Unai Elorriaga: Plants Don't Drink Coffee

We went to the hospital with Aunt Martina, and Mom too, on the train. And I brought the album along to hospital, to show Dad. Because I’ve put all the picture cards in, of soccer players, and I’ve completed the album and I wanted to show Dad. But Mom told me not to bring it, because Dad is very tired and very sick, and it’s better not to bring the album to hospital. But I persuaded Mom and I told her the album is very important and it’s very difficult to complete the album and almost no one has managed it but I have, and it’s very important. And Mom said, “Very important, yes.” But she said it very slowly, and very softly, and it was difficult to understand her but in the end I did, and that’s what Mom said: “Very important, yes.” And she was looking straight ahead, at the kitchen wall. And there’s nothing on the kitchen wall. And I brought the album to the hospital.

And the hospital had a very strange smell, and Dad was in a very big room, and Mom started talking to Dad, but very softly, and Aunt Martina too, very softly, and I didn’t speak, because his eyes were a bit closed, and I sat on a chair, and placed the album on my lap. And I was holding the album with my fingers, but I was holding it very tight, with great strength, and I made some marks in the album. Because it’s a cardboard album and I was holding it very tight with my fingers, and I made some marks on the cardboard. And maybe it was because of the sweat. Because I didn’t run, because we took the train to the hospital, but my fingers were sweating. And I hadn’t played soccer, but my fingers and my hands were sweaty. And the cardboard started breaking, because my hands were very sweaty and I was holding it very tight with my fingers, and I was looking at Dad all the time. And Dad was very thin, and his hair wasn’t properly combed, and that’s odd. Dad seemed very odd, and his eyes were odd too.

And in the end I didn’t show him the album, because Dad was very thin. And I didn’t say anything in all that time, and I was looking at Dad, and the album was on my lap all that time. Mom spoke to Dad mostly, very softly, and Aunt Martina too, very softly, and Dad spoke very little. He told me one thing.

He said:

“When are we going to Madagascar, Tomas?”

And I said:

“Tomorrow.”

Madagascar is a big island, in Africa. It’s bigger than Ireland. I often trace Madagascar on maps. And Dad always says one day we’ll go to Madagascar. That’s why he said, When are we going to Madagascar, Tomas? And I said Tomorrow.

They make fishing boats in Madagascar, to go to sea, wooden ones, and there are lots of frogs, although not in the sea because frogs don’t go to the sea. Some frogs are very big in Madagascar. And some frogs are red. And they make oars there too, because you need oars to move the boats, like Uncle Simon. And it’s very hot in Madagascar, but it rains a lot too, like here.

It rained a lot here today. That’s why we can’t go for a walk, because of the rain. We had thunder, and we’ve been at home all afternoon and we’re still here. And Iñes explained how you measure thunder. It’s very easy to measure thunder: first you see the lightning, and when you see the lightning you have to count the seconds, one two three. Lightning is a very big light that gets through the windows. And when you see the lightning you have to count the seconds until you hear the thunder, one two three four. Because first you see the lightning and then you hear the thunder, a few seconds later. And if you count seven seconds, lightning fell seventy kilometers away. And if you count three seconds, then it’s thirty kilometers. And so on. And if both happen at the same time, lightning and thunder, that means lightning struck in this town, on the soccer field maybe, or on the bridges. Or on the church. Because lightning often strikes churches. Because they put these big needles on top of churches, on the roof, and those needles are like lodestones. And lodestones catch metal, and the needle on the church catches lightning. And the church won’t break. Because if lightning strikes a normal house it will break the house. Or maybe not the whole house, but the roof at least. Because lightning is very strong, like fire.

But it can’t break the church, because churches are magic houses, and nobody can break a church. And priests are magic people. Because they can speak with Jesus. But Jesus isn’t here in this town; Jesus is normally in Bethlehem. Or in Jerusalem. And sometimes Jesus is dead on the cross. And when he’s dead he can’t move his eyes and he can’t move his mouth to say things, because he’s dead. But priests still talk to Jesus when he’s dead, that’s why priests are magic people. And they know lots of prayers, and all of them by heart, and all of them from beginning to end. Maybe they know a thousand prayers, by heart. And when they are inside the church they don’t talk to anyone; when they’re inside the church they talk to themselves, looking straight ahead, and they talk to people through a microphone, like this. And the microphone is a bit magic as well. But in the street they do; in the streets priests talk to people a lot, and they visit the sick. Dad too. Don Jose comes home and he says, Still alive, Erroman? And Dad laughs, but it’s not a big laugh. And priests wear very big clothes when they say mass. And the clothes are magic too. And sometimes they are green and sometimes they are white.

We didn’t leave the house today, because of the rain and the thunder, and Uncle Simon asked: And crickets, Tomas, how many crickets did you catch? And afterwards he said: When we were kids. . and then he went silent. He looked out of the window, at the sky and the rain. He was like that for a long time. And afterwards he said: And clovers? Do you go looking for clovers, four-leaved clovers? Uncle Simon asked me that. Clover is a plant, a very small one, which brings luck. The four-leaved ones do. Because the normal ones have three leaves, and there are lots of those, and you don’t have to go looking for them, and they don’t give you luck or anything. But not many are four-leaved, like not many dragonflies are blue, and these ones bring luck. Dragonflies give you intelligence and clovers bring good luck. That’s why you must to look for clovers, four-leaved clover.

Uncle Simon told me the Irish team, the rugby one, have that on their shirts, a four-leaved clover, on the front. But I knew that already. Because all the teams have something on their shirts, an image, and that’s a symbol of theirs. And the English have a rose, and the Welsh some feathers, and the Scottish a very very strange flower, and the French a little rooster. I knew that already, because I watch many matches with Uncle Simon on TV, and I’ve noticed. Afterwards my uncle said there is clover on the golf course, but not much, it’s mostly grass, and very short grass at that. Because Uncle Simon is making a rugby field on a golf course. But he didn’t ask the owner for permission; that’s what Uncle Abel says. Uncle Abel says we’re going to have a mishap one day with Uncle Simon, because he didn’t ask the owner for permission. But Uncle Simon says: The owner? Who’s the owner of the grass, Tomas, you or me? And I tell him: Me. And then Uncle Simon asks me for permission to make a rugby field on the golf course, and I tell him OK, and we’re quite happy with that, and Uncle Abel shakes his head, and that gesture means you need a lot of patience with Uncle Simon, and with me too. Aunt Martina often makes that same gesture with her head.

But Uncle Simon has to make the rugby field, there’s no way around it. Because the rugby teams are coming to this town, the Irish and the Welsh teams. Because they are going to play a match here. And there’s no rugby field in this town, and the teams are going to arrive very soon, in two days or three. That’s why Uncle Simon has to make the rugby field and there’s no way around it. But Uncle Simon has problems, because there is a guard at the golf course. And the other day the golf course guard arrived as Gur and Mateo and Ball and him were marking the lines, the rugby field lines, on the golf course, and Uncle Simon and Gur and Mateo and Ball had to run away. And they didn’t finish painting the lines, but Uncle Simon says that’s not a big problem, that he knows how to fix it and he can fix it on the day of the match itself.