Cecelia Ahern - If You Could See Me Now

“What?” she shouted louder than she meant to.

Sam’s face crumpled up and he began to cry silently.

“Oh, no.” She panicked. “Please don’t cry, Sam, I didn’t mean to.” She held her hands out to him but he ran toward the door, shouting for his mother. “Oh, I’m sorry Sam, please stop. Ssshhh,” she said quietly. “Oh god,” she groaned to herself, listening as Fiona hushed him.

“I’m sorry, Fiona,” Elizabeth apologized.

“It’s OK.” Fiona looked a little worried. “He’s a little sensitive about it.”

“I understand.” Elizabeth gulped. “About Ivan.” She swallowed again and got to her feet. “You know him, don’t you?”

Fiona’s brow wrinkled. “What do you mean by know him?”

Elizabeth’s heart raced. “I mean, he’s been around here before?”

“Oh, yes.” Fiona smiled. “He was here many times with Luke, we even had him over for dinner.” She winked.

Elizabeth relaxed, but was unsure of how to interpret the wink. She placed her hand on her heart and it began to slow down. “Phew, Fiona, thank god.” She laughed with relief. “For a minute there, I thought I was going mad.”

“Oh, don’t be silly.” Fiona laughed, placing a hand on her arm. “We all do it, you know. When Sam was two years old, he went through the exact same thing. Rooster, he called his little friend.” She laughed. “So believe me, I know exactly what you’re going through, opening car doors, cooking extra dinners, and setting an extra place at the table. Don’t worry, I understand, you were right to play along.”

Elizabeth’s head was beginning to spin, but Fiona’s voice kept going on and on.

“When you think about it, it’s such a waste of food really, isn’t it? It just sits there through the entire meal completely untouched and believe me I know, I was keeping an eye on it. I’ll have no spooky invisible men in this house, thank you very much!” She laughed.

Moisture was rising to Elizabeth’s throat. She grabbed on to the corner of the chair to steady herself.

“But, like I said earlier, that’s six-year-olds for you. I’m sure this so-called Ivan will disappear in time; they say they don’t last for more than two months, really, he should be gone soon, don’t you worry.” She finally stopped talking, but moved her face quizzically toward Elizabeth. “Are you OK?”

“Air,” Elizabeth gasped. “I just need to get some air.”

“Of course,” Fiona said, hurriedly leading her back toward the front door.

Elizabeth charged outside, taking in big gulps of air.

“Is everything OK? Can I get you a glass of water?” Fiona asked worriedly, rubbing her back as Elizabeth leaned over facing the ground, with her hands resting on her knees.

“No, thanks,” she said, quietly standing up. “I’ll be OK.” She wandered off unevenly down the path without a good-bye, leaving Fiona staring after her nervously.

Once back in her own house, Elizabeth slammed the front door behind her and slid down to the floor with her head in her hands.

“Elizabeth, what’s wrong?” Luke asked worriedly, still in his pajamas and barefoot as he stood before her.

She couldn’t answer. She could do nothing but go over the past few months, over and over in her mind, all her special memories and moments with Ivan, all their conversations together. Who was there with them, who had seen them, spoken to him. They had been in crowded places, people had seen them together, Benjamin had seen them, and Joe had seen them. She kept on thinking back over everything, trying to remember moments when Ivan had conversations with all of these people. She couldn’t be imagining all this. She was a sane, responsible woman.

Her face was pale as she finally looked up to face Luke.

“Ekam Eveileb,” was all she could say.

“Yep.” He giggled. “It’s backwards language. Cool, isn’t it?”

It took Elizabeth seconds to work it out.

Make Believe .

Chapter Forty-Two

“Come on, ” Elizabeth shouted, pounding on her horn, to the two coaches inching by each other slowly on the main street of Baile na gCroíthe. It was September and the last of the tourists were passing through the town; after this the busy village would return to its usual silence, like a banquet hall the morning after a party, leaving the locals to tidy up and remember the events and people that came through. The students would be heading back to college in the neighboring counties and towns and the locals would once again be alone to struggle with their businesses.

Elizabeth held her hand down on her horn and blasted it at the coach before her. A sea of foreign faces turned around in the back of the bus to glare at her. Beside her, the locals spilled out of the church, after attending morning mass. Taking advantage of the glorious sunny day, they gathered around in groups on the street, chatting and catching up on the week’s events. They too turned to stare at the source of the angry beeping, but she didn’t care, she was following no rules today, she was desperate to get to Joe’s as she knew he at least could admit to seeing Ivan and her together, putting an end to this cruel and bizarre joke.

Too impatient to wait for the coaches to pass each other, leaving the car in traffic, she jumped out and ran across the road to the café. “Joe!” she called, charging in through the door. She couldn’t keep the panic out of her voice.

“Ah, there ye are, just the woman I was lookin’ for.” Joe stepped out from the kitchen. “I want to show ye my new fancy machine. It’s—”

“I don’t care,” she butted in breathlessly. “I’ve no time. Just please answer me this question. You remember me being in here with a man a few times, don’t you?”

Joe looked up to the ceiling in thought, feeling important.

Elizabeth held her breath.

“Aye, I do.”

Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god .” She laughed, a little too hysterically.

“Now could you pay attention to me new device,” he said proudly. “It’s a brand-new coffee makin’ machine. Makes these espressos and cap’chinos and all.” He picked up the espresso cup. “Sure that would only hold a drip. Brings a whole new meanin’ to the phrase ‘hot drop.’ ”

Elizabeth laughed, so happy about the news about Ivan and the coffee, she could have jumped over the counter and kissed him.

“So where is this man?” Joe asked, trying to figure out how to make Elizabeth an espresso.

Elizabeth’s smile faded. “Oh, I don’t know.”

“Gone back to America, is he? Sure, doesn’t he live there in New York? The Big Apple, don’t they call it. I’ve seen it on the telly and if you ask me it looks nothin’ like an apple at all.”

Elizabeth’s heart pounded in her chest. “No Joe, not Benjamin . You’re thinking of Benjamin.”

“The fella you had drinks with in here a few times,” Joe confirmed.

“No.” Elizabeth’s anger rose. “Well, yes I did. But I’m talking about the other man who was with me here. Ivan is his name. I-v-a-n,” she repeated slowly.

Joe made a face and shook his head. “Don’t know an Ivan.”

“Yes, you do,” she said rather forcefully.

“Listen here.” Joe took off his reading glasses and put down the manual. “I know just about everyone in this town and I don’t know an Ivan nor have I ever heard of one.”

“But, Joe,” Elizabeth pleaded. “Please think back.” Then she remembered. “The day we splashed coffee all around outside.” She laughed. “That was Ivan.”

“Oh.” Joe smiled. “Part of the German crowd, was he?”