Larry McMurtry - Lonesome Dove

So he stayed, day by day, paying no attention to what anyone said. That in itself was a luxury he wouldn't have at home, for a disappointed woman was not easy to ignore.

Jake ate without tasting his food, wishing he had never come back to Lonesome Dove. It was going to be no pleasure riding north, if Call was so disapproving. He had meant to take Call aside and quietly explain it, but somehow he could not think of the best words to use. Call's silences had a way of making him lose track of his thoughts-some of which were perfectly good thoughts, in their way.

As they ate, the dusk deepened. Sean O'Brien, on the far side of the herd, began to sing his night song, an Irish melody whose words did not carry across the long plain where the cattle stood. But in the still night the sound carried; somehow it made Newt want to cry. He was sitting stiffly only a few feet from Lorena. He had been looking at her closely for the first time-hardly daring to, and yet feeling that he was safe because of the dusk. She was more beautiful than he had imagined, but she did not look happy-it gave him a painful feeling to see her unhappiness, and the song made it worse. His eyes filled up. It was no wonder Sean cried so much, Newt thought-his songs made you want to cry even when you couldn't hear the words.

"This is a lucky herd," Augustus said.

"And how is that?" Jake asked, a little testy. In some moods he could tolerate Gus's talk, but at other times the very sound of Gus's voice made him want to take out a gun and shoot the man. It was a loud voice-the sound of it made it hard to think, when it wasn't easy to think anyway. But the most aggravating aspect to it was that Gus always sounded cheerful, as if there was no trouble in the world that could catch him. At times when life seemed all trouble, the sight of Gus, untouched by all that went on around him, was difficult to bean.

"Why, it's the only herd on the trail that's got two Irish baritones to sing to it," Augustus said.

"He sings too sad," Needle Nelson said, for the sound of Sean's voice affected him as it had Newt. It brought to mind his mother, who had died when he was eight, and also a little sister he had been fond of, who had succumbed to a fever when only four.

"It's the Irish nature," Augustus said.

"No, it's just Sean," Allen O'Brien said. "He's just a crybaby."

Call came walking over. He felt he had to know what Jake meant to do.

"Well, Jake, have you made your plans?" he asked, being as formal as possible.

"Oh, we've decided to try our luck in Denver for the time being," Jake said. "I believe we'd both enjoy the cool weather."

"It's a hard trip," Call observed.

"Why tell that to Jake?" Augustus asked. "He's a traveled man and ain't put off by hardship. Feather beds ain't his style."

He had meant it as blatant irony, since of course feather beds were exactly Jake's style, but the discussion was so solemn that his flourish went unnoticed.

"We had hoped to sort of ease along with the bunch of you," Jake said, his eyes down. "We'll make our own camp, so as not to be in the way. Might could help out a little if things get tight. The water might be a little chancy, once we hit the plains."

"If I'd liked water better I guess I'd have stayed a riverboater, and you boys would have missed out on some choice conversation over the years," Augustus said.

"Hell, it's taken ten years off my life, listening to you talk," Jake said.

"Jake, you are surly tonight," Augustus said mildly. "I guess leaving the easy pickings around here has put you out of sorts."

Pea Eye was carefully whetting his bowie knife on the sole of one boot. Though they were still perfectly safe, as far as he knew, Pea had already begun to have bad dreams about the big Indian whose ferocity had haunted his sleep for years. The dreams had been so bad that he had already started sleeping with the unsheathed bowie knife in his hand, so he would be in the habit of it by the time they hit Indian country. This precaution caused certain problems for the young hands whose duty it was to wake him for his shift at night herding. It put them in danger of getting stabbed, a fact which troubled Jasper Fant particularly. Jasper was sensitive to danger. Usually he chose to wake Pea by kicking him in one foot, although even that wasn't really safe-Pea was tall and who knew when he might snap up and make a lunge. Jasper had concluded that the best way would be to pelt him with small rocks, although such caution would only earn him the scorn of the rest of the hands.

"I wouldn't have wanted to miss hearing you talk, Gus," Pea said, though he could not offhand remember a single thing Gus had said over the years. But he could remember, night after night, drowsing off to the sound of Gus's voice.

"I'm ready to start, if we got to start," Augustus said. "We got enough cattle now to stock five ranches."

Call knew that was true, but he found it difficult to resist running over to Mexico every few nights to add more cattle. They were easy to get, without Pedro Flores to contend with.

"It does seem a pity you're so independent, Jake," Augustus said. "If you come in with us you could be a cattle baron yet."

"Nope, I'd rather be pore than chew the dust," Jake said, standing up. Lorie stood up too. She felt her silence coming back. It was men watching her while trying to pretend they weren't watching her that brought it on. Few of them were bold enough just to look straight at her. They had to be sneaky about it. Being among them in the camp was worse than the saloon, where at least she had her room. In the camp there was nothing she could do but sit and listen to the talk pass her by.

"I guess we'll try to find a ridge to camp on," Jake said. "It would be nice to be upwind from these smelly beasts."

"Good God, Jake, if you're that finicky you ought to have been a barber," Augustus said. "Then you could smell hair oil and toilet water all day and never be offended." He walked over and helped Lorena mount. The brown mare was restless and kept slinging her head.

"I may take to barbering yet," Jake said, annoyed that Gus had seen fit to help Lorie again. She was going to have to learn to mount sometime, with over a thousand miles of riding ahead.

"I hope you'll come back for breakfast," Augustus said. "We eat about an hour before sunrise. Woodrow Call likes to put in a full day, as you may remember."

"For that matter we intend to have our breakfast sent out by the hotel," Jake said sarcastically, spurring his horse.

Call watched them go, annoyed. Augustus noticed, and chuckled.

"Even you can't stop inconvenient things from happening, Call," he said. "Jake can only be controlled up to a point, and Lorie's a woman. She can't be controlled at all."

Call didn't want to argue about it. He picked up his Henry and walked out of the circle of firelight, meaning to have a few minutes to himself. Passing behind the wagon, he bumped into Newt, who had evidently been holding his water while the woman was in camp and had just slipped off to relieve himself.

"Sorry, Captain," he said.

"You ought to go get Dish," Call said. "I don't know why he rode off. It ain't his shift. I guess we'll start tomorrow. We can't take all the cattle in Mexico."

He stood silently a moment. The mood to walk had left him.

Newt was surprised. The Captain never shared his decisions with him, and yet it seemed that the decision to leave had just been made, night there behind the wagon.

"Captain," he asked, "how far is it, up north?" It was something he couldn't stop wondering about, and since the Captain hadn't walked away, the question just popped out.

Then he immediately felt silly for asking it. "I guess it's a mighty far piece, up north," he said, as if to relieve the Captain of the need to answer.