Cecelia Ahern - P.S. I Love You

Holly turned to face him and her eyes glistened. “You let me down, Jack.”

He closed his eyes slowly as though the very thought of that pained him. “I know. I just didn't handle the whole situation well, Holly. I found it so hard to deal with Gerry . . . you know . . .”

“Dying,” Holly finished for him.

“Yeah.” He clenched and unclenched his jaw and looked like he had finally accepted it.

“It wasn't exactly easy for me, you know, Jack.” A silence fell between them. “But you helped me pack away all his things. You went through his belongings with me and made the whole thing so much easier,” Holly said, feeling confused. “You were there with me for that, why did you just suddenly disappear?”

“God, that was so tough to do,” he shook his head sadly. “You were so strong, Holly . . . you are strong,” he corrected himself. “Getting rid of his things just tore me up, being in the house and him not being there just . . . got to me. And then I noticed you were getting closer to Richard, so I just figured it would be OK for me to take a step back because you had him . . .”

He shrugged his shoulders and blushed at the ridiculousness of finally explaining his feelings.

“You fool, Jack,” Holly said, thumping him playfully in the stomach. “As if Richard could ever take your place.”

He smiled. “Oh, I don't know, you two seem very pally-pally these days.”

Holly became serious again. “Richard has been very supportive over the past year, and believe me people haven't failed to surprise me at all during this whole experience,” she added, getting in a dig. “Give him a chance, Jack.”

He stared out to the sea and nodded slowly, digesting this.

Holly wrapped her arms around him and felt the familiar comforting hug of her brother.

Hugging Holly even tighter, Jack said, “I'm here for you now. I'm going to stop being so selfish and take care of my little sister.”

“Hey, your little sister is doing just fine on her own, thank you very much,” she said sadly as she watched the sea crash violently against the rocks, its spray kissing the moon.

They sat down for their meal and Holly's mouth watered at the spread of food before her.

“I got an e-mail from Ciara today,” Declan announced.

Everyone oohed and aahed.

“She sent this picture of herself.” He passed around the photograph he had printed off.

Holly smiled at the sight of her sister lying on the beach eating barbecued Christmas dinner with Mathew. Her hair was blond and her skin was tanned and they both looked so happy. She stared at it for a while feeling proud that her sister had found her place. After traveling around the world searching and searching, she reckoned Ciara had finally found contentment. Holly hoped that would happen to her eventually. She passed the photo on to Jack and he smiled and studied it.

“They're saying it might snow today,” Holly announced, taking a second helping of dinner. The top button on her trousers had already been opened, but it was Christmas, after all; the time of giving and eh . . . eating . . .

“No, it won't snow,” Richard said, sucking on a bone. “It's too cold for that.”

Holly frowned. “Richard, how could it be too cold to snow?”

He licked his fingers and wiped them on the napkin that was tucked into his shirt and Holly tried not to laugh as she noticed he was wearing a black woolly jumper with a big picture of a Christmas tree emblazoned across the front. “It needs to get milder before it can snow,” he explained.

Holly giggled. “Richard, it's about minus a million in the Antarctic and it snows there. That's hardly mild.”

Abbey giggled.

“That's the way it works,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Whatever you say.” Holly rolled her eyes.

“He's right, actually,” Jack added after a while and everyone stopped chewing to stare at him.

That was not a phrase they often heard. Jack went on to explain how snow worked and Richard helped him out on the scientific parts. They both smiled at each other and seemed satisfied they were Mr. Know-it-alls. Abbey raised her eyebrows at Holly and they shared their secret look of shock.

“You want some vegetables with your gravy, Dad?” Declan asked, seriously offering him a bowl of broccoli.

Everyone looked at Frank's plate and laughed. Once again it was a sea of gravy.

“Ha-ha,” Frank said, taking the bowl from his son. “Anyway we live too close to the sea to get any,” he added.

“To get what? Gravy?” Holly teased and they all laughed again.

“Snow, silly,” he said, grabbing her nose like he used to when she was a child.

“Well, I bet you all a million quid that it snows today,” Declan said, eagerly glancing around at his brothers and sisters.

“Oh well, you better start saving, Declan, because if your brainiac brothers say it ain't so, it ain't so!” Holly joked.

“You better pay up then, boys.” Declan rubbed his hands together greedily, nodding toward the window.

“Oh my God!” Holly exclaimed, excitedly jumping out of her chair. “It's snowing!”

“So much for that theory then,” Jack said to Richard, and they both laughed as they watched the white flakes sparkling down from the sky.

Everyone deserted the dinner table and threw on their coats to run outside like excited children.

But then again, that's exactly what they were. Holly glanced down into the gardens lining the street and spotted the families of every household standing outside staring up into the sky.

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her daughter's shoulders and squeezed her tight. “Well, it looks like Denise will have a white Christmas for her white wedding,” she smiled.

Holly's heart beat wildly at the thought of Denise's wedding. In just a few days she would have to confront Daniel. As though her mother had been reading her mind she asked Holly gently and quietly so no one else would hear, “Have you thought about what to say to Daniel yet?”

Holly glanced up at the snowflakes glistening down from the black star-filled sky in the moonlight. The moment felt so magical; right there and then she made her final decision.

“Yes I have.” She smiled and took a deep breath.

“Good.” Elizabeth kissed her on the cheek, “And remember, God leads you to it and takes you through it.”

Holly smiled at the phrase. “He better, because I'm going to need him a lot over the next while.”

“Sharon, don't carry that case, it's too heavy!” John yelled at his wife, and Sharon dropped the bag angrily.

“John, I am not an invalid. I am pregnant! ” she shouted back at him.

“I know that, but the doctor said not to lift heavy things!” he said firmly, walking around to her side of the car and grabbing the bag.

“Well screw the doctor, he's never been bloody pregnant,” Sharon yelled, watching John storm off.

Holly banged down the boot of the car loudly. She had had enough of John and Sharon's tantrums; she had been stuck listening to them bicker all the way down to Wicklow in the car.

Now all she wanted to do was to go to the hotel and relax in the peace and quiet. She was growing quite afraid of Sharon as well, her voice level had raised three octaves in the past two hours and she looked like she was going to explode. Actually, by the size of her pregnancy bump Holly was afraid she really would explode, and she didn't want to be around for that happening.

Holly grabbed her bag and glanced up at the hotel. It was more like a castle. It was the place Tom and Denise had chosen as the venue for their New Year's Eve wedding, and they couldn't have picked a more beautiful place. The building was covered in dark green ivy climbing up its aging walls and a huge water fountain adorned the front courtyard. Acres and acres of beautifully kept lush green gardens crept out around all sides of the hotel; Denise didn't get her white Christmas wedding after all, the snow had melted minutes after it had arrived. Still, it had been a beautiful moment for Holly to share with her family on Christmas day, and it had succeeded in lifting her spirits for a short time. Now all she wanted to do was find her room and pamper herself. She wasn't even sure if her bridesmaid's dress would still fit her after she had piled on the pounds over Christmas. It was a fear that she wasn't willing to share with Denise, as she would probably have a heart attack. Perhaps some minor alterations wouldn't be too difficult . . . She also regretted telling Sharon she was worried about the fit as Sharon had screamed that she couldn't even fit into the clothes she had worn the day before, never mind a dress she was fitted for months ago.