Christopher Buckley - Wet Work

"Correct. First in will be the A-10 Thunderbolt. One-to-seven scale. She's configured right for the turbines, plus the Peruvian Air Force flies Thunderbolts, so it won't look out of place."

"You got her all decaled?"

"'Fuerza Aerea Peruana,' yes, sir. I thought it'd be better to wait till the last minute, in case we got inspected back in Iquitos."

"Good thinking."

"Thunderbolt's radio designation will be Slow Boy. Now, the second wave will consist of the two F/A-18 Blue Hornets. They're one-to-twelve scale. These are just-I can't say enough about these aircraft. They just never let you down. These will be our real workhorses, with U.S. markings. They'll look like they just blasted off the deck of the Nimitz . Their radio designations are Slim Jim One and Slim Jim Two."

"The third and final wave is Fat Albert. We're assembling him right now. Fat Albert is a one-to-seven-scale version of the Grumman A-6E Intruder."

"Aw, shit." said McNamara.

"There a problem?"

"Go on," said Charley.

"We're going with the 6E configuration instead of the 6A on account of the increased payload factor. The Intruder carries two tandem triplets of five-hundred-pound bombs. Ours will be carrying two tandem triplets of six-hundred-grain HMX bombs. We're talking payload here. You boys who took part in the Vietnam conflict-"

"Conflict?"

"Well, we never actually declared war, as I understand. However, you may recall that the North Vietnamese and the Vietcong nicknamed this aircraft quote the Miniature B-52 unquote, and for good reason. I've never seen a one-to-one-scale A-6E in action, but I've read everything there is to-"

"I have," said McNamara. "I saw one wipe out a whole field of infantry once, just like that."

"I bet it was some sight, huh?"

"Yes, it was. First Batt, First Marines. It was some fucking sight."

"Uh huh. Well, shit happens."

Mac stared.

"Usually it was a Forward Air Controller calling up bad coordinates, not the pilot," said Hot Stick.

"Couldn't find enough of the FAC to ask him. Had to ask the pilot himself. Tracked him down up in Seattle afterward. That happens here, going to track you down."

"This probably won't mean anything to you, but I learned how to fly UAVs from Dennis Crooks and Bob Fiorenze."

"And I learned how to remove lungs from Master Sergeant Bob Ruckhauser."

"Boys, boys," said Charley, "we're all on the same team here, let's try to remember."

"Well, what about that accident he had?" said Mac. "You win one of your Scale Masters trophies for wiping out a section of grandstand, Dip Stick?"

"That was a faulty fuel-control unit."

"So?"

" We few ," Charley murmured, " we happy few, we band of brothers. "

"And even then I was able to get her into an easy graveyard spiral. You have any idea how hard that is to do? It wasn't my fault they all stood there with their binoculars like a bunch of sheep."

Charley said, "Now, I'm sure we all got things in our pasts we'd like to change if we had the chance. We can talk about it on the way downriver. What we need to talk about now is… What's the matter with him? Dolby? Has he been drinking?"

Dolby, sitting down at the end near the passageway into the salon, had pitched forward onto Tallulah's table.

"Damnit, Dolby, this is no time to take a nap."

Bundy saw it first, a sliver of bamboo protruding from the pony-tail. The end of the stick was wound with wool dipped in clay for ballast and a tight seal when the dart was propelled with a blast of air through the hollow shaft. The tip, coated with the sweat of a tiny black-and-yellow frog, was embedded a half-inch deep in the muscles of Dolby's neck, a short hop to the brain.

"I don't care if the Army feels left out, Ray. For God's sake."

"It's just, they feel there's an Army dimension to it."

"I don't see what. It's a river, isn't it? A river is water, isn't it? Water is Navy material, isn't it?"

"Sure, but if you look at the broader context-"

"This is exactly what happened with the Grenada thing. Every branch of the service had to have its thumb in the pie."

"From an Army point of view-"

"Same with the Iranian thing."

"We may be apple-and-oranging here."

"What happened to our loop here, Ray? Dick? This loop is getting out of hand. It's not even a loop anymore. It's a, a Beltway. You've got the Navy, the Marines, now you want the Army in on it."

"The Seventh Special Forces Group is on station down there, in Santa Lucia. The feeling is they have a feel for the area. Besides, John, this came from Colin, not me."

"It came from Colin?"

"Well, Colin is Army."

"We just keep adding to this, Ray. We just keep adding and adding and adding. You're going to come in here tomorrow and tell me there's a, a Coast Guard dimension. Why don't we get the, the Army Corps of Engineers while we're at it. Why don't we have them go down there and build a dam so he can't get upstream."

"It's still a tight loop. If it's the loop you're worried about, you know what the Airborne motto is."

"No, I do not."

"'Land softly, kill quietly.' You don't have to worry about leaks from the Army."

"I'm not worried about leaks. I'm worried we're going to need an aircraft carrier to transport everyone. And then you'll tell me we need submarines to protect it ."

"It's just that SOLIC draws on all the services, John, so it's only natural that all the services would want, would want to input the thing. But I'll go back and tell Colin that you're dead set against the Army dimension. I'll just say, 'John says no Army.'"

"No. All right, look, if Colin wants the Army on board, if he really thinks-whatever."

"I think that's a good call."

"But I want it on the record that I think this thing is turning into a nine-hundred-pound gorilla."

"It just looks that way."

"Bill, what about things at your end? Are we nailed down?"

"I didn't think we were there yet."

"We're not, I just want to know if, is it nail-downable if we do get there?"

"We're more at the probing stage. We're trying to find out who knows what. You've got to know where to put the nails."

"I appreciate that, Bill. But when I take this package down the hall, I don't want to have to tell him, 'Everything's set except for Bill's end. He's looking where to put the nails.'"

"No, we're, we're working something inside DINTID."

"Direccion de Investigaciones de Narcoticos y Trafico Ilicito de Drogas. It's within PIP."

"PIP? Never mind."

"Policia de Investigaciones del Peru. Federales. Their version of the FBI. Though I don't think Dave would like to hear it put that way."

"Are we saying to them, 'We may need you down the line, stand by'? Is that the particular nail you're trying to figure out where to put?"

"That's close enough."

"Well, okay, but are they in a position to damage-control it if we get into the banana-peel situation?"

"That's the idea. The problem is containing the information. Down there the shit floats uphill, if you follow."

"No, I don't follow, Bill. I just don't want to have to go down the hall and tell him, 'The problem is that down there shit floats uphill.' He's not going to know what I'm talking about and I'm not going to know what I'm talking about."

"We're talking about corruption."

"Our-this asset is corrupt, is that it?"

"No, but you want to be careful. One individual we were using down there turned out to be drawing five paychecks, three of them from U.S. agencies. Us, DEA and Customs. And two from competing dopers. Counting his PIP paycheck I suppose that makes six."