Ha Jin - A Free Life

But at night Taotao and Livia would watch TV together in the living room and wouldn't go to bed until after midnight, whereas Nan and Pingping would turn in as soon as they got home. One night Nan saw the two children lounging on the sofa and watching a John Wayne movie. Livia kept yawning, while Taotao looked dreamy, his eyes glassy, somewhat clouded over. He didn't respond to his father's sudden appearance, as if he were dozing. His delicate fingers were holding something like a tiny cigarette. Nan looked closely-it wasn't a cigarette but a joint. He shouted, "Damn it, you're smoking marijuana!"

"Just a little bit."

"It's drugs!"

"Not that much different from tobacco."

The boy gave him a silly smile, his nose quivered a little, and he seemed too dazed to speak more. Nan snatched the joint from him and snuffed it out with his thumb and forefinger. He turned to Livia. "You gave him this, right? Damn you!"

"He-he asked for it. I told him he shouldn't smoke in the house, but he wouldn't listen."

"Still, you're a drug dealer. I'm going to call zer police."

"Please don't, Nan! I just happened to have a little bit of the weed on me."

"Give it to me." He stretched out his hand.

She pulled out of her pocket a white envelope, six inches by four in size and about a third full, and handed it to him. At this moment Pingping stepped in, wrapped in a nightgown, and said loudly to nobody in particular, "You can't smoke in here." She peered at Tao-tao, who looked dumb. "What's wrong with him?"

Nan explained and showed her the stump of the joint. She burst out at Livia, "How dare you teach him to eat drug! I'm going to call your mother now."

"Please, Pingping, don't be mad! My mom knows."

"What, she know you are drugger?"

"I'm not a druggie! I just got a bit of the weed from Neil, who's my boyfriend. My mom chased him out of our house when she discovered it."

Nan broke in, "Are you telling us zer truth?" "Swear to God, I am."

Pingping switched off the TV. "Taotao, how many times do you smoke that stuff?" "Only once."

"This is his first time," put in Livia. "Clearly you're a bad influence," Nan said.

The girl hung her head without another word. After making her and Taotao promise never to do drugs again and sending them to bed, the parents sat down and talked between themselves. Nan wondered if they should inform Heidi of Livia's drug problem, but Pingping believed Heidi already knew. For better or worse, the girl wouldn't lie. Probably she had fled home because she and her mother had fought over this matter. Nan and Pingping decided to keep a closer eye on the two children until Heidi arrived.

HEIDI arrived two days later. She looked much older than she had three years before, with more wrinkles on her neck, and her grizzled bangs were almost white now. She had lost weight, though she was still broad in the beam. She hugged and kissed both Pingping and Nan and thanked them for accommodating Livia, who seemed happy to see her mother.

Nan had to cook in the kitchen while Heidi and Pingping were sitting at a table and conversing. Taotao was at the counter, working as the cashier, and Livia helped Niyan as the busgirl.

Heidi had checked in at the Hilton Hotel in downtown Atlanta, where she also had a bed for Livia, but she hadn't mentioned this to the girl, unsure if she'd be willing to stay with her. Heidi, having eaten brunch, took only a beef ravioli from the appetizer platter Nan had placed on the table. Now and then she'd steal a glance at her daughter, who paid no heed to her and was ogling a young man in a maroon silk shirt seated near the window with an Indian woman, whose face was so heavily made up that Pingping couldn't tell her age-probably under thirty.

"Livia's hopeless," Heidi whispered to Pingping. "She started to have trouble with boys last winter and didn't do well in school."

"She is good girl in heart," consoled Pingping.

"If only I could talk some sense into her."

Afraid their conversation might annoy Livia, who seemed to be eavesdropping, Pingping offered to give Heidi a tour of their house. Together they went out to the Wus' passenger van. Usually Nan kept the car's backseats down, using it as a freight vehicle as well, but after Livia arrived, Pingping vacuumed it and put all the seats up.

Heidi was amazed by the Wus' home, not only by the brick ranch but especially by the lake and the immense trees in the backyard. She turned to Pingping. "Now, tell me again, how many years have you been in the United States?"

" Nan is here nine year, me seven and half years."

"Wow, in less than a decade you already have your own business, a house, and two cars. I'm so happy for you, to see you doing so well."

"We just try to manage. Still have mortgage to pay."

"Is it a big one?"

"Not really, about forty thousand dollars left."

"Amazing. This can happen only in America. I'm very moved by the fact that you and Nan have actualized your American dream so quickly. I'm proud of this country."

Pingping smiled, a bit embarrassed by her effusion. Heidi waved at the old Romanian man sitting on the opposite shore and holding a fishing rod. That florid-faced man spoke no English and often went angling there alone, a small metal bucket sitting next to him. Once Pingping saw that he had caught six large fish, two bass and four bullheads. That had made her feel as if she'd been robbed, as if the lake weren't public property but her family's. The feeling probably arose because every morning when she looked out the window, she'd see fish skip out of the surface of the shimmering water.

When they turned to observe a gray egret that stood on one leg in the shallows, Pingping said to Heidi, "Livia said you have a boyfriend now."

Heidi nodded. "His name is Joe, a good guy, but Livia and Nathan are not pleased."

"They will grow up and leave home. You can't be old lady live in that big house by yourself."

"You're right. I have my life too."

They also talked about the public schools in Gwinnett County. Pingping said that in general, the language instruction here was quite good, with students reading and writing a great deal, but the science part was rather weak. She had heard several neighbors complain that the high school didn't offer science projects and had invested too much in sports because its football team had won the state championship several times. Last winter Taotao's English teacher had assigned each student to write a novel as homework, and Taotao had started the project but wouldn't show his parents what he had been writing. At first Pingping was amused by the assignment, but soon she suspected that the teacher might have cut corners in her job, knowing few of her students would finish the homework and hand it in for grading.

Their conversation turned to Nan. Pingping told Heidi that he was more like a family man now and worked hard to keep the Gold Wok afloat. "Are you happy here?" Heidi asked, and her clear hazel eyes looked straight at Pingping's smooth face.

"Yes, I'm happy as long as our family are together," she answered, scratching the welt of a mosquito bite on her forearm.

The egret took off from the lakeside, sailing away like a kite. Heidi had stepped on some geese droppings and kept scuffing her pumps on the grass. While shuffling, she gazed at Gerald's yard, in which things were more disordered than before. The trampoline was standing on its side like a makeshift wall, and the doghouse had collapsed, hardly recognizable. Against one of the junk cars was a pile of split firewood, having waited to be stacked since the past winter. Worst of all, the porch behind the house was half installed with gleaming glass, while a part of it remained a gaping hole, as if the house had been disemboweled. Gerald had been working at the thing on and off for more than a year, and it seemed he could never finish it.