Cecelia Ahern - How to Fall in Love

Adam looked confused.

‘I heard you whispering: We’re doing this today .’ He mocked my previous whisper. ‘Don’t look so surprised, there’s nothing wrong with my hearing. It’s my liver that has me in here, and that’s not even what’s killing me. It’s the cancer – and I think the fucking food will kill me before that does!’ He pushed away his plate. ‘I don’t understand why they won’t just let me out of here to die. I’ve got things to do,’ he raised his voice again as a doctor entered to study his chart. There were two student doctors with her.

‘It looks like you’re doing plenty already,’ the doctor said. ‘The allowed number of guests per room is two.’ She glared at us all as if we were responsible for causing the cancer to grow at such a rapid rate. ‘I thought I told you to rest, Mr Basil.’

‘And I thought I told you to fuck off,’ he said.

There was a long uncomfortable silence and I suddenly felt the urge to laugh.

‘You wait all day for a fucking doctor, then three of them come at once,’ he said. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure of your company? Is it the thousands I’m paying you every day to ignore me?’

‘Mr Basil, may I remind you to curb your tongue. If you’re feeling more irritable than usual, perhaps we can take a look at your medication.’

He waved a pale thin hand dismissively, almost in surrender.

‘A few minutes for you all and then I must insist on Mr Basil being alone,’ she said firmly. ‘We can talk then.’ She turned and left with her merry men scuttling along behind her.

‘I might see her again next week, whereupon she’ll visit my bed and once again tell me diddly squat. Who are you?’ he demanded, glaring at me.

Everyone turned their heads in my direction.

‘I’m Christine Rose.’ I held out my hand.

Mr Basil looked at it, lifted his hand, from which a tube protruded, and addressed Adam as he shook my hand limply: ‘Does Maria know about her? I never took you for a two-timer, you always seemed such a pussy. Pussy-whipped. Rose – what kind of name is that?’ He turned to me again.

‘We think it’s originally Rosenburg.’

He sized me up, then his eyes returned to Adam. ‘I like Maria. I don’t like many people, but I like her. And Mags, the dinner lady. Maria’s smart. Once she gets her act together she’ll go far. I don’t think much of that shitty business – Red Lips. It sounds like porno.’

I couldn’t help myself: I laughed, out loud.

Mr Basil appeared surprised, then continued, watching me as he spoke. ‘When she comes to her senses and stops making cartoons—’

‘Animation—’ I interrupted, feeling I owed it to Maria after enjoying her annihilation a little too much.

‘I don’t give a shit what – then she’ll do well. She’ll be helpful to you when you’re in charge, because God knows you couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery.’

‘Then why do you want him to take over the company?’ I asked, and all heads swivelled to me.

Everyone, especially Mr Basil, seemed surprised, not that he’d dream of letting on. His authority must never be allowed to slip for a moment, no one else could be permitted to take the lead.

‘Was that supposed to be a secret?’ I muttered to Adam.

He shook his head, looking at me with wary eyes.

‘What then?’ I looked around, unsure what I’d done. The woman named Mary took a step back from the bed, the younger woman in grey followed suit.

‘We’ll leave you to it, Mr Basil. We’ll be outside if you need us.’

He ignored her. Mary seemed to waver between leaving and staying.

‘Tell me, how do you know my son?’

‘We’re friends,’ Adam jumped in.

‘Ah, he speaks!’ his father said. ‘Tell me, Adam, the office haven’t seen you since Sunday. Apparently you were in Dublin to see me, but I’d have noticed if you’d come here and you didn’t. If you’re going to spend your time whoring around, then do it on—’

‘He wasn’t whoring—’

‘—your own time. I don’t like to be interrupted, thank you, Ms Rose.’

‘There’s an issue I’d like to discuss in private with you,’ I said. ‘Adam, you can leave too, if you like.’

Mr Basil looked at the two women by his bedside. They appeared anxious to get out of the room, and for that he was going to force them to stay. ‘I trust Mary more than I trust myself. She’s been with us since the day I took over forty years ago, and has known my son since he was in nappies, which was a phase that lasted longer than everyone hoped. Anything you have to say can be said in front of Mary. The other girl I’m not so sure of, but Mary thinks highly of her so I’m giving her a chance. Now cut the shit and tell me what you’re here for.’

The younger woman beside Mary lowered her head, embarrassed. I pulled over a chair and sat down. How to Break Sensitive News to a Dying Old Man. This particular man didn’t seem to deserve any sensitivity, given that he had none for anyone else. Well, if Adam wasn’t going to speak to him directly, I was. I’d sort this out once and for all. I came from a world of honesty and forthrightness, I wasn’t dramatic and certainly did not point out issues I had with people unless it was vital and unless it would improve the relationship, and I was grading Adam’s situation as vital. If a person’s behaviour has a negative effect on your life, you have to communicate with them, share the problem, discuss it, come to a conclusion. Communication is key in these situations, and clearly it was non-existent between this father and son. I sensed Adam was too afraid to stand up to his imposing father and so I would have to do it for him.

I spoke firmly and looked the old man directly in the eye. ‘I’m aware that you’re going to die very soon and you want Adam to take over the company so that control doesn’t revert to your nephew. We’re here to talk about that.’

Adam sighed and closed his eyes.

‘Shut up,’ Mr Basil snapped at him, even though he hadn’t spoken. ‘Mary, Patricia – outside, please.’ He didn’t even watch as they left, he kept his eyes on me.

I gave Adam a reassuring smile but he was unreadable, his jaw rigid.

Mr Basil looked at me as if I was the last person he wanted to have to talk to. ‘Ms Rose, you have your facts wrong. I don’t want Adam to take over the company. Lavinia is next in line, and was always intended to inherit. She’s far more able for the job than he is, believe you me, but she’s in Boston.’

‘Yes, I hear she stole millions from her friends and family,’ I said, putting him in his place. ‘Here’s the thing: Adam doesn’t want the job.’

I left a long silence. He waited for more but nothing came. That was it, I was finished. He didn’t deserve pandering and polite explanations.

‘Do you think I didn’t know that?’ He looked from me to Adam. ‘Is this supposed to be some elaborate reveal?’

I frowned. This wasn’t going the way I planned.

Mr Basil started laughing, but even his laugh was joyless.

‘His lack of interest in anything I do has made it patently obvious. He’s been fannying around with helicopters since he could talk, and he’s spent the last ten years messing around with the coast guard. I don’t care if he doesn’t want the job, I don’t care if it makes him deeply unhappy. It does not change what must be. A Basil must be in charge of this company. A Basil always has and always will be in charge of this company. And it cannot be Nigel Basil – it must not be. Over my dead body.’ He seemed unaware of the irony. ‘My grandfather, my father and I have fought hard to keep this company in our hands through good times and bad since it was founded, and no bossy little bitch with too much mouth and too little understanding is going to change that.’