Rafik Schami - Damascus Nights

" 'Well, the king of the Isle of Wakwak bestowed every possible honor upon me and showed me tremendous hospitality. As a reward for having saved the princess he gave me a telescope through which I could see the planets. I could even see the food on the tables of the alien beings.'

" 'Ninety-seven,' the king remarked.

" 'Now for the most important detail, my king. Guess who I met on the island?' the man asked, unperturbed.

" 'Me?' the king joked.

" 'No, your mother. She was there, in prison.' "

" 'Your Majesty!' blurted one of the learned men. 'How much can your patience endure, the man is an unbelievable scoundrel!'

"But the queen mother, who was present, only smiled.

" 'Whether you believe it or not, O king, I freed her from prison with the thread of a spider and hid her in my palace, where my donkey drove away her sorrows with his harp.

" 'For fifteen days I was a guest on this island. My wife said I was away for fifteen years: well, of course a year of happiness passes more quickly than a day, and a night full of troubles becomes an eternity. During the fourteenth night I was sitting with your mother, O king. She was very sad. I asked her why. She sighed and looked at the donkey who was playing his harp for her. "Do you see this donkey?" she asked. "This donkey is smarter than my son!" '

" 'Shame upon you, you miserable boaster!' the queen mother now shouted in disgust.

"The king, however, held up his hand. 'Thirty-three,' was all he said.

" 'I didn't believe it either, but she replied, "You haven't met my son. If you are ever so unfortunate, you will understand my words. He really is dumber than a jackass." ' "

Musa took the large hairbrush and used it to brush the cuttings off the coachman's shoulders. He turned to Ali. "Pour some warm water from the kettle into this bowl so that I can soap up this hedgehog. — So, the man called the king a jackass, and then he continued: 'Since I was extremely curious about my own country and its king, I decided to come back. I have to say that your mother was mistaken, for you, O king, have made your realm a paradise. At the gates of Damascus I saw two angels crying and looking very crestfallen. "Why are you crying?" I asked them.

" 'And they said to me: "Ever since King Sadek turned Damascus into such a glorious paradise, no one wants to come to us in Heaven anymore. We've lost our daily bread. O stranger, do not go in, have mercy on us and die before you enter Damascus."

" 'But I didn't have any desire to die just then, so I stepped through the East Gate into your glory. O king, right there at the gate, one of your soldiers stopped me, kissed me, and bid me welcome with bread and honey. I was amazed at this new custom, but the soldier said you had commanded it. People everywhere were glowing with happiness, and the poor were no longer receiving alms from your viziers, no, O king, for they had been given back their land, which you had divided among your followers long ago.'

" 'That's a lie,' the king cried out indignantly and immediately recognized his defeat.

" 'The man has won his weight in gold a second time,' chirped the fool, not without joy.

" 'The farmers received horses and tools so that they could help themselves. Everything was so splendid, and every man so happy, that I just stood there, rooted to the earth in amazement. Then out of the blue a drunk ran right up to me and began to insult my mother and my father without the slightest reason. He was the son of this minister sitting on your right hand. But his noble background didn't help in the least, and a judge ordered him whipped. But before the sentence was carried out, the judge read him your law, O king, the one according to which even you should be whipped if you were to commit an injustice against any of your subjects.'

" 'That's a downright lie! I never passed any such law,' the king bellowed, and the guests roared. The jester stood on his head and cried out, 'Three times his weight in gold for this scoundrel. What a run of bad luck our king is having today!'

"The stranger went on with a straight face. 'O king, O creator of all good things in Damascus! I spent a whole day wandering about the city. When I asked passersby where I could find the prison, they simply laughed at me. What need for prisons in paradise? Children heard the word hunger for the first time from my lips. May my tongue be torn from my mouth for having bruised their delicate ears. Yes, without a doubt, I told my wife, I would like to be the king of such a country. Everything works as if guided by the hands of angels. If I were king in such a land, I would be free from all worry and would pass the time listening to lies and letting gold flow and heads roll. Why not?

" 'But your mothers words would not let me rest. I had to see for myself why your mother had cursed you, for it is rare indeed that a mother will speak badly of her own children to strangers. So I went to the palace guard and demanded an audience. The king will not receive a mangy dog like you, replied the watchman. Nonetheless, I strode right through the gate with my head held high. The watchman raised his sword and let it fall upon me. How on earth did the poor fellow know that this was the one day I had forgotten to rub myself with the ant's milk. The sword landed on my head and I keeled over dead.'

" 'You're lying,' cried the king. 'You're still alive!'

" 'Four times in gold,' shouted the fool.

" 'Alive?' said the man. 'You call this being alive? Forgive me, O king, your mother was right after all!'

"The stranger stood up and, together with his wife, walked away.

" 'But wait! You have won four times your weight in gold!' cried the king. But the man did not turn back, not even once.

"So that's my story. Now I have entrusted it to you, keep it safe and tell it to the next person. And as for you, my dear Salim, I have shaved your beard without a single cut. Isn't that amazing?"

When Salim got up, Ali took the newspaper, which was covered with cut hair, rolled it into a ball, and carried it out to the trash.

"Are you tired?" asked Tuma. But Salim felt refreshed after his shave. The friends sat together for a long time and amused themselves by comparing examples of the government's lies.

When the clock tower struck twelve, Musa yawned aloud. Isam placed three cards on the table. "There aren't many left!" he noted.

Ali leaned back. "You are the oldest of the three of us. If there really is such a thing as respect for age, the ace should jump into your hand." The former minister smiled and nodded, for he, too, was happy to let Isam go first. Isam studied the three cards and chose the one on the right.

It was indeed the ace of spades. Far off in the distance

they heard thunder, as if wild

horsemen were galloping toward

Damascus.

Isam, the former prisoner, really didn't need to busy himself with vegetables, chickpeas, and cheap songbirds. By the time he was released, his two sons had grown up and become respected auto mechanics. Their shop was known throughout Damascus. The two brothers also owned a large house with a garden in the fashionable Salihiya district, and Isam and his wife lived in one wing of this mansion. Their sons saw to their parents' every need. A housekeeper cared for them as devotedly as if she were their own daughter. The brothers begged Isam to rest after the hardships he had endured in prison, and to enjoy himself. But he cast all their entreaties to the wind and refused to give up his trading. Out of love for his sons, and so that no one would speak ill of them, Isam confined his peddling to the more remote streets of Damascus. However, rain was the only thing that could keep him from going to the Friday market to sell his songbirds.