Cecelia Ahern - How to Fall in Love

‘Okay, so he’s not trying to get you back.’

‘No. He’s bitter. Quite twisted at the moment. I don’t think he’s aiming for a reconciliation.’

‘Tell your friend it’s not true.’

I looked at him.

‘Oh. It is true. So you do pee in the shower?’ he teased.

I was thanking the darkness for hiding my scarlet face.

‘Well, maybe not everything is true.’

‘It’s true!’ He chuckled to himself.

‘I had a mosquito bite, a really bad one. He walked in on me trying to … well, you know.’

‘You pissed on your mosquito bite?’ He started laughing.

‘Sshh,’ I punched his arm. ‘Anyway, it didn’t work,’ I added and we both laughed.

His phone signalled a voicemail.

‘That was a long one,’ I said. ‘Let me hear.’

‘Adam, it’s me.’ Her voice was soft, gentle, it was clear how she was feeling, I didn’t need to hear any more, but I listened all the same. ‘I got your cake,’ she laughed. ‘It’s the ugliest, most disgustingly thoughtful cake I’ve ever received. I’ll never forget that day. That was the day we first kissed, with those teeth in our mouths,’ she laughed. ‘Thank you. You’re crazy.’ She laughed again. ‘I missed that part of you, but … I feel like you’re back. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I felt so … lost, I was worried. I didn’t know what to do. Sean, he was … there and he cared and … he really cares about you too, you know. Don’t hate him. Anyway, thank you. I’m calling to say thank you. I need to see you, call me – okay?’

Adam was grinning from ear to ear.

He lifted me up and spun me around in the air and I laughed so loudly in the dark cold empty street that it drifted towards Maria outside the restaurant. But we needn’t have worried; all she would have seen was a couple in the dark, having fun together, hiding in the shadows, quite possibly in love.

16

How to Organise and Simplify Your Life

When we returned to the flat, take-away bags in our hands, we saw the lights still on in Amelia’s bookshop. It was ten p.m.

‘That’s bizarre,’ I said. ‘Here, you go on ahead,’ I handed him the keys to the flat. ‘Stay away from glass and electrics. I’m going to check if she’s okay.’

He rolled his eyes. ‘I’ll come with you.’

Amelia opened the door as soon as we walked towards her, as though she had been standing there waiting for us. Her eyes were wide and urgent. I looked around. A table had been set up with wine, cheese and crackers, there were five empty bottles of wine on the table. The bookcases had been cleared from the centre of the shop and in their place were chairs, four rows of four, with a handful of people sitting before a podium where a woman was reading aloud from a book. Her hair was a beautiful long, flowing vibrant grey, and she was wearing a slinky black dress with a low neckline revealing a toned and rather oiled-up décolletage.

Elaine turned and waved at us excitedly before quickly turning back to face the speaker.

‘Who is that?’ I whispered.

‘Irma Livingstone,’ Amelia replied, rolling her eyes. ‘I curse the day I ever said yes to Elaine. Irma’s her teacher at the “How to Fall in Love” course, and Elaine thought it would be a wonderful idea to bring her here and ask her to read from her book. She’s been reading for an hour.’

Amelia handed me the book. How to Own Your Erogenous Zone .

‘Why? Who owns mine right now?’ I asked, glancing over it unimpressed before Adam plucked it from my hands.

An old man in the front row had fallen asleep and was snoring loudly, a young bookish woman was scribbling copious notes, and one man seemed to be trying to hide a very large erection, unbeknown to Elaine, who was making eyes at him in the hope of getting a date.

Irma noticed Adam’s presence. ‘I was going to finish there, but I see we have company. Next I’ll read chapter four: the pleasure of pleasuring yourself with your partner. I should warn you, this is quite an erotic passage – if you’ll pardon the pun.’ She smiled at Adam.

‘Great,’ Adam grinned at me. ‘I love erotic passages. You girls go and talk. Toodle pips.’

