Даниэла Стил - All That Glitters

“I don’t think I’m the one being unfair here, or dishonest. I’m not married and staying that way. You are. If you loved me and were honest, you’d have seen a lawyer by now.” She was very clear about it. It had been troubling her for a while, and she had finally said it.

“I have seen a lawyer,” he insisted, but he looked like he was lying now, even to her. “He advised me to wait.” When he said that, she could see what he was, and what he was doing. It was all a game to him, and who knew how many others there were, the women he was in the papers with, whom he claimed were only decoys. She suddenly felt like an idiot and realized that he had treated her like one. He dressed and she didn’t stop him. Then he came toward her, and tried to caress her and she moved away.

“I think we need to stop until you get your life in order. I love you. But I’m not stupid, Ed. This has been easy for you.” She had been constantly available to him for almost a year.

“And you had something better to do?” he said sarcastically, and it hit her like a slap. “Like movie nights with your little friend Sam? I’ve wined and dined and entertained you for the last year, with the best sex you’ll ever have.” There was a mean look in his eyes she hadn’t seen before, and what he said was rude and disrespectful.

“Is that all it is? You abused my father’s trust and mine, and took advantage of the fact that I have no family and no father to defend me now. I trusted you, but maybe I was wrong.” She seemed suddenly very grown up and felt it as she faced him. She was shaking, but he didn’t know. It took courage to challenge him, and she loved him now.

“You’re not a child, Coco. You’re a woman. We’re both adults. You knew I was married, you always did. You decided to break the rules with me. You can’t blame me for that now.”

“You said you wanted to get divorced and marry me, right from the beginning.”

“Maybe I will someday, when I want to, not when you tell me to. That’s up to me. For now, this suits me the way it is.” He was suddenly cold and arrogant, and almost cruel.

“It doesn’t suit me,” she said in a trembling voice, realizing now who he was. Sam was right. He had played her like a harp. She had been the fool here, imagining that he loved her, and believing everything he said.

He turned in the bedroom doorway then and looked at her with contempt. “You need to grow up, Coco. Your innocence is charming, for a while. But if you want to play in the big leagues, this is how it is. It’s been fun. Goodbye.” He walked to the front door and out of the apartment, as Coco felt like someone had squeezed all the air out of her. He was a bad guy, and always had been, just great in bed. She lay there for a long time thinking about it, realizing what a fool she had been. She wanted to hate him, but she didn’t. She hated herself.

She got up and took a shower and dressed. She was quiet when Sam came to see her that night. By the time he came, she had taken off the Cartier bracelet with the little gold screwdriver, and the ring Ed had given her, and put them away. She wanted no reminders of him anywhere. It had gone on for almost a year and suddenly it was over.

“What’s up? Are you upset about something?” He always knew. She started to tell him, stopped herself, and then decided to tell him the truth. She told him a modified, slightly tamer, less X-rated version of the last nine months, and admitted to the affair with Ed, that he had played her and lied to her, and she had just been a diversion for a married man. Sam looked furious, not at her, but at Ed.

“I told you the guy’s a player. What a son of a bitch. He took total advantage of you and the state you were in, and the role your father entrusted him with. What a pig.”

She smiled at the intense look on his face. “I was the idiot,” she said, feeling ashamed. She’d had an affair with a married man for nine months, thinking he had an “arrangement” with his wife and he was going to marry her. He had won in the end, and she felt like a fool.

“You’re just young, Coco. The guy is thirty years older. He knows how to play the game.”

“I fell for it because he was exciting,” she said, remorseful.

“You need to play it safe next time. The exciting ones are usually dangerous, and he is. But at least you figured it out in the end. I still love you,” he said, and put an arm around her.

“You’re not mad at me for lying to you about him?”

“You had to experience it for yourself. You’ll know better next time.” She nodded, and they grabbed popcorn in the kitchen, and sat down to watch movies together. She was grateful he was her friend. Ed was everything Sam had said. He lived in the fast lane, and had run over her like a bus. She was surprised to find that her heart wasn’t broken but her pride was badly bruised.

Chapter 3

The anniversary of her parents’ death was a hard day for Coco. She and Sam drove out to the Hamptons, where she felt especially close to them. They had shared such happy times there. She remembered every moment of the year before vividly, and the last time she saw them. She and Sam walked on the beach together and she cried. She still missed them acutely and she knew that her experience with Ed would never have happened if her father were alive. He would have protected her. Sam tried to, but she wouldn’t listen. She hadn’t heard from Ed in a month, and it was awkward having him as her trustee, but she didn’t need any advice from him about the estate for now. She was thinking of trying to get a change of trustee, but she wasn’t sure how to do it. She doubted that he would fight it, for fear she would expose him and how he had taken advantage of her, which wouldn’t have sat well with a judge.

She had learned a lesson from it, and made a vow to herself. No married men no matter what they said about “an arrangement” with their wife. And no more exciting guys. She was going to keep her eyes open for a “normal” one if she fell in love again. Sam was right.

As they walked down the beach on the anniversary of her parents’ death, Coco said sadly, “Who will walk me down the aisle, if I ever get married?” Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and Sam smiled.

“I will. That’s an easy one. Just make sure you marry the right guy. We’re both too young to get married anyway. That’s a big responsibility. I’m not ready for it, and you’re a year younger than I am. We’re still babies.” He had recently met a girl he liked. His parents knew hers. He mentioned her to Coco a few times. Her name was Tamar Weiss, and miraculously, she was Jewish. He was usually attracted to girls who weren’t. He hadn’t told his mother about going out with her or she’d have been all over him, wanting him to get married. She wanted all her children to marry early, and have lots of babies. Sam’s sister Sabra was still insisting that she wanted to get engaged to her Catholic boyfriend, and convert for him. Sam’s mother was going crazy over it, which kept the heat off Sam for now, and he could date Tamar in peace, while no one paid attention. He told Coco that Tamar was a nice girl. She worked in a bank, came from an Orthodox family, and had a lot of siblings. She wasn’t exciting, but she seemed like a solid, reasonable, intelligent person. He enjoyed her company, and when Coco asked him if he was in love with her, he said he wasn’t.

“Your choice of words, ‘solid and reasonable,’ scares me. Can’t you notch that up a little? You don’t need to fall in love with a stripper, but how about someone a little jazzier than ‘reasonable and solid.’ She sounds like a Seeing Eye dog.”

“Jazzy is dangerous, Coco. You just learned that with Ed.”

“Yeah, but ‘solid’ is going to bore the shit out of you after a few years, if it takes that long.”