Tatsuhiko Takimoto - Welcome to the NHK!

Then, we tried to beat up each other. As soon as we started, though, I slipped on the floor and fell. I hit the back of my head as hard as possible. The pain brought tears to my eyes.

“This isn’t fun at all”, Yamazaki complained.

“Don’t say that.”

“It just makes me feel even more empty. I know! Should we do this at the park?”

“Beforehand, let’s do the drugs, as we already have them. Don’t make fun of them just because they’re legal. They still work pretty well. We’ll have a good time.”

Actually, the drugs did work. In fact, the trip was so bad, I thought I would die.

I thought that maybe I should die.

However, I didn’t die.

I might be living a dismal hikikomori life. At the moment, however, I did, technically, have plans to meet someone. As evening fell and all traces of other people had disappeared outside my apartment, I filled my stomach with a late dinner. When it was dark, I set off toward the neighborhood park. The summer night breeze felt good.

I sat on a bench and looked up at the moon and stars in the sky. A black cat sauntered leisurely in front of me. His eyes flashed with the reflection of streetlights.

Ah, it’s night. It certainly was night.

Misaki materialized, there in the park.

“You’re late.” She had been creaking the swing back and forth when, noticing me, she energetically jumped off. The black cat crept over to where she stood, and Misaki picked it up. The cat meowed but didn’t struggle.

“Good girl. I’ll give you some canned food, okay?” Misaki pulled cat food out of the bag on her back. Apparently, she’d been feeding the cat every night. “Cats are great, don’t you think?”

“What’s great about them?”

“Cats just seem to be content wherever, whenever, even if they’re alone.”

I didn’t quite comprehend what she meant, but I tried to answer her appropriately. “Cats don’t really understand gratitude.”

“I know.”

“It’ll forget all about you soon, Misaki. Investing in cat food is such a waste.”

“As long as I give the cat what it wants, it’ll be fine. She’ll remember me. Don’t be cruel. You’ll come to the park every night, right?” She gently stroked the cat’s back as it gobbled down the food. When it finished eating, it slowly strolled away into the bushes.

We sat down on the bench. Misaki took her “secret notebook” out of her bag. And so, tonight, the first counseling session on escaping from hikikomori life began.

Misaki had called it “counseling.” From the very first, her actions and words had been more than strange, so I totally thought it was some kind of joke. However, it seemed she’d been serious.

“You’re late. It says in the contract that you'll come after eating dinner, remember?”

“I just ate dinner—“

“My family eats dinner at seven o’clock.”

How the hell should I know that?! I wanted to yell, but I held it back.

“Well, starting tomorrow, come a little earlier. Anyway, we’ll begin your first ‘escaping hikikomori life' counseling session now, okay? Here, have a seat.”

I moved next to her on the bench, as instructed. Misaki sat beside me, turning to face me.

The park at night… no one else was there. What in the world was about to start? What did she plan to do? I was a little nervous. Misaki put down the huge bag she carried and started rummaging around inside it.

Whispering something like, “Oh, here it is, here it is”, she pulled out a college-ruled notebook. On the cover, “Secret Notebook” had been written in black marker.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“A secret notebook.”

“Like I said, ‘what’s that?’”

“Uh… it’s a secret notebook.” Misaki opened the secret notebook and flipped through pages she’d marked. “Well then, I’ll start the lecture now.”

Backlit by the street lamps, her face wasn’t visible. The tone of her voice was serious, though. Not understanding what was going on, I gulped deeply.

Misaki started her lecture. “Um… I’ll begin with an outline of the hikikomori. Okay, what causes someone to become a hikikomori? Do you know, Satou? Hm? You don’t? That’s what I thought. You dropped out of college, so there’s no way your mind could answer this difficult question, Satou. I know. I’m smart, after all. I’m studying for my GED right now. I study five hours every day. Good of me, right? Ha ha ha…”

She laughed a little more before she continued, “According to the results of my research, not just hikikomori, but all emotional problems are caused by an inability to conform to one’s environment. Basically, because you can’t get along well with the world, various difficulties arise.”

Misaki turned to the next page. “Long ago, we humans thought of many different ways to get along with the world. For example, take the idea of gods. There are all kinds of gods. Even in Japan alone, there are eight million… Huh? Eight million? That’s a little excessive, isn’t it? Is this true? W-well, anyway, there are many gods in the world, and it seems they ease the suffering of quite a lot of people, like those at a church gathering. Those people who can’t be saved by Gods think of other means. For example, philosophy.”

Misaki began digging around in her bag again. After sticking her head inside the enormous bag, she finally found what she was looking for, “Oh, here it is. Here you go.” Pulling out some sort of book, she handed it to me. The title of the book was Sophie’s World.

“This is kind of hard, so I didn’t really understand it, but it seems that this one book can teach you everything you need to know about philosophy. I borrowed it from the library, so read it by tomorrow, okay?”

Nonplussed, I took the book. I was at my wit’s end over what to do while Misaki’s lecture droned on. “Um, well then, after philosophy, we have psychoanalysis! It seems to have been popular from around the nineteenth century, after some guy named Freud thought of it. People say that if you undergo psychoanalysis, your problems really do disappear. For instance, do you remember any dreams you had last night? I’ll analyze them for you. Tell me what happened in your dream s, Satou.”

I told her. “A really huge, strong snake appeared. It dove into the ocean, and I stuck a thick sword into an apple. Also, I blasted away all around me with a black, shining, amazing gun.”

Upon hearing this, Misaki withdrew another paperback from inside her gigantic bag. This one was entitled Dream Analysis: With This Single Book, You Easily Can Grasp the Depths of Your Psyche!

“Hm… snake, ocean, apple, sword, gun…” Muttering to herself, she was searching the index when suddenly, she looked away, face reddening. For some reason, I grasped the situation, even in the pitch-black park.

“Th-that’s enough Freud! Next, let’s do Jung!” Misaki yelled loudly.

“Hey! What are the results of my dream analysis? Misaki, tell me what the big snake could possibly symbolize.” I persisted, but she ignored my attempts at sexual harassment.

“Jung… This guy argued with Freud, and it seems he went in a different direction. Well then, let’s start a Jungian psychoanalysis.”

“Hey, don’t ignore me. Wait a second!”

“As far as I can see, you’re ‘introverted’, and ‘emotive’! You’re afraid of the ‘Great Mother’. Additionally, you also are fighting with the shadows. How terrible! To learn more, please read this book.” Misaki once again pulled out a book and handed it to me. This one was All About Jung, Explained by Manga!

My head was starting to hurt, yet Misaki’s lecture kept going. And going. From Jung to Adler to Lacan. “I don’t understand Lacan! I just can’t lock on!”