Janet Evanovich - Finger Lickin’ Fifteen

“Talk to me,” Ranger said.

The red-haired guy opened his mouth and nodded his head, but no words came out. His eyes got glassy, and he slid down the wall and sat down hard on the floor. He looked to be about eighteen years old.

“Do we need medical?” Ramon asked, entering the room.

“Give him some time,” Ranger said.

We stood around for a couple minutes, waiting for the kid’s eyes to focus. When he looked like he had a thought in his head, Ranger pulled him to his feet.

“We wanted to be security guys,” the kid said. “We wanted a job at Rangeman, but you wouldn’t even talk to us. You wouldn’t even take our applications. The guy at the desk said we were too young. So we figured we’d start our own security company.”

“And?”

“And Toby thought it would be cool if we financed our company by robbing your accounts. Like we could make a game out of it. Toby is all into games. He had it all figured out. He had all these rules to keep it interesting. Toby’s probably the smartest guy I know.”

Ranger looked around. “Why have you got all the stolen property stacked up here?”

“We didn’t know what to do with it. We figured we’d fence it, but we don’t know anybody who does that. So we used the money to rent these offices while we looked for a fence.”

“Turn them in,” Ranger said to Ramon. “Let me know if there are problems.”

Ramon took the kid out of the office, and his partner followed.

“You should be happy,” I said to Ranger. “You solved your mystery.”

“I was almost ruined by two goofy kids. I’m embarrassed.”

“Whoa,” I said. “That’s an emotion.”

“You think I don’t have emotions?”

“I don’t think you very often get embarrassed.”

“It takes a lot,” Ranger said.

“You brought me in to snoop around. Now that you ‘ve found your bad guys, does this mean I’m being terminated?”

Ranger looked at me. “That’s your decision.”

“I think I’ll keep the job for a while longer, but I’ll move out of your bed.”

“That’s the safe way to go,” Ranger said. “But not the most satisfying. The job will get boring.”

“But not your bed?”

“Not if we’re in it together.”

There was no doubt in my mind.

AN HOUR LATER, I was in my father’s cab with Rex on the seat next to me and a small stash of Rangeman uniforms in a bag on the backseat. I was on my way to my parents’ house, but I took a detour and drove past Morelli’s house just for the heck of it. Lights were on in his downstairs windows, and his SUV was parked curbside. I pulled in behind the SUV, went to Morelli’s door, and knocked.

Morelli grinned when he saw me. “Couldn’t resist my charms?”

“Couldn’t resist your television. My father’s going to be watching baseball, and the Rangers are playing the Devils tonight.”

“I’m all set,” Morelli said. “I’ve got chips and dip and beer.”

I ran back to the cab and got Rex’s cage. Rex wouldn’t want to miss the Rangers playing, and he loved chips.

I put Rex on the coffee table, and I settled in on the couch, next to Bob.

“Have you heard anything about Joyce?”

“She’s going to be okay.”

“And what about the guy who owns the sauce company and hired Marco to whack Chipotle?”

Morelli scooped some dip onto a chip and fed it to me. He had to reach over Bob to do it. “They’re looking for him, but haven’t found him so far. He’s probably in Venezuela.”

“That was pretty scary at the cook-off. It took a lot of guts for Lula to punch that guy.”

“I’m more impressed with the fart.”

“Men.”

“Hey, what can I say, men like farts.”

I told him about finding the break-in guy and his friend, Morelli fed me another chip, and I drank some of his beer.

“Look at us,” I said to Morelli. “We aren’t arguing.”

“That’s because the game hasn’t started,” Morelli said. “Maybe we shouldn’t watch the game. Maybe we should do something else. Are you still off men?”

“I think I’m off and on.”

Morelli grinned at me. “Which night is this? Off or on?”

I smiled back at him. “There are some things a man should find out for himself.”