Tao Lin - Richard Yates

“Do you think you’re a good influence on her?” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Do you think you’re a better influence on her than I am?” he said.

“I’m her mother, I’m nearly twice your age,” shouted Dakota Fanning’s mother.

Haley Joel Osment felt himself talking very loudly and shaking a little. Dakota Fanning was also talking very loudly. “Shut up,” screamed Dakota Fanning’s mother. “Shut up. Shut up.” She bent at her waist and moved her face very close to Haley Joel Osment’s face and screamed “Shut up.” Haley Joel Osment was sitting on the edge of the bed. Dakota Fanning’s mother walked away a little. Haley Joel Osment said she was acting like a 4-year-old boy. “You are a terrible influence on Dakota,” he said loudly. “You get angry all the time, you scream ‘shut up’ and ‘fuck you’ at people all the time, do you think that’s good? It’s really bad. Being that angry all the time is really bad, you need to see a therapist not Dakota Fanning.”

“I’ve been looking for a good therapist,” said Dakota Fanning’s mother calmly. “Charlene recommended one that I think is good, I’d like to start once my insurance gets approved, I’ve just been so busy lately. A good therapist can really help, I know. I’ve had a good one before and it really helped, and I’m glad Dakota is seeing a therapist, and I hope Dakota’s father and brother can see that they also need to see therapists. I think they will.”

“When do I scream ‘fuck you’ at people?” she said in an amused voice.

“You scream ‘fuck you’ at people in cars when you’re driving, that is dangerous,” said Haley Joel Osment. “You do it while Dakota is in the car and it’s dangerous. You even screamed ‘fuck off’ at the dog.”

“Aladdin?” said Dakota Fanning’s mother and laughed. “He was in my way.” She looked at Haley Joel Osment with an amused facial expression. She walked away. Haley Joel Osment shouted that she was acting like a child. She laughed in the hallway walking away.

“Why is she laughing?” said Haley Joel Osment. “She’s like happy suddenly.”

“She’s a cheese beast,” said Dakota Fanning.

“I thought she was going to headbutt me or slap me.”

“Were you afraid?” said Dakota Fanning.

“I don’t know. I think I just kept thinking she could go to jail if she hit me and then we could live somewhere.” Dakota Fanning talked about how she didn’t have an eating disorder while Haley Joel Osment was at her house. They talked about Dakota Fanning maybe going to live with her father in Albany. They talked about calling the police to liberate Dakota Fanning before she turned 18. Dakota Fanning had said on Gmail chat that her mother abused her when she was small and that one time she said she was going to call the police and her mother laughed at her. Dakota Fanning said if they called the police her mother would talk about Haley Joel Osment to them. Haley Joel Osment said he probably didn’t break any laws. Dakota Fanning said the police could do things to Haley Joel Osment even if he didn’t break any laws.

Dakota Fanning’s mother said she was too tired to drive Haley Joel Osment to the restaurant.

The next night after work she said there wasn’t time to drive Haley Joel Osment to the restaurant before Dakota Fanning’s therapist appointment. Haley Joel Osment and Dakota Fanning talked in the backseat on the way to the therapist’s house. “Stop whispering to each other,” said Dakota Fanning’s mother looking in the rearview mirror. “It’s rude. If you want to say something say it so everyone in the car can hear.” Dakota Fanning said they were speaking at a normal volume. “We aren’t like you, we don’t scream everything,” she said. “It’s rude to keep talking when no one wants to hear what you have to say. That’s what you do, you keep talking when no one is even listening to you.” They parked on the street outside the therapist’s house. Dakota Fanning and her mother talked loudly outside the car. Haley Joel Osment heard Dakota Fanning scream “Don’t touch me” and “Let go of my arm.”

He left the car and said to Dakota Fanning’s mother that she was acting like a 4-year-old boy and that she was a bad person. Dakota Fanning said she would go to therapy but that this was the last time. Her mother walked away. They were in a neighborhood of three-story houses. Dakota Fanning showed Haley Joel Osment bruises on her arm. She went in the therapist’s house. Haley Joel Osment sat alone in the car reading The Myth of Neurosis which said psychotherapy was destructive to people’s self-esteem, often confused unhappiness with mental illness, encouraged excuses and dependency while discouraging hard work and will power. Dakota Fanning and her mother came in the car. Haley Joel Osment apologized for saying Dakota Fanning’s mother was a bad person. Dakota Fanning’s mother said something about Haley Joel Osment’s age. She said Dakota Fanning’s hair looked bad.

On the gravel parking lot outside the restaurant Haley Joel Osment stood by the driver’s-side window. “Thank you for letting me stay at your house and use your car,” he said.

“Thank you for aiding my daughter in lying to me,” said Dakota Fanning’s mother.

“That was bad,” said Haley Joel Osment after a second. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

They looked at each other with vaguely neutral facial expressions.

Haley Joel Osment went in the back door of the restaurant which hadn’t reopened yet.

The next afternoon on Gmail chat he asked Dakota Fanning if she told her mother he was against lying and had been encouraging her not to lie. “I told her that you told me not to lie to my dad and that you are working to help me stop lying for everything to anyone,” said Dakota Fanning.

“What did she say?” said Haley Joel Osment.

“She just said ‘I don’t want to talk about anything right now, my body is about to shut down.’ ”

“She thought I was being sarcastic when I said ‘thanks’ I think,” said Haley Joel Osment.

“Maybe, because she was sarcastic later. Yes. Don’t worry. She’s just a beast.”

“She kept saying ‘it looked bad’ about your hair, not that we didn’t keep our promise not to do anything that would upset her,” said Haley Joel Osment. “She was confused.”

“Yes. I don’t think she really understood what she was upset about or thinking.”

Haley Joel Osment asked Dakota Fanning what she did today and they talked about that a few minutes.

“Are you worried that I’m lying?” said Dakota Fanning.

“A little. If you lied to me today please tell me.”

Dakota Fanning said she didn’t lie today.

That night Haley Joel Osment emailed Dakota Fanning that his cell phone was broken and he missed her and Microsoft Paint drawings of Sean Strub wearing Aladdin on his head like a turban and a Buddhist Tyrannosaurus Rex floating in outer space.

Dakota Fanning emailed Microsoft Paint drawings of Werner Herzog floating in outer space thinking “I have too much experience in this business for this” and Werner Herzog riding the Loch Ness Monster with “our underwater ally” in black font and the filename werner.nessie.bff.jpg. The email said her brother was supposed to be home from college four hours ago but never showed up and that her mother yelled at her when she was exercising. “Thank you for letting me know about your cell phone,” said the email. “I wish we could cook together. I feel alone. The beast is calm now and has retreated to the lair to watch Sex and the City . I miss you. I want to hug you. Thank you for doing so many things with me during the week and driving so much. I’m glad we got to spend time alone. You can come for Thanksgiving. My mom said she invited you last week or something. She said ‘I’m not happy with either of your behaviors right now but he can come.’ ”