped.

He says what’s the bother.

I says what am I doing.

You’re going to go up there to her room he says.

And what’ll I say I says.

And you’ll bring her down here to me he says.

I can’t be doing this I says.

Why can’t you he says.

It’s begging I says.

It’s not begging how’s it begging he says.

It’s stupid I says.

Come on now we’ve walked this far he says.

It’s turning up at her door I says.

Isn’t that how you used to meet her he says.

No I says. She gave me the card for getting in for to read books not to be banging on her door I says.

How did you be calling on her so he says.

I went to the lady at the desk and said I’m here to see Judith I says.

Do that Arthur says.

Let me think I says.

What’s the bother with you he says.

She said goodbye the last time I’m not doing this I says.

What he says.

When I was with her the last time in the canteen she said to me goodbye I says.

Goodbye like fuck off he says.

Yes I says. I can’t be going to the desk and asking for her I says.

Do it he says.

I’m not going in announcing I says.

You’re weak he says.

We’ll think I says.

The fucking midges this place he says.

What I says.

He smacked his cheek, he threw his hand in the air, he walked on down the steps.

Come here I says, but he would not stop. I did not like the way he was dressed. He had on him his old jumper and his hair was a state, it had jam in it.

Come here I says, I caught up with him. I says there’s another thing we could do. There’s another thing we could do and it is this. I told him about these auditions, that we might meet Judith there.

A while later we found the place the auditions for the play called The Cherry Orchard was on, by the arch. I said we would only have a look and see what they were doing. A sign with an arrow said auditions second floor. We went up to the room. The wall outside it was matt and gloss. Arthur touched the wall and moved a lump of paint around with his finger.

I says leave it.

Arthur says I know the words that’s stuck up there they say wet paint.

I says we’re not here for those words we’re here for these words.

There was a table set up with a box on it. The box was open and in it were sheets of paper. A girl came and she took some of the sheets.

Is that the play you’re taking says Arthur to the girl.

Yeah she says.

She went to go down the stair.

Where you going I says to her. The auditions is on in the room I says.

The auditions aren’t on for another three quarters of an hour the girl says. I’m taking the script for the read through she says.

Arthur says the read through, and he took one of the plays.

Thank you missus I says to the girl. I turned to Arthur I says what you going to do with that.

We’ll have a read through he says.

Come on and we’ll get a cup of tea and a burger I says.

We went to the canteen and we had the two cakes we had left and two cups of tea and two burgers. I put the play out on the table.

You smooth it like this Arthur says. He hit it and moved his hand up it. You know I done plays meself times gone back he says.

No I didn’t I says.

I got mixed up with this crowd that drove the cinema mobile that put on the plays at the side of the church he says. I was Moses in a play I enjoyed it I did. Now you has jazz he says.

I says what’s that.

That’s a line from a play he says.

I read the front of the play, it said The Cherry Orchard by Anton Chekhov adapted by Judith Neill.

Arthur says what’s it about.

I says I don’t know give us the time to read it here. The first words is Ireland, the late nineteenth century.

A long time ago Arthur says.

It is I says.

Is the next words a long time ago he says.

No I says.

Read me some words of it and I’ll show you the way to do it he says.

I read to him Leonard Andrews, he said of me this. I am a lout, I am a peasant. This is fine, it means nothing to me. My only wish is that you trust me as you’ve always done.

Is Leonard Andrews the name of the man saying the words he says.

No Lohan is saying the words I says.

Is Lohan a woman he says.

I don’t know it doesn’t say I says.

He says Leonard Andrews, I am a lout, I am a pheasant. He says Leonard Andrews, he said of me this. I am a lout, I am a pheasant. This is fine, it means nothing to me. My only wish is that you trust me as you’ve always done.

I started laughing I couldn’t help it.

He stood up and bent over. He closed one eye and he held his buckled broken left hand under him like it was an injured deer. He says Leonard Andrews, he said of me this. I am a lout, I am a pheasant. This is fine, it means nothing to me. My only wish is that you trust me as you’ve always done.

Arthur started to laugh now too. Then he went serious again, he kept the red in his face, and he said the words looking over my head and his hands behind his back. He says Leonard Andrews, he said of me this. I am a lout, I am a pheasant. This is fine, it means nothing to me. My only wish is that you trust me as you’ve always done.

I was shaking with the laughing, the words of this thing. A feeling came on me, came up in me, light in the head and the heart with the laughing.

Leonard Andrews he says again but he couldn’t say no more, he had to sit down. He was banging the table with both hands he was laughing so loud. He stood back up. Leonard Andrews he says and he went crooked, stooped down now looking terrified at the ceiling.

I says keep going and I was choking I was laughing.

Leonard Andrews I’m a lout and a pheasant says Arthur I wouldn’t come anywhere near me I cannot be trusted hoo hoo ha.

He shouts his eyes closed Leonard Andrews, he said of me this. I am a lout, I am a pheasant. This is fine, it means nothing to me. My only wish is that you trust me as you’ve always done.