Cecelia Ahern - P.S. I Love You

The lights on the tree across the road flew on and Jessica and Tony danced around the garden giggling. Suddenly the lights flickered and went out again. They stopped dancing and their faces fell.

Holly rolled her eyes. “I'll take that as an I don't know.”

She sat down at the kitchen table and sipped on a hot mug of tea to thaw out her frozen face.

Friend tells you he loves you and dead husband tells you to fall in love again, so you make a cup of tea.

She had three weeks left at work until she could take her Christmas holidays, which meant that if she had to, she would only have to avoid Daniel for fifteen working days. That seemed possible. She hoped that by the time of Denise's wedding at the end of December she would have made a decision about what to do. But first she had to get through her first Christmas alone, and she was dreading it.

Forty-nine

“OK, WHERE DO YOU WANT me to put it?” Richard panted, dragging the Christmas tree in her living room. A trail of pine needles led all the way out the living room door, down the hall, out the front door and into her car. Holly sighed, she would have to vacuum the house again today to get rid of the mess and she stared at the tree with disgust. They smelled so fresh, but damn, were they messy.

“Holly!” Richard repeated, and she jumped from her thoughts to face him.

She giggled, “You look like a talking tree, Richard.” All she could see were his little brown shoes sticking out from underneath the tree resembling a skinny little brown stump.

“Holly,” he grunted, losing his balance slightly under the weight.

“Oh sorry,” she said quickly, suddenly realizing that he was about to fall over. “Over by the window.”

She bit her lip and winced as he sent everything crashing around him while he made his way over to the window.

“There now,” he said, wiping his hands and stepping back to take a look at his work.

Holly frowned. “It looks a little bit bare, don't you think?”

“Well, you will have to decorate it of course.”

“Well, I know that, Richard, but I was referring to the fact that it only has about five branches left. It's got bald patches,” she moaned.

“I told you to buy a tree earlier, Holly, not leave it until Christmas Eve. Anyway, that was the best of a bad lot; I sold the best ones weeks ago.”

“I suppose,” Holly frowned. She really didn't want to get a Christmas tree at all this year. She wasn't even in the mood to celebrate and it wasn't as if she had any children in the house to please by putting up decorations. Richard had insisted, though, and Holly felt that she had to help him out with his new Christmas tree–selling venture, in addition to his flourishing landscaping business. But the tree was awful and no amount of tinsel could hide that; looking at it made her wish she had just bought one weeks ago. At least then maybe it would have looked like a real tree instead of a pole with a few pine needles hanging off.

She couldn't believe it was Christmas Eve already. She had spent the past few weeks working overtime trying to get the January issue of the magazine ready before they all took their Christmas break. They had eventually finished up the day before, and when Alice had suggested they all go for Christmas drinks at Hogan's she had politely declined. She still hadn't spoken to Daniel; she had ignored all of his calls, had avoided Hogan's like the plague and had ordered Alice to tell him she was in a meeting if he ever called the office. He called the office nearly every day.

She didn't intend to be rude, but she needed more time to think things through. OK, so it wasn't as if he had just proposed to her, but it almost felt like she was thinking over a big decision like that. Richard's stare snapped her back to reality.

“Sorry, what?”

“I said would you like me to help you decorate it?”

Holly's heart fell. That was her and Gerry's job, nobody else's. Every year without fail they would put the Christmas CD on, open a bottle of wine and decorate the tree . . .

“Eh . . . no, it's OK, Richard, I'll do it. I'm sure you've better things to be doing now.”

“Well, actually I would quite like to do it,” he said eagerly. “Usually myself, Meredith and the children do it together, but I missed out on that this year . . .” He trailed off.

“Oh.” Holly hadn't even thought about Richard's Christmas as being difficult too, she was too selfishly caught up in her own worries.

“OK then, why not?” she smiled.

Richard beamed and he looked like such a child.

“Oh, but the only thing is I'm not too sure where the decorations are. Gerry always used to store them away in the attic somewhere . . .”

“No problem,” he smiled encouragingly. “That used to be my job too. I'll find them.” He bounded up the stairs to the attic.

Holly opened a bottle of red wine and pressed PLAY on the CD player; Bing Crosby's “White Christmas” played softly in the background. Richard returned with a black sack slung over his shoulder and a dusty Santa hat on. “Ho-ho-ho!”

Holly giggled and handed him his glass of wine.

“No no,” he waved his hand, “I'm driving.”

“You can have one glass at least, Richard,” she said, feeling disappointed.

“No no,” he repeated, “I don't drink and drive.”

Holly threw her eyes up to heaven and knocked back his glass of wine before beginning her own. By the time Richard left she had finished the bottle and was opening another. She noticed the red light flashing on the answering machine. Hoping it wasn't from who she thought it was, she hit the PLAY button.

“Hi Sharon, it's Daniel Connelly here. Sorry to bother you, but I had your phone number from when you called the club months ago about entering Holly into the karaoke. Em . . . well, I was really just hoping you could pass on a message for me. Denise has been so busy with the wedding arrangements that I knew I couldn't rely on her to remember . . .” He laughed slightly and cleared his throat. “Anyway, I was wondering if you could just tell Holly that I'm going down to my family in Galway for Christmas. I'm heading down there tomorrow. I haven't been able to get through to her on her mobile, I know she's on holidays from work now and I don't have her home number . . . so if you . . .”

He got cut off and Holly waited for the next message to be played.

“Eh, sorry Sharon, it's me again. Eh . . . Daniel, that is. I just got cut off there. Yeah, so anyway, if you could just tell Holly that I'll be in Galway for the next few days and that I'll have my mobile with me if she wants to reach me. I know she has some things to think about so . . .” He paused. “Anyway, I better go before I get cut off again. I'll see you all at the wedding next week. OK thanks . . . bye.”

The second message was from Denise telling her that Daniel was looking for her, the third message was from her brother Declan also telling her that Daniel was looking for her and the fourth message was from an old school friend who Holly hadn't seen in years, telling her that she'd bumped into a friend of hers called Daniel in a pub the previous night, which reminded her of Holly, oh yeah, and Daniel was looking for Holly and he wanted her to call him back. The fifth message was from Daniel again.

“Hi Holly, it's Daniel here. Your brother Declan gave me your number. I can't believe we've been friends so long and you never gave me your home number, yet I've a sneaking suspicion I've had it all along without realizing . . .” There was a silence as he exhaled. “Anyway, I really need to talk to you, Holly. I think it should be in person, and it should be before we see each other at the wedding. Please Holly, please take my calls. I don't know how else to get to you.”