Michael Chabon - The Mysteries Of Pittsburgh

He laughed again; however, I was, for a moment, half-serious. I thought I must be dreaming a horrible transformation dream in which my blue-and-white-flowered Phlox had become a short, giggling, egg-shaped Jewish gangster. What my father had said to me, indeed, was what he often said in my dreams. But then, behind Lenny, I saw a section of Elaine Stern-her shoulder, I thought-and, behind her, part of Phlox, who stood, eyebrows raised, mouth open, watching as this tremendous woman and her attendant miasma of White Shoulders engulfed me. Aunt Elaine's kisses always hurt one's face; I used to call her the Pincher.

"Actually," said my father, "it isn't quite man to man. Introduce your friend, Art."

He pointed to Phlox, and there was a general whirling around.

"Uncle Lenny Stern, Aunt Elaine, this is Miss Phlox Lombardi. Phlox."

"Oh, isn't she gorgeous!" said Aunt Elaine. She crushed the back of my neck in her fingers. "And how do you like this handsome young man, eh? A prince!" She shook my head like a pompon.

"They aren't really my uncle and aunt," I said.

"I like him very well," said Phlox, and she held out a limp, pretty hand to one of the most notorious lieutenants in Pittsburgh organized crime. We made space for them at our table, which was wrecked, strewn with napkins and spots of red sauce, and two menus were brought, and more coffee. I leaned over to Phlox and whispered that we weren't going to be free for a while yet.

"That's all right," she said. "They're fun."

"Please," I said. I sat back and watched my Uncle Lenny; I hadn't seen him for a long time. He drew my father into a discussion of mutual funds and waved his arms around. His skin was Florida brown; as he got older he spent less and less time in the city of his birth, and the FBI listened in on more and more long-distance calls from West Palm Beach. I knew I was not the only one in the restaurant who watched him. I turned around and saw a couple of dark-haired men at a far table, probably brothers; they nodded to me, and without even thinking I sought out the bulges under their jackets, an ancient reflex of mine, and in the next moment I underwent the equally ancient fantasy of running around to the other side of the table to strangle Lenny Stern. I didn't want to kill him, really. It was a just a ten-year-old's desire to see a little shooting.

Elaine asked Phlox a bunch of questions about her "people," then recited an impressive list of Pittsburgh Italians with whom she was "like that," laying one finger over the other. It developed that Phlox's maternal grandmother was the aunt of a woman whose home and card table Elaine had graced with her giant presence many times in the I950s. At this revelation, my feelings, interrupted at a crisis moment by the new arrivals and held in dazed suspense for the past ten minutes, began to wriggle and stretch and prickle, like frozen toes under a stream of warm water. They were very mixed. I found it strangely pleasing that, beyond all the new and crucial connections between me and Phlox, there could also be this old and silly connection of families; I felt the lover's shocked but unsurprised love of anything that appears to suggest the whimsical engines of destiny.

And yet this link also confirmed that Phlox was now hopelessly mixed up with my family. She'd met not only my father, which I hadn't wanted, but Lenny Stern, and if she just turned around she would also see Them, the two ugly men with guns, who were the lion and the unicorn of my family's coat of arms. I gripped the edge of the table. All of the people I spent time with and loved, rather than helping to take me out of the world into which I'd been born, were being pulled into it: Phlox, the cousin of some dead Mafia wife.was eating a dinner paid for by the Washington Family; the fat, powerful man slapping my father's sleeve and eyeing her across the table was, though distantly, Cleveland's boss; and now-I remembered with alarm- Cleveland, too, was threatening to come into contact with my father. I might have doubted that he would do it, had he not been Cleveland. The more I thought on these things, the more I felt the heavy food sliding slowly and murderously, like pack ice, through my stomach. There are bead people, who suffer from sudden migraines, and there are stomach people, like me.

"Ah, yeah, Marjorie, my God." Lenny's voice rose up out of his quite conversation with my father, and occupied the table. I sat bolt upright. "Floss, it's a real shame you couldn't of met Art's mother. She was a wonderful girl. Played the piano like an angel. She-was-beautiful. Laine?"

"I could forget? An angel. Art? An angel."

I looked at Phlox, who looked at me as though I looked upset, and then at my father, who sighed. He seemed suddenly very tired.

"I remember," I said. "Excuse me." I stood up and went into the men's room, where I knelt with my head over the toilet, and was sick, on and off, for two hundred and forty thundering clicks of the quartz watch my father had given to me at graduation.

"Art," said Phlox, later. We were in her bed. There was the green glow of her radio dial and the faint, lost voice of Patti Page singing "Old Cape Cod." "What happened? Tell me. It was rude to leave like that. I'm embarrassed."

I spoke into her pillow, which smelled of Opium and soap. "My father understood. Don't worry about Lenny and Elaine."

"But what happened? Is it your mother? Why can't anyone mention her without you getting upset?"

I pressed up against her, spoonwise, and spoke over the soft and slightly damp lip of her ear. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "Everyone has some things he doesn't like to discuss, no?"

"You have too many," said Phlox.

"This song always kills me," I said.

She sighed, and then gave up. "Why?"

"Oh, I don't know. Nostalgia. It makes me feel nostalgia for a time I never even knew. I wasn't even alive."

"That's what I do to you too," she said. "I'll just bet."

It was what everything I loved did to me.

Hanging out at the Cloud Factory on the hottest day of the year, shoulders to the wire fence, the sky still that yellow Pittsburgh gray, but the sweat already pasting the hair to my forehead and the cotton to the small of my back. Cleveland was ten minutes late. I looked at the black win-dowless flank of the Carnegie Institute, watched people slip down the back stairs to the rear door of the museum cafeteria; they had nice old Slovak ladies in there who wore clear plastic gloves and served spaetzle and ham and other heavy things. I thought about how I used to prefer that cafeteria to the dinosaurs, the diamonds, and even the mummies. Then I watched the impenetrable Cloud Factory, which was running full tilt, one ideal cloud after another flourishing from its valve and drifting off; they looked dry somehow, crisp and white against the dull, humid sky. I tilted back my head and blew big tangles of cigarette smoke into the air in time with the clicks of the Factory. That morning after breakfast, Phlox and I had screamed at each other for the first time. Now my hands were shaking.

She hadn't wanted me to leave her bed, or her breakfast table, or her lap as I sat in it, lacing my shoes. But I was getting anxious; it had been three days since I'd last spoken to Arthur or Cleveland, and three days, I calculated, was three percent of my summer, which seemed a terrible amount of time to lose. My clear June Technicolor dream of a summer spent fluttering ever upward, like a paper airplane over the heat and hubbub of Times Square, had not faded; all my stupid hopes were still pinned to the stupid two of them. I had to see Cleveland, that was what I felt, even if it was to enter with him the world I had said I never would enter. What I had screamed at Phlox was something else, however; I have no memory of what I said, but I'm sure it was irrational, nasty, and petty.