I couldn’t help but laugh as Irma’s honey voice started to slowly, sensuously read her erotic passage.

Once we were in the quiet of Amelia’s home above the shop we could talk. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m okay.’ Amelia sat down, looking tired. ‘It’s quiet without her. Lonely.’

‘I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you.’

‘You have. Besides, you have enough going on with Simon and Adam and Barry. And Adam,’ she added with a little smile.

‘Stop.’ I shook my head, not able to go there.

‘Barry sent me a nice text about Mum.’

‘Well, that’s good to hear, for a change.’

‘How are things going with Adam?’

‘Fine. Good. He’s getting there, you know. Soon he’ll be okay on his own. He won’t need me any more so … It’s great.’ I heard the shake in my voice and how fake and ridiculous it sounded.

‘Sure.’ Amelia smiled. ‘You’re very good to help him.’

‘Yeah, well, he’s going through a tough time.’

‘Uh-huh.’ Amelia was biting her lip to stop smiling.

‘Stop.’ I shoved her gently. ‘I’m trying to be serious here.’

‘I know, I can see that.’ Amelia laughed. Then her smile quickly turned to a frown.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘I’ve been going through her things.’ She stood up and retrieved papers from a kitchen drawer. ‘And I found these.’

She handed me a bundle of papers. There was too much to take in, so I looked at her. ‘Tell me what I’m looking at.’

‘A storage unit. In Mum’s name. She never told me anything about it, which is odd, because I took care of all her affairs. It was paid for by direct debit from an account I don’t recognise.’

She showed me the number. I wasn’t expecting to recognise it, but I did. It was the account my rent went to each month. Dad’s company. Amelia missed my reaction and so I swallowed, waiting to see where this was leading.

‘I wouldn’t have known anything if I hadn’t found this envelope with a key in it and details of the storage unit. It’s from ten years ago. Look at the address on the envelope.’

The postal address was that of Rose and Daughters Solicitors.

‘Do you know anything about it?’

‘No,’ I said. ‘Definitely not.’ Amelia’s look told me she didn’t believe me. ‘Okay, not until two seconds ago when I saw the account number. Amelia, I promise you they never mentioned anything to me. They’re handling your mum’s will, aren’t they?’

She nodded.

‘Is there any mention of the contents of the storage unit in the will?’

‘I don’t know, I haven’t been into your dad yet to hear it. But … I really thought I knew what was in Mum’s will. We’ve talked about it.’

‘Let’s ask my dad.’ I took out my phone. ‘Simple, we’ll solve this right now.’

‘No.’ Amelia took the phone from my hand. ‘No. No quick fix-its right now.’ Seeing my offended expression, she explained: ‘What if your dad tells me I can’t go in there?’

‘He won’t say that. Why would he? Her property is your property now.’

‘What if I’m not supposed to know about it? As soon as we ask him, I’ll be sealing my fate. I want to go and find out what’s in there for myself.’ I watched as her eyes clouded and she became lost in a thousand thoughts in her head. ‘Why would she go to all this trouble for me not to see what’s in there?’

The following day Amelia and Adam and I made our way down the corridor of ‘Store-Age’ a self-storage facility situated in a large retail park in Dublin. The doors on the units were luminous pink, as was the logo, to make it visible to traffic on the nearby motorway. It was enough to give me a headache, especially after a sleepless night spent trying to plot out Adam’s future, but I reminded myself I was there to support my friend. In truth I was glad of the distraction provided by the unexpected turns Amelia’s life was taking. Adam’s mood had dipped again as his thoughts returned to a future spent in servitude at the family firm, and my idea of that morning – to present him with a gratitude journal in which he was to write each day, listing five things he appreciated, so that by the end of the week he would have thirty-five things, went down like a stone in a well. We’d turned to his crisis plan and he had opted to clean out my fridge rather than acknowledge what he appreciated about his life. It said a lot. Clearly, if I couldn’t resolve the Basil Confectionery issue, the success with Maria would be in vain.