Nora Roberts - Sacred Sins

“I’m accepting Dr. Courts cooperation because we’ve got four dead women.” It was the burning in his own stomach that kept Harris from raising his voice. “And I need every one of my officers at top level. Pull yourself together, Ben, or you’ll be the one out of it.”

Tess gathered up her papers and quietly slipped out. Ed was less than ten seconds behind her. “Want some air?” he asked when he found her standing miserably in the hall.

“Yes. Thanks.”

He took her elbow in a way that would normally have made her smile. As he pushed open the door, the blast of November wind buffeted them. The sky was a hard, cold blue, without a cloud to soften it. Both of them remembered it had been August, hot steamy August, when it had begun. Ed waited while Tess buttoned her coat.

“I think we might get some snow by Thanksgiving,” he said conversationally.

“I suppose.” She dipped into her pocket and found her gloves, but only stood running them through her hands.

“I always feel sorry for the turkeys.”

“What?”

“The turkeys,” Ed repeated. “You know, Thanksgiving. I don’t guess they’re very grateful to be a tradition.”

“No.” She found she could smile after all. “No, I guess not.”

“He’s never been tangled up with a woman before. Not like this. Not like you.”

Tess let out a long breath, wishing she could find the answer. She’d always been able to find the answer. “It just gets more complicated.”

“I’ve known Ben a long time.” Ed pulled a peanut out of his pocket, cracked it, and offered the meat to Tess. When she shook her head, he popped it into his mouth. “He’s pretty easy to read, if you know how to look. Right now he’s scared. He’s scared of you and he’s scared for you.”

Tess looked out over the parking lot. One of the cops wasn’t going to be happy when he came out and found his right-front tire flat. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t run away from this, though part of me, deep down, is terrified.”

“Of the phone calls or Ben?”

“I’m beginning to think you should be in my business,” she murmured.

“If you’re a cop long enough, you learn a little bit of everything.”

“I’m in love with him.” It came out slowly, like a test. Once it was said, she took a shaky breath. “That would be hard enough under normal circumstances, but now… I can’t do what he wants.”

“He knows that. That’s why he’s scared. He’s a good cop. As long as he’s looking out for you, you’re going to be okay.”

“I’m counting on it. He’s got a problem with what I do for a living.” She turned to face him. “You know about that. You know why.”

“Let’s say I know enough to say he’s got his reasons, and when he’s ready, he’ll let you know about them.”

She studied his wide, wind-reddened face. “He’s lucky to have you.”

“I’m always telling him.”

“Bend down a minute.” When he did, she brushed her lips over his cheek. “Thanks.”

His color rose a little higher. “Don’t mention it.”

Ben watched them through the glass door a moment before he pushed it open. He’d used up most of his temper on Harris. All that was left was a dull ache in the center of his gut. He knew enough of fear to recognize it.

“Moving in on my time?” he asked mildly.

“If you’re stupid enough to make room.” Ed smiled down at Tess and handed her some peanuts. “Take care of yourself.”

Tess jiggled the nuts in her hand and said nothing as Ed disappeared inside.

His jacket unzipped, Ben stood beside her, looking, as she did, out over the parking lot. The wind sent a small brown bag racing across the asphalt. “I’ve got a neighbor who’ll look after my cat for a while.” When Tess remained silent, he shifted. “I want to move in with you.”

She stared hard at the flat tire. “More police protection?”

“That’s right.” And more, a whole lot more. He wanted to be with her, day and night. He couldn’t explain, not yet, that he wanted to live with her, when he’d never lived with another woman. That kind of commitment had been dangerously close to a permanency he didn’t consider himself ready for.

Tess studied the peanuts in her hand before slipping them into her pocket. As Ed had said, he was easy enough to read if you knew how to look. “I’ll give you a key, but I won’t cook breakfast.”

“How about dinner?”

“Now and then.”

“Sounds reasonable. Tess?” Yes?

“If I told you I wanted you to go because…” He hesitated, then put his hands on her shoulders. “Because I don’t think I could handle it if anything happened to you, would you go?”

“Would you come with me?”

“I can’t. You know I have to-” He broke off, struggling with frustration as she looked up at him. “All right. I should know better than to argue with someone who plays Ping-Pong with brain cells. You’ll do what you’re told, though, right down the line.”

“I have a vested interest in making this case easier for you, Ben. Until it’s over, I’ll do what I’m told.”

“That has to do.” He backed off just enough for her to realize it was the cop now, much more than the man, who stood with her. “Two uniforms are following you to your office. We’ve arranged for the guard in the lobby to take a vacation, and have already replaced him with one of ours. We’ll have three men taking turns in your waiting room. Whenever it can be arranged, I’ll pick you up and take you home. When it can’t, the uniforms will follow you. We’re using an empty apartment on the third floor as a base, but when you get in, your door stays locked. If you have to go out for any reason, you call in and wait until it’s cleared.”

“It sounds thorough.”

He thought about the four glossies on the corkboard. “Yeah. If anything, I mean anything , happens-a guy cuts you off at a light, somebody stops you on the street for directions-I want to know about it.”

“Ben, it’s no one’s fault that things have taken this turn. Not yours, not Harris’s, not mine. We just have to see it through.”

“That’s what I intend to do. There’re the uniforms. You’d better get going.”

“All right.” She went down the first step, then stopped and turned back. “I guess it would be improper conduct for you to kiss me here, while you’re on duty.”

“Yeah.” He bent down, and in the way that never failed to make her limbs weak, cupped her face in his hands. Eyes open and on hers, he lowered his mouth. Her lips were chilled, but soft, generous. Her free hand gripped the front of his coat for balance, or to keep him there an extra moment. He watched in fascination as her lashes fluttered, then lowered slowly to shadow her cheeks.

“Can you remember just where you were for about eight hours?” Tess murmured.

“I’ll make a point of it.” He drew away, but kept her hand in his. “Drive carefully. We wouldn’t want the uniforms to be tempted to give you a ticket.”

“I’d just have it fixed.” She smiled. “See you tonight.”

He let her go. “I like my steak medium-well.”

“I like mine rare.”

He watched her get into her car then pull competently out of the lot. The uniforms stayed a car length behind.

Tess knew she was dreaming, just as she knew there were solid and logical reasons for the dream. But it didn’t stop her from knowing fear.

She was running. The muscles in her right calf were knotted with the effort. In sleep she whimpered quietly in pain. Corridors sprang up everywhere, confusing her. As much as she was able, she kept to a straight route, knowing there was a doorway somewhere. She had only to find it. In the maze her breathing bounced back heavily. The walls were mirrored now, and threw dozens of her reflections at her.