Даниэла Стил - All That Glitters

Bethanie went trick-or-treating around the hospital, and finally in November, Jeff and his team declared her cured. There was no sign of leukemia in any of her tests. Technically, she was in remission, but he thought there was a strong possibility that the disease would not return. They had a party to celebrate it with ice cream and balloons in the pediatric ward.

She was officially discharged from the hospital. All the nurses and doctors came to say goodbye to Bethanie. And on the last day when she went to thank Jeff again, Coco handed him an envelope with a five-hundred-thousand-dollar check in it. It was less than he wanted, but it was an enormous gift.

She had dinner with Sam that night. They were leaving for London the next day. She had been there for six months. It felt like an eternity to her.

“Do you think you’d ever move back here?” Sam asked her wistfully. He had loved having her nearby during Bethanie’s treatments, and being able to see her anytime he wanted, even every day for a short time. He told her that she had gotten him through a hard time. Tamar’s depression had finally started to lift. She said now that she didn’t want to have any more children, and this time Sam believed her. The last one had taken too big a toll on her. Sam admitted to Coco he was relieved. “Four is a lot of kids.”

“I don’t think I’d move back,” she said. “I’m going to keep the apartment here, though. I’ve been thinking about selling the house in London. It’s too big for us, and it has bad memories for me now.” She tried not to think of Nigel there, but the house was more than she wanted to deal with. “And I’ve been thinking of going back to school.”

“You too?” He was surprised. “That’s all Tamar can think of. I’m beginning to think she was too young to get married, and I sure was. Some of my friends from college aren’t even married yet. And I’ve been married for five years, and have four kids.”

“Do you regret it?” she asked, and he hesitated.

“Sometimes. It’s a lot with my father’s business to run.” He still considered it his father’s and not his own. “I’d rather have a smaller office and deal with bigger clients. I’m slowly getting into investment advising full-time, which I like a lot better than accounting. My mother is opposed to it, and so is Tamar, but it’s a much more exciting and lucrative field for me, although it involves more risk.”

“Then you should do it,” she encouraged him. “You can’t live your life for everyone else.” He nodded, wondering if it was true. He had for years, and his family seemed to like it better than he did.

“What about you? Where are you thinking of going to school?”

“You’ll think I’m crazy,” she said, with a look of mischief in her eye that reminded him of when they were in high school, which he thought were the best years of their lives.

“I’ve always thought you were crazy.” He smiled at her. “Good-crazy. You do things, most people don’t and just waste their lives, like me.”

“Don’t be so tough on yourself. You do things too. You have four kids, what more do you want?” He didn’t say it, but he wanted his dreams back. Coco hadn’t given up her dreams, she had invented new ones. “Jeff says that Bethanie needs to be checked at a university hospital where they use the same protocols as he did, which means Boston, New York, or Paris. I’ve been thinking about doing my last two semesters at the American University in Paris. I’m tired of New York after the past six months, and I don’t want to go to Boston. But Paris might be fun for a year. I need to see what’s happening with my business, but Leslie seems to be doing fine without me. I could spend a year in Paris, and maybe go back to London then. I think I’ve become a nomad, like Ian. I’ll see what I decide when I go back.”

Sam couldn’t take them to the airport, and Coco and Bethanie left quietly the next day. Bethanie had been incredibly brave and she had come through it, and with luck she would never have a relapse. Coco had sent a text to Ian to tell him that Bethanie was in remission, and hopefully cured. He hadn’t responded, but at least he knew. She felt she owed him at least that. It was going to be strange going back to the house in London and not seeing him there, or Bruce lounging in the kitchen, waiting for Ian to come home or for someone to give him a meal.

—

The house in London was immaculate and silent when they walked in. Bethanie rushed to her room to check on her dolls and stuffed animals and they were all there. There was a note from Ian, that he had left on Bethanie’s bed, and it brought tears to Coco’s eyes when she read it to her.

“Miss Beth: When you read this, you’ll be home and all well again. Have a wonderful time in school, play with all your friends, be good to your mom, and remember to tell her how much you love her. I am going away to ride camels and write a book. Always remember that I love you. Bruce and I will miss you. A big hug and all my love, Mr. Ian.” There was no mention of his coming back or seeing her again.

And there was no note on Coco’s bed when she went to check. And what could he have said to her? She knew what they had shared and how much they loved each other. It was enough. But when she went to bed that night, she noticed the galleys of his next book on her bed table. She had read it when he finished writing it. She opened it to the dedication page, just as she was meant to. He hadn’t dedicated it yet when she’d read it. There was a lump in her throat the size of a fist. “To the four women I have loved and always will, Weenie, my mother, Coco, and Bethanie, with all my love, I.K.” And beneath it he had written in the familiar brown ink he used, “I love you, Ian.” He had put it on her bed table when he left, and it had waited for her for six months.

The last six months had been an incredible odyssey, through Bethanie’s leukemia, losing Ian the day they left, and now coming home to an empty house. She wasn’t sure what to do next, but tomorrow she would go to her office, find out what they were working on, and call the American University in Paris. She wanted to live her life now. She didn’t want to waste a moment of it, and Paris seemed like a suitable destination for a while.

She checked on Bethanie, who was sound asleep. She had put Ian’s letter on her bulletin board. As she slipped into her own bed, between crisp clean sheets, Coco wondered what chapters would come next. With Bethanie cured, she could turn her attention to the business of living again. And wherever Ian was now, she hoped he was happy. She knew that she would always love him, and that he would love her, as best he could.

—

Coco dropped Bethanie off at her school the next day, where they celebrated her. Everyone stood up and cheered when she walked in, and they had made posters welcoming her back. When Coco walked into her office shortly after, she hardly recognized it. Leslie had done some redecorating, and hired three new assistants, who were already busy. They had spoken regularly, FaceTimed daily, and Leslie had sent her frequent emails. The business was continuing to grow, and Coco didn’t feel as though they needed her desperately. She talked to Leslie that morning about going to Paris to go back to school, and Leslie smiled broadly at her.

“Do it! You’ve had a hell of a year, you deserve whatever you want to do.” Coco was feeling the same way about it. She wanted to celebrate life after going through hell in New York. Bethanie’s recovery was a major victory, the only one that mattered.

She spoke to the admissions office at AUP, and although she was applying late, they were willing to let her start in January. She promised to send them her transcript from Columbia, and then she marched into Leslie’s office with a grin.