Giacomo Sartori - I Am God

One more proof humans are intrinsically selfish; I see no reason why they should spend their days coupling, or thinking about coupling, while I may not even take a legitimate wife.

And mind you, (wo)men adore injustices. If I were to counter all the existing cruelties, they’d wrack their brains to come up with even more horrendous ones, even more ferocious. You can’t expect a hippopotamus to walk a tightrope, or a giraffe to fly.

Physical appearance has always had an exaggerated importance for the humans, according to them for reasons linked to so-called “evolution.” By choosing attractive mates the women hope to produce strapping young offspring. The men are likewise convinced that a pleasing appearance will guarantee against disease and frailty. It’s difficult to see why, now that they’ve cleverly found ways around mere evolution, good looks should count even more.

I sometimes think that if he were to come back in these times when money has become sacred, he would be a terrorist. No more turning the other cheek to receive a fresh kick in the backside.

One of the great problems non-believers face, when push comes to shove, is that there’s no one to turn to. Reason and Science never came to anyone’s aid in a pinch. And why should they?

If there’s any church that reveals how badly off human beings are, now that they’ve rid themselves of Me, it’s the supermarket; I can’t disagree with her.

They even project this shortcoming of theirs on yours truly; it’s just impossible to have a mature relationship with them.

If I may, her reaction is just one more example of the utter inconsistency of human beings. They want something, and when they get it, they complain.

This matter of addressing potential readers, as if anyone really could read this, and requesting their aid—well, I didn’t plan this, I swear.

If there’s a theological question, just one, on which I’m completely in agreement with my beloved (I allow myself the expression since this is merely a footnote, of the kind usually skipped over), it is this.

If they did speak, they’d immediately begin to screw around, get fired up, make war. Sparrows versus chaffinches, fleas versus lice, dark gray hippos versus pale gray hippos, and so on.

However, reader, I don’t intend to bore you with his adventures among the marsupials and the descendants of British colonial thieves. When a character leaves the stage he’s gone and it would be crazy to put the klieg lights on him again. Is he still involved with the Tyrolean push-up girl from the plane? That’s his business! He can do as he likes in Australia, nobody cares anymore.

I might well opt for judgment by sin categories, like the plan outlined by Mr. Dante Alighieri, rather than take up an infinite number of individual cases one by one. I mean, who says I have to?