Даниэла Стил - All That Glitters

“I’m fine, I’m feeling better,” she said matter-of-factly, and she looked it. She wasn’t happy again but she seemed healthier and more alive, but she didn’t dare tell Sam what she was doing. He was always uneasy about Ed, and she knew he wouldn’t approve. Either jealous or possessive, or overprotective, like a big brother. And he was young, he wouldn’t understand.

She and Ed had been lovers for two and a half months by Thanksgiving, and she felt as though her whole life had changed. He was the most exciting man she had ever known. He still showed up on Page Six occasionally, which he said was to keep people off the scent. He thought they should remain discreet for as long as possible. He said people would be envious of them, and their thirty-year age difference would cause comment and criticism, which he didn’t want to expose her to.

“It doesn’t matter to me at all,” she reassured him. He was so much more exciting than any boy her age.

“One day, I hope we’ll be married, and we won’t have to explain it to anyone,” he said with a hopeful expression.

“Are you really going to get divorced?” She looked impressed. He had mentioned it several times. She didn’t feel guilty because he was so clear that their marriage had been over for years. And the idea of being married to him was exciting and made her feel safe.

“I was going to get divorced anyway. Tell me when you’re ready, and I’ll file.” She felt too young to be married, and she didn’t think it would be proper to marry less than a year after her parents’ deaths, and he agreed when she said it to him. “We’ll talk about it next summer then. I can hardly wait,” he said, pulled her close to him, and kissed her to seal the deal.

She spent Thanksgiving with Sam and his family, while Ed was at his Connecticut home with his. In the December issue of Vogue, there was a handsome photograph of him with Marielle at their country estate, which he said had been taken in the summer before he got involved with Coco. He said they had agreed to the interview to keep up appearances for their children’s sake. The photograph meant nothing, he said, and Coco believed him. She had no reason not to. He had never lied to her. He and her father were both honest men.

Their dinners at La Grenouille became more and more regular. They went to the Italian restaurant often too. He came by frequently at midnight, when he said he couldn’t bear the night without her, and Sam always left around eleven. Sam still came by every evening after work, but didn’t always stay for dinner now. When he did, he left before Ed showed up, but he had no idea she was seeing Ed. She kept it a secret. Ed went to the country on weekends and said he did work there, and could get more done than in the city. For Christmas he gave her a Cartier love bracelet set with diamonds, and a matching ring that looked like a wedding band. When Sam questioned her about it, she said it was her mother’s. Ed had put the bracelet on with a little golden screwdriver that came with it, so she couldn’t take it off. And he said the ring was her promise ring, with better things to come in future, once people knew about them. They had no set plan about when to tell them.

He went skiing in Switzerland with his children over Christmas. It was a hard time for Coco without her parents, but since Sam’s family didn’t celebrate it, he spent the time with her, so she wasn’t alone. Ed came by to say goodbye to her before he left for Europe, and Sam was there and after he left, Sam looked at her strangely.

“Is something going on with you and Ed?” It had hit him like a bolt of lightning when he saw them together. The look in Ed’s eyes gave him away.

“Of course not. Why would you say that?” Coco said, looking uncomfortable. They had kissed stealthily when he got on the elevator. He was on his way to the airport. A car was waiting for him downstairs with his bags.

“He looks at you like he owns you,” Sam said, suspicious.

“Don’t be silly. He’s my trustee.”

Sam looked at her intensely. “Be careful, Coco. He scares me. I think he’s a player. I smell it from a mile away.” But since Sam was as innocent as she was, she paid no attention to him. And she was determined not to tell him the truth. It was her secret with Ed. It was the first time she had ever lied to Sam, and she felt guilty about it. Her birthday was a few days before Christmas, and she spent it quietly with Sam. She didn’t want to celebrate it, so they had dinner at home.

Ed called her on her birthday, on Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve, and texted her in between. He had business in London for a week after the holidays, and by the time he returned, she hadn’t seen him for almost three weeks. He barely got through the door the first time he saw her, before they were making love all over the apartment and finally made it to her bed.

“Oh my God, I missed you so much. It was unbearable without you. I can’t go away without you again.” But he did, to Saint Bart’s in February, on a yacht with friends, for Easter in Rome, with his children again, and in June, he mentioned in passing that he had rented a house in Tuscany for two months, so his children and their spouses and his grandchildren could come and go. For the first time, she looked at him questioningly.

“Will Marielle be there too?”

“Who knows with her? She does what she wants and makes her own plans. Although she’ll want to see the children too. I think she’ll be on a boat in Greece in July. Maybe you and I can go somewhere then.”

“Are you still planning to divorce her?” Coco said quietly. She had decided not to go back to school for spring semester either, and she had done nothing in the past nine months except make love with Ed and watch TV with Sam.

“I’m not sure this is the right time. She’s had some health issues. But it’s certainly a possibility. Maybe in the fall,” he said, reaching for her, and she pulled away.

“I don’t want to be rude, Ed, but I don’t want to be your piece on the side. I still see you on Page Six a lot, and you were in W with Marielle last month when you went to Spain to see friends. You didn’t tell me she was going to be with you. I think you’re more married than you’ve told me.” She had thought it for a while, and wondered if Sam was right. Ed had the perfect arrangement in hiding with her. No one had any idea that they were involved, and he could have her whenever he wanted. She had been his willing plaything for nine months. The anniversary of her parents’ death was in a month, by which time, he had said, he wanted to marry her. She was beginning to think he was playing her for a fool, with Marielle’s “health issues,” which made it a bad time to file for divorce, and a house in Tuscany for two months, where his wife would be too. Coco stared at him and he didn’t flinch or falter.

“The only one I love is you. How can you doubt that?”

“I don’t. But I think you are still very married, and possibly intend to stay that way. You’ve had plenty of time to do something about it since September, and you haven’t.”

“I’ll do it in the fall,” he promised.

“I don’t believe you,” she said bravely. Everything about him was exciting. He lived a jet-set life, but he shared that life with Marielle, not with her. Maybe Sam was right and he was a player. If so, the joke was on her, and he had taken advantage of the fact that he was her trustee, and she was a naïve twenty-two-year-old girl. She was not in his league. But she was not a fool.

“I’m not so sure my father would have liked this,” she said quietly and firmly. “Or that you’d have done this if he were alive. You were his partner. He trusted you.”

“I think you’re being unfair,” he said, looking sullen, as he got out of bed, walked across the room, and reached for his clothes.