Marek Hlasko - Killing the Second Dog

I turned the door knob and went in. I crossed to the empty dining room; so did the cat. I went into the bedroom and switched on the light. Azderbal wasn’t there; only his girl friend, and she was a heavy sleeper. I sat on the bed next to her, trying to gather my thoughts and decide why I’d come here. Then I remembered the bouncer who’d invested in us, the gorilla waiting for me at the beach, and also Johnny’s father, who would probably knock me out with one blow. I looked at the cat who sat devotedly at my feet.

“Come here, Stanislaw,” I said to the cat, and it jumped on my lap. The girl woke up and lay there staring at us. “His name is Stanislaw,” I told her.

“What do you want?”

“Money,” I said. “I intend to sell Stanislaw to you. Where is that he-man of yours?”

“He’s gone to Haifa.”

“When will he be back?”

“In two days.”

“I can’t wait that long. You have to give me two hundred and thirty pounds. Once you do, Stanislaw is yours.”

“Why did you come to me?”

“Because I’m crazy. And so are you. Who do you think I should have gone to?”

“And if I refuse to buy Stanislaw?”

“You’d better not. Or I’ll force you to.”

She got up from the bed and went to the mirror. She tidied her hair; watching her I could swear she wanted to make herself look attractive not only for me but for Stanislaw, too.

“Would you like a drink?”

“I wouldn’t mind some brandy,” I said. “Do you have any in the fridge?”

“Why don’t you check?”

I went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of brandy and a fish for Stanislaw. Then I returned to the bedroom and poured a glass for each of us.

“How much do you need?” she asked me after a moment.

“Two hundred and thirty pounds,” I said. “That includes tomorrow’s breakfast. I have to pay for my hotel.”

“So far you’ve always moved out without paying the bill and it never bothered you. Once you even left a girl behind and she had to pay. I was that girl, remember?”

“That’s not a bad idea. How come I didn’t think of it earlier? I’ll do what you say.”

“You need the money for some woman. There’s a woman involved, isn’t there?”

“Yes.”

“And you don’t want to play a dirty trick on her.”

“I can’t just move out,” I said. “Robert already paid for the hotel. And it wasn’t our money. We have to pay back what we owe or we’ll be in trouble.”

“Come off it. You’re never in trouble. Even if a hundred women refuse to give you money, you still always find one.”

The cat finished eating the fish and meowed. I got up, took out another fish from the fridge, and gave it to him.

“Poor old male whore,” she said, staring at me. “Has to go chasing around in the night while everybody else sleeps, and no one will give him any money.”

“You will,” I said. “Would you like another drink?”

“Yes, please.”

We drank some more brandy. I stared at her legs and realized she was still quite pretty.

“Five years ago you must have looked like a fresh flower,” I said. “Did you wear white dresses?”

“Yes.”

“Do you still have them?”

She went to her wardrobe and took one out.

“Nobody wears long dresses anymore,” she said. “They’ve gone out of fashion.”

“Put it on.”

She stared at the dress for a moment, then threw it on the bed. She sat down at the table and poured herself half a glass.

“Do you still drink as much?” I asked.

“And you?”

“I can’t afford it. Anyway Robert hates alcohol.”

“So what do you do with the money you score?”

“Nothing much. We go to the movies. Robert eats a lot. Our expenses run high.”

“I only have a hundred pounds,” she said. “I’ll give it to you.”

She took five twenties out of her purse and handed them to me. I put them in my pocket.

“Wait,” she said. “I forgot something.”

She stretched out her hand and I gave her the bills back. She threw them on the floor, and bent down and spat on them.

“You can take them now. They’re all yours.”

I leaned over and picked up the bills. When I looked at her, she burst into tears and flung herself on the bed.

“Go away,” she said after a while.

So I did.

As I walked back along the empty streets, I could tell the wind had changed direction. The sky over the sea was beginning to pale, which made me feel a little better. I knew the khamsin would stop blowing soon. I was about to turn toward my hotel when suddenly I remembered my friend the hunchback who had trouble sleeping at night, too, and was probably sitting in front of the john in the hotel on Allenby Street. I felt like talking to him, so I climbed up the stairs and tiptoed past Harry, who was sleeping with a detective novel in his hand. I glanced at the cover; it was the one where Mike Hammer shot his girlfriend in the belly with his.45. I had read it in prison. Mickey Spillane’s novels weren’t allowed in jail, and for that reason they were the most popular books there. I remembered I had to pay three or four cigarettes for reading that one.

The hunchback was sitting in his usual spot.

“I can’t sleep,” I said.

“You’re telling me.”

“Do you have any sleeping pills?”

He raised his eyebrows. “You’re the one who should have them. Or have you quit your profession?”

I looked at my watch. “Four o’clock. Too late to take any pills. I’d need at least six hours to sleep them off.”

“How’s business?”

“Fine. How about your priests? Did they give you the money?”

“Yes. Last night. They also gave me a book about missionaries. I’m reading it now. I just found out the most missionaries ever murdered were in China.”

“Listen, do you still want a broad? I have an idea.”

“What?”

“Come with me. You won’t have to pay anything.”

He looked doubtful. “You mean it?”

“Sure. We’ll play a complicated joke on somebody.”

“Wait, I’ll just take some charcoal pills. My goddamn stomach …”

When we arrived at Azderbal’s apartment, the lights were already out. The hunchback slipped quickly into her bed, and I left. I woke around eleven, feeling much better. I thought of the girl; she must have had a terrible hangover and a hunchback was just what she needed in 105° heat. Then I decided I wouldn’t split the money she gave me with Robert, and my mood improved even more. I’m always sublimely happy when I hit on a scheme to con a partner. Nothing can quite compare with that state of bliss and contentment. I showered and went downstairs for breakfast, bowing to all the ladies I met on the way. I ordered four scrambled eggs. Robert looked sleepy and pale and had big circles under his eyes; sharing a bed with the bouncer wasn’t the most comfortable way to spend the night. After breakfast we walked out to the beach. Azderbal’s girl friend must have wakened by then and discovered it wasn’t me who had returned in the middle of the night to cover her with caresses. God knows what is really funny.

In the afternoon we took the bus to Jaffa. Robert knew a fellow there who had a dog for sale, but somehow we couldn’t find him. We went to a cafe we knew he frequented and ordered coffee. The man finally showed up and said he’d get the dog.

“You know something, Robert?” I said after the man left. “Last night I forgot my lines and since you weren’t there, I made them up myself.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her it’s all an act, that we’re after the money.”

“You didn’t!” he exclaimed, turning pale.

“I did. But don’t worry, she didn’t believe me. It came out beautifully. I’ll always do it from now on.”