Ha Jin - War Trash

Gazing at her, I felt my neck going stiff and the blood pounding in my temples. I hadn't seen a young woman for half a year, and the excitement set my heart throbbing. Why did she come to see Pei? Obviously the guards had purposely taken Ming and the cook out so that she could meet with our commissar alone.

I hurried to the southern end of the cell to get close to the rift in the corner. I turned over the empty bucket and stood on its bottom so that I could hear them better. The tide had subsided on the beach and it was windless, but at first I couldn't catch all they were saying. I attuned my ears and little by little began to pick up their words.

"My, you're mending your shirt!" she said with a soft lilt in dulcet Mandarin.

"A serviceman has to do many things by himself," Pei replied lukewarmly. "In fact I'm doing this for my cook."

"It's very hard, isn't it? This kind of needlework doesn't suit a man like you. It's a woman's work. Can I help you with it?"

"No, you're a guest. I mustn't let you touch this smelly thing, infested with cooties. I'm already grateful that you came all the way to see me."

"I've wanted to visit you for a long time."

"I'm sorry I don't even have a seat for you, and I let you stand like that."

"It's all right. Can I take a photo of you?"

"No, don't waste your film. No, no, if you raise your camera I'll have to cover my face with this shirt."

"All right, I won't do it then."

"Tell me, why did you want to see me? I don't think we've ever met."

"Nothing special, I just came to see how you're doing. Don't you miss home?"

"Of course I do. But thousands of my men miss home too."

"You want to go back to China?"

"Yes."

"Can't you go to another place?"

"Like where?"

"The Free World."

"Where's that?"

" Formosa or America or Europe. How about this? We go to the Free World. I mean you – you and me together."

"What do you mean exactly?"

"I'll accompany you wherever you go as long as you don't return to Communist China."

"But I am a Communist. Where else should I go?"

"You can always change."

"You mean to be a traitor?"

"Uh-huh."

"Then my parents would disown me and even my kids wouldn't call me dad." He chuckled and resumed, "I knew you didn't come here for yourself. You represent the Americans and Chiang Kai-shek. Please go back and tell them that I'm too old to be malleable. They'd better give up on me, just to save them all the trouble."

" Mr. Pei, you're too narrow-minded."

"How do you mean?"

"The world is so vast that you can go anywhere. I don't care where I'm buried as long as I'm happy when I'm alive. A real man should set his mind on distant seas and lands."

"How about this, you come with me back to China?"

"No! How can you say that?"

"A good woman should follow the man she sets her heart on." He gave a belly laugh.

"I don't want to mix with the Reds, period."

"But you said you like me."

"Only if you agree to go to the Free World."

"All right, then let me tell you what I think of you." His voice turned serious. "You're an overseas Chinese and seem to be a reasonable person. Why would you serve the American imperialists this way? Or maybe you were sent here by the Nationalists in Taiwan. Either way, how much do they pay you for trying all your tricks on this old man? Are you not worth more than that?"

"Knock it off! Save this load of crap for the other Commies. Don't talk to your grandma like this."

"Oh-oh, I didn't think you'd blow up so soon."

"Enjoy the jail then."

"Take back your present, will you?"

The door was slammed. Immediately I stepped down from the bucket and rushed to the window. She came out of the corner of the house in a huff. A stout tin landed behind her with a thud, but she paid no mind to it and made for the car. Waving her hand, she said loudly to the American officer, "No go. Such a diehard!"

The officer stretched his neck and shouted at the war criminals cell, "Damn you, I'll get your balls one of these days!"

They got into the jeep. In the murky, humid twilight the car rolled away along the coast toward the east, where the South Korean army's training center was.

I thought the orange tin must contain candies or nuts. A maintenance man strode over and picked it up. He opened it, pulled out a piece of pastry, and took a bite. "Hey, moon cakes stuffed with red bean paste and sesame!" he cried at another man who was digging for clams on the beach, then ran toward him, waving the tin all the way.

The Moon Festival must have been around the corner or just over. Without access to the lunar calendar, I didn't know on what date the holiday fell this year.

The next morning I was returned to Compound 6. Some inmates had seen the jeep carrying the woman to the prison and asked me about her visit. I described to them the exchange between Commissar Pei and her. They were all impressed by our leader's wit and ability to resist female charms. Soon different versions of this story began circulating in the camp. Some of them were extravagantly enlarged. One went so far as to claim that the woman had opened her arms to embrace the commissar, who repelled her by showing her a fat louse caught behind his ear. I noticed that whenever the prisoners talked about Commissar Pei 's meeting with this woman, they tended to poke fun at women in general in order to make themselves appear more macho. They couldn't help bragging about themselves while holding up our top leader as a model.

The truth was that nobody in the commissar's place would have dared to accept the woman's favors. His cook and interpreter were outside within earshot and I was on the other side of the wall, also able to hear the conversation. Besides, the maintenance men were all watchful. Only a fool would have gotten entangled with her then and there. I dared not explain my thoughts to my barracks mates, who seemed eager to create a hero worthy of their worship.

After I saw that woman, to be honest, I thought about her for several days. What kind of person was she, bold enough to offer herself that way? Whatever her motivation, it must have taken a lot of nerve to do that. I was bothered by the fact that she was willing to become intimate with a strange man she must have despised in her heart. Did she do that only for money? Probably so. What a tough job she had, trying to seduce a dedicated Communist like Pei. At bottom I was a little disappointed, because she looked like a decent woman in appearance, not that cheap.

On the other hand, she might not have been serious about her offer at all. If the commissar had agreed to go to the Free World with her, she might have dumped him even before they reached there. Perhaps Pei had discerned this ruse; otherwise he mightn't have dealt with her that flippantly. Perhaps he had just put on a show for me and Ming and the cook to witness, so that we could tell our comrades about it.

On the afternoon of September 25, 1952, a message came from the prison house, which ordered: "Every battalion must raise our national flag on October 1 to show our spirit and resolve."

The leaders of the ten compounds passed the order down to the ranks. Most of the prisoners got excited. Bored and restless, they were eager to do something on October 1, our National Day. The immediate difficulty was how to make flags and long poles, and how to hoist the flags and protect them from being destroyed by the enemy. In our battalion people were thinking hard about how to get a piece of cloth, but nobody could come up with a suitable solution. That evening, Wenfu, a spare fellow with sleepy eyes who was the battalion chief's orderly, struck on an idea. "Can't we use a piece of rain cloth?" he said.