Larry McMurtry - Lonesome Dove

"I'm Wilbarger," Wilbarger said. "This is my man Chick."

"You're free to get down," Call said.

"Oh, well," Wilbarger said, "why get down when I would soon just have to climb back up? It's unnecessary labor. I hear you men trade horses."

"We do," Call said. "Cattle too."

"Don't bother me about cattle," Wilbarger said. "I got three thousand ready to start up the trail. What I need is a remuda."

"It's a pity cattle can't be trained to carry riders," Augustus said. The thought had just occurred to him, so, following his habit, he put it at once into speech.

Both Call and Wilbarger looked at him as if he were daft.

"You may think it a pity," Wilbarger said. "I can call it a blessing. I suppose you wrote that sign."

"That's right," Augustus said. "Want me to write you one?"

"No, I ain't ready for the sanatorium yet," Wilbarger said. "I never expected to meet Latin in this part of Texas but I guess education has spread."

"How'd you round up that much stock without horses?" Call asked, hoping to get the conversation back around to business.

"Oh, well, I just trained a bunch of jackrabbits to chase 'em out of the brush," Wilbarger said, a bit testy.

"In fact some dern Mexicans stole our horses," he added. "I had heard you men hung all the Mexican horsethieves when you was Rangers, but I guess you missed a few."

"Why, hell, we hung ever one of 'em," Augustus said, glad to see that their visitor was of an argumentative temper. "It must be the new generation that stole your nags. We ain't responsible for them."

"This is idle talk," Wilbarger said. "I happen to be responsible for three thousand cattle and eleven men. If I could buy forty horses, good horses, I'd feel happier. Can you oblige me?"

"We expect to have a hundred head available at sunup tomorrow," Call said. Gus's talkativeness had one advantage-it often gained him a minute or two in which to formulate plans.

"I had no intention of spending the night here," Wilbarger said. "Anyway, I don't need a hundred head, or fifty either. How many could I get this afternoon?"

Augustus dug out his old brass pocket watch and squinted at it.

"Oh, we couldn't sell horses now," he said. "We're closed for the day."

Wilbarger abruptly dismounted and automatically loosened his horse's girth a notch or two to give him an easier breath.

"I never expected to hear talk like this," he said. "I never heard of a livery stable closing in bright daylight."

"Oh, the stable don't close," Augustus said. "We can stable anything you want us to. It's just the horse-trading part of the operation that's closed."

Wilbarger walked up to the porch. "If that jug's for rent I'll rent a swig," he said. "I guess that jug's about the only thing that's still open in this town."

"It's open and it's free," Augustus said, handing it to him.

While Wilbarger was drinking, Augustus looked at Call. The remark about the hundred horses had struck him as bold talk, even if they were planning a swing through Mexico. Their main object on recent swings had been cattle. Now and again they ran into a few horses and threw them in with the cattle, but seldom more than ten or twelve in one night. Where the other ninety were to come from Augustus didn't know.

"Ain't there a whore in this town?" Chick asked. He was still horseback. The remark took everybody by surprise. Wilbarger seemed quite displeased with it.

"Chick, I thought you had a few manners," he said. "Talking that kind of talk down at the lots is one thing. Talking it up here when I'm trying to discuss business with these gentlemen is something else."

"Well, them boys at the lots wouldn't tell me," Chick said, with a touch of a whine.

"That's because they're God-fearing boys," Augustus said. "You wouldn't catch them boys with no Jezebel."

"Is that her name?" Chick asked. "It ain't the name I heard."

"He's never learned to curb his passions," Wilbarger said. "I hope you'll excuse him."

"A loose tongue is never welcome," Augustus said mildly.

"Horses," Wilbarger said, returning to the more important subject. "This business about being closed is an irritation. I'd hoped to be back to my herd by sunup. It's held in a bad place. The mosquitoes will eat most of my crew if I don't hurry. If I could just get enough ponies to get me started I might be able to pick up some extras as I go north."

"That's a risk," Call said.

"I know it's a risk-what ain't?" Wilbarger said. "How many could you sell me this afternoon?"

Call was tired of beating around the bush.

"Three," he said.

"Three this afternoon and a hundred tomorrow," Wilbarger said. "You must know a man with lots of horses to sell. I wish I knew him."

"He mostly sells to us," Augustus said. "We're lavish with money."

Wilbarger handed back the jug. "You're lavish with time, too," he said. "My time. We couldn't go visit this man right now, could we?"

Call shook his head. "Sunup," he said.

Wilbarger nodded, as if that was what he had expected. "All right," he said. "If you've left me a choice, I don't notice it."

He walked back to the black horse, tightened the girth and pulled himself back into the saddle.

"You men won't disappoint me, will you?" he asked. "I'm mean as a torn turkey when I'm disappointed."

"We've always been taken at our word," Call said. "You can count on forty horses at sunup, thirty-five dollars a horse."

"We'll be here," Wilbarger said. "You won't have to hunt us up."

"Wait a minute," Call said. "What's your horse brand, or do you have one?"

"I have one," Wilbarger said. "I brand H I C on the left hip."

"Are your horses shod?" Call asked.

"All shod," Wilbarger said. "Bring 'em if you see 'em."

"What's H I C stand for?" Augustus asked.

"Well, it's Latin," Wilbarger said. "Easier than what you wrote on that sign."

"Oh," Augustus said. "Where'd you study Latin?"

"Yale college," Wilbarger said. Then he and Chick trotted off.

"I figure he's a liar," Augustus said. "A man that went to Yale college wouldn't need to trail cattle for a living."

"How do you know?" Call said. "Maybe the family went broke. Or maybe he just wanted an outdoor life."

Augustus looked skeptical. It was a shock to think there was someone in town more educated than himself.

"Caught you off, didn't he?" Call said. "You didn't even know what that short little word means."

"Why, it's short for hiccough," Augustus said blithely. "It's a curious thing to brand on a horse, if you ask me."

"You figure Jake's drunk?" Call asked.

"Why, no," Augustus said. "I figure he's happier than he was this morning, though. Why?"

"Because I want him sober tonight," Call said. "I want you both sober."

"I could be sober as the day I was born and not find no hundred horses," Augustus said. "Those figures don't make sense. Wilbarger just needs forty, and we can't find that many anyway. What will we do with the other sixty if we was to find them?"

"We'll need a remuda ourselves, if we go to Montana," Call said.

Augustus sat the jug down and sighed. "I could kick Jake," he said.

"Why?"

"For putting that idea in your head," Augustus said. "Jake's an easy fellow. Ideas like that float right through his head and out the other side. But no dern idea has ever made it through your head. Your brain would bog a mule. Here I've been living in a warm climate most of my life and you want me to move to a cold climate."

"Why not, if it's better country?" Call asked.

Augustus was silent for a time. "I don't want to argue Montana right now," he said. "I thought we was still arguing tonight. Where are we aiming to steal a hundred horses?"

"The Hacienda Flores," Call said.

"I knowed it," Augustus said. "We ain't going on a cowhunt, we're launching an assault."