Даниэла Стил: All That Glitters

She smiled at him on the way back. “Are you tired of me yet? It must be a drag to play combination nursemaid/psych attendant,” she said sadly.

“Stop that. I love being with you.” He looked serious as he said it.

“I’m lousy company,” she said mournfully.

“Not always.”

“How is it working for your father?” She was turned inward, and hadn’t asked about anyone else since it happened, not even Sam.

“Pretty dull. I don’t know how he has made a lifetime of it.” He could be honest with her. “It’s actually depressing.”

“What would you rather do?”

“I don’t know. I always said I’d do this, but it’s hard. I don’t think I have much choice. It’s what they expect of me, but I can’t imagine doing this for the rest of my life.”

“You’re twenty-two. You don’t have to sell your soul forever.”

“They think I do. It’s good enough for my father, so they think it should be enough for me too. They want me to be an accountant. And my brother isn’t going into the business with him. He’s serious about becoming a rabbi.”

“What does he know? He’s fourteen. That’s like wanting to be a fireman or a baseball player. He’ll probably outgrow it.”

“I don’t think so. He studies with the rabbis every day. He loves it. I would shoot myself. That’s even more boring than what I’m doing.” Both his sisters were in college now, so only the two boys were at home. “And my parents are thrilled he’s so religious and scholarly. So we all have our roles to play. Mine is working with my father in his business.”

“Even if you hate it?” He nodded. “Remember what my mother always said, you don’t have to play by other people’s rules.”

“You do if they’re your parents and they support you. At least that’s how it works at our house.”

“You could get another job, Sam,” she said gently. She hated knowing that he was unhappy. He seemed so trapped by what his parents expected of him. It wasn’t fair. He was such a good guy, and he didn’t want to disappoint them. He was giving up all his dreams, which was another thing her mother had said not to do. But Sam didn’t know what his dreams were, only what they weren’t. His dream for the moment was not working at his father’s accounting firm for the rest of his life.

“What about you? What are you going to do when you finish school?”

“I don’t know, still journalism, I hope. I wanted to see what magazines are like at Time . But I just couldn’t do it this summer.” In a way, nothing had changed, and everything had. Maybe she wouldn’t work after she graduated. Nothing interested her now, or seemed to matter. But if not, how would she fill her time?

“You’ll have to graduate, Coco, or the only job you’ll ever be able to get is flipping burgers at McDonald’s.”

She smiled. “You sound like my father. Actually, that might be fun. I’m going to graduate,” she said to placate him. Sam thought graduating was everything.

“You have to go back to school to do that.” He was worried about her taking a semester off. It didn’t seem like a good decision to him. But he couldn’t force her. No one could now. She could do whatever she wanted. Ed questioned her about it too when she told him she had taken the semester off.

“You might feel better if you were busy,” he said carefully.

“I’m afraid I’ll flunk all my classes if I go back now. I can’t concentrate on anything.” She had never had bad grades, and didn’t want to now.

“That’ll get better with time,” Ed said on one of his daily visits to her. “Would you like to go out to dinner one of these nights?” he asked her. She hadn’t been out since July, and it was mid-September. She didn’t want to see people. The only friend she’d seen so far was Sam. She hadn’t called any of her girlfriends or returned their calls, so they had stopped calling. She was worried about being a burden to Sam, but he insisted she wasn’t. He had dinner with her at the apartment every night.

“I’m not very good company,” she said to Ed, who nodded. He was always patient with her, and very kind. He was the only father figure she had now, to advise her and watch over her.

“I think you need a change of scene. Doctor’s orders.” He smiled at her. “I’ll take you to dinner tomorrow night.” She didn’t want to go, but he insisted, and the next day he had his secretary call to say he’d pick her up at seven. She told Sam he had the night off, because she was having dinner with Ed Easton. Sam was surprised, but he thought maybe they had to talk finances, so he didn’t question it or argue with her.

Ed picked her up right on time. She was wearing a plain black dress, another one of her mother’s, and it hung on her. She was startled when he took her to La Grenouille. She used to go there with her parents for special occasions. It looked so beautiful and so festive that she felt guilty being there, but the meal was delicious. And he was right. It cheered her up being out. They went early, and he had asked for a quiet back table, so everyone didn’t stop and say hello to her on their way into the restaurant. Her parents had loved La Grenouille too. And many of their friends were regulars.

They talked about lots of different things, and not about her parents or their estate for once. She was smiling when they left the restaurant, and looked more relaxed and young again, despite the dreary dress. The evening had done her good. She had noticed that all the headwaiters knew Ed. He obviously went there a lot. He had a very active social life, which was what landed him on Page Six frequently. He took her home in a cab.

She was smiling on the way home. “Thank you, that was lovely,” she said, and meant it. He noticed that she looked more like herself again. Her youth and extreme beauty shone through her grief.

“We’ll do it again,” he promised. He hadn’t wanted to push her before this, but now he could see that she needed to be prodded, to get her out of the house. “I think we should do this a couple of times a week,” he suggested. It sounded like hard work to her, babysitting her the way Sam had been, to get her through her sorrow. “How about Friday? Marielle is going to the house in Connecticut for the weekend, and I have to stay in town.” She and her parents had visited them there. It was an enormous estate.

“You don’t have to do that, Ed,” she said gently. “I’m okay. I’ve just been very sad.”

“That’s understandable. But now we need to get you un-sad, or at least feeling better. Do you like the ballet?” he asked, and she nodded. “I have season tickets and no one ever wants to go with me. Marielle hates it. I waste the tickets most of the time. We’ll do that one night. And maybe a play.” It sounded above and beyond the call of duty to her, and she felt guilty taking up his time. It was already nice enough that he stopped in to see her every day on his way home from the office. She was familiar with her father’s will now. He had left everything in such good order that there were very few decisions to make, except about where she wanted to live. She was still living at home, and had never had her own apartment, and didn’t want to, especially now. She wanted to live in theirs forever. But she felt lost and alone in the big apartment. She was grateful that Sam still stayed there with her most nights, but eventually he would get tired of that too, or his parents would complain. They had been sympathetic so far, and hadn’t objected. But Sam hadn’t had a date or a night off in two months, except when she’d had dinner with Ed at La Grenouille. He asked her about it the next day.

“Did it go okay with Ed last night?”

“It was very nice. We had a good dinner and came home early. It was kind of nice to be out.”