Peter Pišťanek - The End of Freddy

Freddy is quiet. He looks around in resignation; he seems unaware of his wife. He reaches into his chest pocket and takes out a leather-covered metal flask. He takes a sip. He doesn’t offer it to anyone else.

“No, best not to call a doctor,” says the production manager supervising Zongora’s treatment.

Zongora faints as they wash his back with whisky and bandage it. He regains consciousness after a while. He watches Freddy. Freddy coldly returns his gaze. The two will never be friends again, that much is clear.

The same evening, Freddy acts the modern aggrieved husband and moves out of the house. He takes a room in the Hotel Ambassador-Rácz. It’s the only hotel he knows, so he feels a little bit at home there. When he unpacks the necessities he has brought with him, he locks the room and goes for a walk in the city. Every corner round the hotel reminds him of something. He goes to see his old car park that once, in Rivers of Babylon, had to make way for a wooden village. But there is no trace of any wooden village there today; the car park is back. Freddy follows the parking attendant for a moment, as he sits in his modern booth, controls the entrance and exit barriers and collects money. For heaven’s sakes, if only Freddy had this modern booth and gates then, a long time ago, he’d have made much more money. Nobody would run away without paying or being fined. They’d have to break down the barrier.

Freddy momentarily regrets the money that he missed making then, but then he recovers. Today, after all, Freddy is much wealthier. Why open old wounds? He walks on. There’s no need to return to the past.

Freddy’s in a bad mood and decides to improve it with a good dinner. He’d rather call Urban and complain to him, but Urban is in Prague again. And so he dines in the Tibava wine cellar, which is a part of the hotel complex. It’s late, but Freddy does not feel sleepy. Finally, after downing two glasses of whisky, he gets himself to sleep.

The next day he goes to work as usual. The morning begins with the porn actresses raising hell. They’d like bigger fees. They feel underpaid.

Freddy curses. All he needs is for them to bring a trade union into his production company. And yet they’re lucky that he’s a person of character. But is he a person of character? He’s a stupid prick! He pays them such incredible sums that all the other porn magnates laugh at him.

He even knows people who never pay women anything. They simply kidnap women they fancy, force them, or drug them to do in front of the camera whatever they invent, including the most degrading and disgusting filthy things, and then they just kill them. And they do it in front of the cameras, to get some profit from it. And after their death they’ll shoot a film with them for a highly and narrowly specialised clientele. Such females thus have multiple uses. Like a sheep that gives milk, wool, and meat. And what does Freddy do? He pays like there’s no tomorrow. But this is the end of it. Fees will not be increased

The girls retort that they don’t even know how their pay’s arrived at.

Freddy shrugs. The girls need a price list for acts performed? They want to be like doctors? That’s no problem at all. A price list will be drawn up today, so that all performers can calculate their fees. Gross, of course. How much of that they pay the state and how much they have left doesn’t interest Freddy.

Freddy locks himself in his office and works hard. The price list is ready by lunch time. Freddy has it printed out on the laser printer and posted in the office areas, dressing rooms and photo and film studios.

Let them all read it! He’s spent hours working on this price list. Everything’s been thoroughly calculated. From now on, all the girls will be paid accordingly.

Basic hourly rate: 100 Slovak crowns;

Hourly rate for technical pauses: 20 crowns;

Additional:

Simple sexual act: 0 crowns;

Oral: 200 crowns;

Anal: 500 crowns;

Bondage: 700 crowns;

Penis in vagina, another in anus (sandwich): 1000 crowns.

Two penises in anus: 1600 crowns

Fist in vagina: 2500 crowns;

Fist in anus: 3000 crowns;

Whipping until blood is drawn: 3500 crowns;

Fist in vagina and another in anus at the same time: 3500 crowns.

Other items: by agreement.

The price list gets the notice due to it from the company employees.

“And what about the men?” one of the porn actors asks Freddy. “Haven’t you thought about the male actors?”

“Male actors should be glad to be so lucky,” Freddy tells him brusquely. “For every male in work, there are five waiting on the street. By the way, you’re fired. What for? For asking stupid questions. Pack up and get lost. Oh, has no one told Zongora he’s fired, too? No? Well, I repeat: he’s fired. When he comes, the guards can throw him out.”

Pleased with himself, Freddy goes back to his office and sits down at his desk, turning to the script he is working on.

Wicked Schoolgirl

Mother (Wanda Desire) and her schoolgirl daughter (Ariana Anal), come after school to see the headmaster ( Luigi LongoBruno Tatarelli) begging him not to fail the daughter. The headmaster is adamant until the mother takes her blouse off and shows him her naked breasts. The headmaster relents, but, pretending to be shocked, points at the daughter, saying that such things should not be shown in front of a child. The child smiles perversely, lifts her little dress and shows she has no underwear. The headmaster seems more fascinated by the sight of the daughter’s childlike genitals than by the sight of the mother’s breasts. The visitors notice, so the girl takes her clothes off, unzips the headmaster’s fly and begins to masturbate and suck him in turn. Meanwhile, the mother also takes her clothes off and joins the daughter. The headmaster is also undressed and the mother offers him her vagina. He prefers to have sex with the daughter. The mother won’t agree: the daughter is still a virgin. The headmaster say he knows a way of not breaking her daughter’s virginity. The daughter smiles and kneels with her back to him. The headmaster takes her from behind anally. At the same time the mother lies under her daughter and performs cunnilingus on her. The daughter does the same to her, as their position makes it feasible. Then they change position. Now the headmaster has anal sex with the mother, face to face, performing anilingus on the daughter. The mother’s and headmaster’s tongues meet on the daughter’s behind and crotch. Soon the headmaster ejaculates with classic loud moans of relief. Woman and child get dressed. The headmaster suggests meeting the next day. He promises that the daughter now has good marks guaranteed until the end of her school days.

(From Freddy’s notebook)

* * *

The Good Lord decided to make a poor man happy: he

drove reindeer into the tundra and helped the man find them.

Junjan Slovak proverb

“Mr Rácz is expecting you,” Freddy is told by a rather dubious-looking man in his thirties with a jacket bulging under his left armpit. He opens the double doors wide.

In the room is a huge desk at which the hotelier Rácz is sitting. Round him, three more men of suspicious appearance, but in well-tailored suits, lounge comfortably in armchairs.

Freddy crosses the long carpet and stops at the desk.

“Good day,” he says.

He looks at the hotelier.

“I’m grateful you’ve found time to see me, Mr Rácz,” he adds.

“Friends of our friends are our friends, too,” says Rácz. “I’m sure you know of the long fruitful friendship between your business partner Urban and myself. We seldom meet now, but our friendship survives.”