Джеймс Кейн - Mildred Pierce

She had hardly stood up to survey the general effect when there came a tap on the door, and Veda, in her most syrupy Christmas voice, asked: “May I come in?” Mildred managed a soft smile, and opened the door. Suddenly Veda was smothering her with kisses, wishing a merry Christmas to “you darling, darling Mother!” Then, just as suddenly, the kisses stopped and so did the greetings. Veda was staring at the Pierce upright, and by the look on her face Mildred knew she had been told about the grand, by Bert, by Monty, by the cashier at the bank, by somebody — and had expected to see it there, as a fine surprise, this Christmas morning.

Mildred licked her lips, opened her mouth to make explanations, but at the cold look on Veda’s face, she couldn’t. Nervously she said something about there being a great many presents, and hadn’t Veda better make a list, so she would be sure who sent what? Veda made no reply, but stooped down and began pulling ribbons. When she got to the wristwatch she examined it with casual interest, laid it aside without comment. At this Mildred went back to her bedroom, lay down on the bed, tried to stop trembling. The trembling went on. Presently the bell rang, and she heard Bert’s voice. Going to the living room again, she was in time to hear Veda ecstatically thank him for the riding boots he had given her, and call him “you darling, darling Father.” A little scene ensued, with Bert saying the boots could be exchanged if they weren’t the right fit, and Veda trying them on. They were perfect, said Veda, and she wasn’t going to take them off all day. She was even going to sleep in them.

But Veda never once looked at Mildred, and the trembling kept on. In a few minutes Mildred asked Bert if he was ready, and he said any time she was. They went to the kitchen for the flowers they were going to put on Ray’s grave, but Bert quickly closed the door. Jerking his thumb toward the living room he asked: “What’s the matter with her? She sick?”

“It’s about the piano. What with the bar and one thing and another I couldn’t get it. This Christmas, I mean. But somebody kindly tipped her off.”

“Not me.”

“I didn’t say so.”

“What did you give her?”

“A wristwatch. It was a nice watch, a little one, the kind they’re all wearing, and you’d think she’d at least—”

But the trembling had reached Mildred’s mouth by now, and she couldn’t finish. Bert put his arm around her, patted her. Then he asked: “Is she coming with us?”

“I don’t know.”

They went out the back door to get the car out of the garage, and Mildred drove. As they were backing down the drive, Bert told her to hold it. Then, lightly, he tapped the horn. After a few seconds, he tapped it again. There was no response from the house. Mildred eased into the street, and they drove to the cemetery. Mildred threaded her way slowly along the drive, so as not to disturb the hundreds of others who were out there too. When they came to the Pierce plot she stopped and they got out. Taking the flowers, they walked over to the little marker that had been placed there by the Pierces a short time before. It was a plain white stone, with the name, and under it the dates of the brief little life. Bert mumbled: “They wanted to put a quotation on it, ‘Suffer the little children,’ whatever it is, but I remembered you like things plain.”

“I like it just like it is.”

“And another thing they wanted to put on it was: ‘Erected by her loving grandparents Adrian and Sarah,’ but I told them ‘Hey, keep your shirt on. You’ll get your names in this marble orchard soon enough without trying to beat the gun in any way.’ ”

This struck Mildred as funny, and she started to titter, but somewhere down the drive a child began to laugh. Then a great lump rose in her throat and Bert quickly walked away. As she stood there she could hear him behind her, walking back and forth. She stood a long time. Then she put the flowers on the grave, paused for one last look, turned, and took his arm. He laced his fingers through hers, squeezed hard.

When Mildred got home, she found Veda exactly where she had left her: in the chair near the Christmas tree, the boots still on, staring malevolently at the Pierce upright. Mildred sat down and opened a package Bert had brought with him when he came, a jar of preserved strawberries from Mrs. Biederhof. For a few moments, except for the crackle of paper, there was silence. Then, in her clearest, most affected drawl, Veda said: “Christ, but I hate this dump.”

“Is there anything in particular that you object to?”

“Oh, no, Mother, not at all, not at all — and I do hope you don’t begin changing things around, just to please me. No, there’s nothing in particular. I just hate every lousy, stinking part of it, and if it were to burn down tomorrow I wouldn’t shed a furtive tear from the Elixir of Love, by Gaetano Donizetti, seventeen ninety-eight-eighteen forty-eight.”

“I see.”

Veda picked up a package of the cigarettes Mildred kept on hand for Monty, lit one, and threw the match on the floor. Mildred’s face tightened. “You’ll put out that cigarette and pick up the match.”

“I will like hell.”

Mildred got up, took careful aim, and slapped Veda hard, on the cheek. The next thing she knew, she was dizzy from her head to her heels, and it seemed seconds before she realized, from the report that was ringing in her ears, that Veda had slapped her back. Blowing smoke into Mildred’s face, Veda went on, in her cool, insolent tone: “Glendale, California, Land where the Orange Tree Blows, from Mignon, by Ambroise Thomas, eighteen eleven-eighteen ninety-six. Forty square miles of nothing whatever. A high-class, positively-restricted development for discriminating people that run filling stations, and furniture factories, and markets, and pie wagons. The garden spot of the world — in the pig’s eye. A wormhole, for grubs!”

“Where did you hear that?”

Mildred had sat down, but at these last words she looked up. She was wholly familiar with Veda’s vocabulary, and she knew that this phrase was not part of it. At her question, Veda came over, leaned down close. “Why the poor goddam sap — do you think he’d marry you?”

“If I were willing, yes.”

“Oh! Yee gods and little fishes hear my cynical laughter, from Pagliacci, by Ruggiero Leoncavallo, eighteen fifty-eight-nine teen nineteen. If you were willing—! Pardon me while I regain my shattered composure. Stupid, don’t you know what he sees in you?”

“About what you see, I think.”

“No — it’s your legs.”

“He — told you — that?”

“Why certainly.”

Veda’s manner showed that she relished Mildred’s consternation. “Of course he told me. We’re very good friends, and I hope I have a mature point of view on these matters. Really, he speaks very nicely about your legs. He has a theory about them. He says a gingham apron is the greatest provocation ever invented by woman for the torture of man, and that the very best legs are found in kitchens, not in drawing rooms. ‘Never take the mistress if you can get the maid,’ is the way he puts it. And another thing, he says a pretty varlet is always agreeably grateful, and not too exacting, with foolish notions about matrimony and other tiresome things. I must say I find his social theories quite fascinating.”

Veda went on at some length, snapping her cigarette and when it went out lighting another one and throwing the match on the floor. But for some time Mildred found her taunts nothing but a jumble. She was so stunned at the discovery that this man, whom she had put up with because he brought Veda closer to her, had all the time been sneering at her behind her back, making fun of her most intimate relations with him, setting the child against her, that every part of her seemed to have turned to jelly. Presently, however, words began to have meaning again, and she heard Veda saying: “After all, Mother, even in his darkest days, Monty’s shoes are custom made.”