Cecelia Ahern - How to Fall in Love

‘No!’ He laughed quickly, and it was beautiful, a beautiful sound that I wanted to hear again. ‘You’re pulling my leg.’ Then he laid down again, feet up, the smile and the laugh gone.

‘I’m not. You happen to be the most handsome man I’ve ever seen and so I thought you might be a model,’ I explained rationally. ‘I wasn’t making it up!’

He looked at me then, his face softer, a little embarrassed, as he tried to figure out whether I was joking. But I wasn’t joking. If anything, I was mortified; I hadn’t meant it to come out like that. I had meant to say he was handsome, but it came out wrong because it came out right.

‘So what do you do?’ I changed the subject, picking imaginary fluff from my jeans to avoid looking at him.

‘You’ll enjoy this.’

‘Go on.’

‘A stripogram. One of those Chippendales. Because I’m so handsome and all.’

I rolled my eyes and sat back.

‘Ah, I’m only messing. I’m a helicopter pilot for the Irish Coast Guard.’

My mouth dropped.

‘See, I told you you’d enjoy it.’ He studied me.

‘You rescue people,’ I said.

‘We have so much in common, you and I.’

There was no way Adam could go back to that job with him being in this frame of mind. I wouldn’t let him, I couldn’t let him, they wouldn’t let him.

‘You said the family company falls to your father’s children after his death. Do you have any siblings?’

‘I have an older sister. She’s next in line, but she moved to Boston. She had to leg it over there when it came out that her husband had stolen millions from his friends in a Ponzi scheme. He was supposed to invest it for them but spent it instead. Took quite a bit from me too. Took a whole lot from my dad.’

‘Your poor sister.’

‘Lavinia? She was probably the brains behind it. It’s not just that, there are other complications. The company should have passed to my uncle, who was the eldest brother, but he’s a selfish prick and my grandfather knew he’d run the company into the ground if it was left to him, so instead it went to Father. As a result, the family was split between those who sympathised with Uncle Liam and those who took my father’s side. So if I don’t take over and it falls to my cousin … It’s difficult to explain to someone who isn’t part of the family. You can’t know how hard it is to turn your back on something, even though you despise it, because there’s loyalty involved.’

‘I left my husband last week,’ I blurted out. Just like that, I said it. My heart was hammering in my chest; it must have been the first time I’d said it to anyone, out loud. For so long I’d wanted to leave him, but couldn’t because I wanted to be the loyal wife who followed through on my vows. I knew exactly the loyalty Adam was talking about.

He looked at me, surprised. For a moment he studied me, as if questioning whether my claim was authentic. ‘What did he do?’

‘He’s an electrician, why?’

‘No. Why did you leave him? What did he do wrong?’

I swallowed, examined my nails. ‘He didn’t do anything wrong really. He … I wasn’t happy.’

He blew air out of his nose, unamused. ‘So you find your own happiness at his expense.’

I knew he was thinking about his girlfriend.

‘It’s not a philosophy I like to preach.’

‘But you practise it.’

‘You can’t know how hard it is to leave someone,’ I echoed his earlier words.

‘Touché.’

‘You have to weigh up the risks,’ I said. ‘Together we would have both been miserable for the rest of our lives. He’ll get over me. He’ll get over me a lot quicker than he thinks.’

‘And what if he doesn’t?’

I didn’t know how to respond. The thought had never occurred to me. I was sure Barry would get over me. He would have to.

Adam disappeared after that. He stayed in the room but vanished into his mind, no doubt pondering the future for him and his girlfriend. Getting over her wasn’t an option; he wanted her back. And if his girlfriend felt for Adam the way I felt for Barry, they hadn’t a hope in hell.

‘So what do you do?’ he asked, as if suddenly realising he knew nothing about the woman who was intent on saving his life.

‘What do you think I do?’ I played his game.

He didn’t think for very long. ‘Work in a charity shop?’

I had to laugh. ‘That’s random.’ I looked down at my clothes, wondering if he thought my jeans, denim shirt and Converse trainers had come from a charity shop. They may have been casual but they were all brand new, and double denim was back in.

He smiled. ‘I don’t mean your clothes. It’s more … you seem the caring type. Maybe a vet, or something to do with rescued animals?’ He shrugged. ‘Am I close?’

I cleared my throat. ‘I’m in recruitment.’

His smile faded. His disappointment was palpable, his concern even more so. And he didn’t try to cover it up.

In a few hours I would have twelve days left. And so far I had achieved nothing.

7

How to Build Friendships and Develop Trust

I would have sworn to anyone who’d listen that I hadn’t slept all night, because I was sure I hadn’t, but instead of the realisation that morning had finally come upon me, it was the sound of running water that forced me out of sleep mode. Confused that I’d been asleep, it took me a moment to remember where I was. I was wide-awake and immediately alert; I didn’t do groggy. When I discovered the couch where Adam had been lying was empty I immediately jumped up, rushed into the bedroom, banging my knee on the coffee table and my elbow on the doorframe, not fully thinking things through, and barged into the bathroom where I was faced with a bare, very pert and muscular bottom which hadn’t seen the sun for a long time. Adam twisted his upper body around, his blond curls were flattened and darkened and dripping down along his face. I couldn’t stop staring.

‘Don’t worry, I’m alive,’ he said, amused again.

I quickly backed out of the bathroom, closed the door suppressing an awkward giggle, and hurried to the guest toilet to make myself look presentable after a night in double denim. When I emerged from the living room, the water continued to fall in the bathroom. After ten minutes it was still falling. I paced the bedroom wondering what to do. Walking in on him once was a mistake, a second time would be plain creepy but I wasn’t sure I could afford to be worried about my integrity when two nights ago he had attempted to kill himself, though apart from shrinking himself to death I wasn’t sure he could harm himself in there. I had removed the glasses from the sink area so he couldn’t hurt himself and I hadn’t heard any mirrors smash. I was about to push the bathroom door open again when I heard the sound. It was quiet at first, then it sounded choked, so full of hurt, so deep and longing I let go of the handle and rested my head against the door, wanting so much to comfort him. Feeling helpless, I listened to his sobs.

Then I remembered the suicide note. If I didn’t get my hands on it before he got out of the shower, I’d never see it. I looked around the room and saw his clothes discarded in the corner, his jeans strewn on top of his travel bag. I felt my way around each pocket and finally found the folded piece of paper. I opened it, hoping to gain more insight into the reasons of his attempted suicide, but instead found a series of scribbles, some crossed out, others underlined and I quickly learned that it wasn’t a suicide note at all; it was his proposal to Maria, practised over and over, rewritten until it was perfect.

A vibration from Adam’s phone stole my attention away. It was beside the fresh clothes he’d laid out to wear that day. The phone stopped ringing and the screen revealed seventeen missed calls . It rang again. Maria. I made a quick decision, one that didn’t involve much thinking through. I answered it.