Carrie Fisher - Postcards from the Edge

“ (sniff) Aahhh. Oooh. (sniff) Oh, I’ll tell you, this reminds me of so many nights… God, I’m getting such déjà vu, I feel like… I was gonna say I feel like I’ve done this before. I mean, obviously I’ve done this before, but it just reminds me of something so great, you know?

“Fuck her? No, you don’t fuck in the rehab, but I’m gonna be seeing her again. She’ll probably star in this thing. So, can I have the blow? Oh, right. Here’s the cash, and here’s my watch. I really appreciate this. I’m sorry I was so nuts when I came in. Can I have one more… Here, let me give you a hit. I’m feeling very generous tonight.

“ (sniff) Ooh, this is good. This is better than what you usually get, isn’t it? (sniff) Oh, ooohhh! Maybe I could have a beer to take with me for the drive? I’m gonna drive out to the desert, unwind there, and just get away from everybody and write this thing. Thanks, man. Okay, great.”

This beer is really good. A little beer, a little drive, I’m feeling fine. Glad to be away from that guy, though. He gives me the creeps. Where’s my knife? There we go, there we go.

“ (sniff) Ahh. (sniff) Aaahh.”

What the hell, one more.

“ (sniff) Mmmmhh! (sniff) Ahh! (sniff) (sniff) ”

I’m glad no one can see me. They’d think I was quite the pig. Okay, the idea’s forming in my mind. There’s this guy who doesn’t normally take that much drugs, and he’s spending the evening with some friends from school or something and he gets in this really good mood and they tell him to try some Ecstasy and he does and he gets in this great mood and they talk him into trying heroin and he ends up in a rehab where he does not belong. But when he gets there he meets all these incredible people, like Carl—he’d make a good character for a movie. He was a bad one for real life, but a lot of those people I hated in the clinic were great movie characters. Oooh, this is the thing to write with. Hell, a lot of people write with drugs. I heard Lewis Carroll wrote all of Through the Looking Glass on mushrooms, and Edgar Allan Poe was a laudanum freak. Freud, Sherlock Holmes… It’s so good to be out of the hospital, out of the movies, just out . I’m out .

“(sniff) (sniff)”

My ear squeaked. I wonder if… There’s that drip in the back of my throat. Great… I’m feeling real edgy, though, I don’t think it’s the blow, this is good blow, but I don’t want to drive anymore. I feel cooped up in this car. I should… I know. Why go to the desert? Fuck it. I’ll check into the Ramada Inn. They probably have some writing paper and a pen, and I’ll start to outline this idea. Ramada Inn. I pass this place a lot, and I’ve always wondered… Let me just do a couple of hits to get me to the room.

“ (sniff) (sniff) (sniff) (sniff) Ooooww!”

Shit, I’ve gotta chop this when I get upstairs, it’s really chunky.

“(sniff)”

Okay, I think I’m cool. All right. Go in…

“Yeah, uh, hi. I’d like a room for two or three nights. No, I… No luggage, just this… Some groceries. Yeah, I eat special foods.”

None of your fuckin’ business, man.

“Is there a pool here? Oh, great. Great.”

That’ll be nice, I’ll get some color. This is perfect, this is perfect. I’ll do some writing, I’ll do some swimming, I’ll lose some weight… I’m sweating. God, it’s hot in this lobby.

“No, I don’t need the bellboy. Just… What floor? Eight? Great.”

Jesus, they do look at you weird if you don’t have luggage. But I do have luggage. I have my beautiful blushing white bride here. Oooh, my hand is shaking, I wonder what that… I must be starved. I’m not hungry, but… I’ll order something from room service when I get upstairs. Christ , where’s the fucking elevator? Jesus…

“No, I’m fine. Here, let me sign for this. Let’s see, six Long Island iced teas, two Smirnoffs, hamburger, French fries, and cake. Yeah, great. Thanks. No, don’t come back. I’ll put the tray in the hall. No, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m just… I have a little flu. Thanks.”

Who did that guy think he was, prying into my life? Get him off of me. Yeccch, look at that burger, it’s alive . And that soggy bun, those greasy fries. This is an American hotel, you’d think they’d at least be able to…

I’m getting very jumpy. Very, very jumpy. This food made me very tense. I should write. I should chop a couple of lines and then really get down to work. Why can’t there be a dimmer in this room? I feel like I’m in the dentist’s office. Let me have some of this drink… That’s what I needed. Obviously I needed to have a little drink. And now a nice fat line, and then down to work.

“ (sniff) Ouch! (sniff) Owww!”

Fucking fuck! There’s cut in this, I know it! I’ll put some under my tongue. I wish someone was here to blow it into the back of my throat, but then I’d have to talk to them. Okay, where’s that paper? Okay, here we go.

I wonder if they have… They do, they have cable. Let’s just see what’s on MTV. It’s that blond bimbo so it must be pretty late. What time… Oh, right, I gave him my watch…

So, what’s my idea? What’s my idea? Let me just do one more line…

“ (sniff) Oowwww! (sniff) Ooohh!”

I wonder if they have a pharmacy open. I could use some Vaseline for my right nostril… All right, all right. So, a guy has an allergic reaction to drugs, but they think he overdosed so they put him in a clinic. Such a great concept. I mean, it’s practically written. Whew, we’re rolling now.

“(sniff) (sniff)”

Oooh, my heart is racing… One of those vodkas. Okay, we’re totally rolling now. The guy feels haunted by his parents, like in Frances , his parents are… Why would they put him in the clinic against his… They’re crazy. They’re drug addicts. No, they’re not drug addicts, but they don’t want to take care of him anymore. He’s old, though… Have another hit.

“ (sniff) (sniff) Aaah.”

I wish I had some cigarettes. I don’t smoke, though. So, the parents put him in because they’re drug addicts. No, because… An inheritance. An inheritance is always good. But they’re his parents, wouldn’t they leave him his inheritance? No, because he was his grandfather’s favorite grandson and he was left all the money, but the parents get to execute his estate if he’s somehow proven to be disabled. Perfect! That’s totally perfect! So, he’s an heir to a fortune. The muse is upon me.

“(sniff) (sniff)”

Oooh, I think I’m gonna be sick. That hamburger. Get it out of here, put it in the hallway… That’s better. Okay, he’s in the clinic and he meets this actress—maybe he’s a musician or a songwriter—and she falls in love with him and he helps nurse her back to health. Then they escape the clinic together, and there’s this whole chase sequence where people like Stan— lots of people like Stan—come after them and try and keep her loaded. Why? Why would they try and keep her loaded?

“(sniff) (sniff)”

So that she’ll do commercials about the clinic, and write articles about drug addiction and make them famous. I think I’m on to something… I gotta take off my clothes. Clothes are sticking to me… I… Really, I think this is great. How can they say drugs are bad?…

What if they don’t like it? I feel so frightened all of a sudden. What if it’s not a good idea? What if Suzanne won’t be in it? Oooh, I don’t feel good. Take a drink… Ice is melting… I wonder why they call this Long Island iced tea. Maybe I should call this movie Long Island Iced Tea.